I’m Goliath (maybe)

Goliath shook his head. "I know you feel the need to defend him because he shares your name, but you're a good guy, and he's... he's kind of a monster! I heard he used to have a nurse, before he refused to give the nurse a raise for all the shit he did." Goliath sighed and turned to the bartender. "Hey, can you get me and my friend here another beer? Just put it on my tab."

Larry was grateful for the drink. This conversation was going to be tough. Surely the alcohol would help him keep his mind straight. "Well, I don't know! You ever been a doctor? I bet it can't be easy."

“Okay, and have you? Because being a doctor requires years of training and schooling. How could you go through all that schooling and still fuck up? I went to him years ago for back problems and I swear he’s given me more injuries since then! I bet you his degree is fake.” Goliath sneered. “He’s lucky that I don’t box anymore. And look, you’re a nice guy for trying to defend him, but if you ever went to the guy? He’s nothing like you. He probably wouldn’t even defend you like you’re defending him.”

"Weeeell," Larry started weakly. "I just think God wants us to forgive each other. Or another bullshit lesson we preach, you know?" He swallowed hard. "Oh good! The beer!" He took a giant, almost concerning drink out of the glass.

“Look, I get that we work on a Bible show, but I’m not religious. So I don’t really have to forgive anyone, you know? Especially not when they’ve been scamming me out of thousands of dollars in medical debt and insurance fraud just to keep GUESSING at how to treat back pain!” Goliath snapped in his booming, Goliath voice. Then, softening his tone like he had trained himself to, he said, “Look. You don’t even know the guy. He used to work in the alps. Only the AMERICAN health industry would take someone the rest of the world probably BANNED from practicing medicine.”

Goliath shook his head. "I know you feel the need to defend him because he shares your name, but you're a good guy, and he's... he's kind of a monster! I heard he used to have a nurse, before he refused to give the nurse a raise for all the shit he did." Goliath sighed and turned to the bartender. "Hey, can you get me and my friend here another beer? Just put it on my tab."

Larry was grateful for the drink. This conversation was going to be tough. Surely the alcohol would help him keep his mind straight. "Well, I don't know! You ever been a doctor? I bet it can't be easy."

“Okay, and have you? Because being a doctor requires years of training and schooling. How could you go through all that schooling and still fuck up? I went to him years ago for back problems and I swear he’s given me more injuries since then! I bet you his degree is fake.” Goliath sneered. “He’s lucky that I don’t box anymore. And look, you’re a nice guy for trying to defend him, but if you ever went to the guy? He’s nothing like you. He probably wouldn’t even defend you like you’re defending him.”

Goliath shook his head. "I know you feel the need to defend him because he shares your name, but you're a good guy, and he's... he's kind of a monster! I heard he used to have a nurse, before he refused to give the nurse a raise for all the shit he did." Goliath sighed and turned to the bartender. "Hey, can you get me and my friend here another beer? Just put it on my tab."

“That’s where you come in! I’m starting a second, smaller project called Go Fund Me! It’s were people go and fund me! Just for fun! For fund, if you will.”

Thomas Gutherie Swenk (whataname) looked down with a hint of shame coloring his green cheeks to the shade of a much redder grape. "Yer right, I'm sorry. I s'pose none of it was true. I just... I wanted to see ya again. Ever since you became this big famous actor, you never reply to my letters. It ain't fanmail. 'Sides, not like what I did was so bad, right? What's a little lie between friends?"

"I'm speaking in metaphors. But listen, if you stacked the entire medical board of health on top of each other... well, never mind, that's not the point. The point is, I just found out that DocLarry Insurance is a fake insurance company that I paid real money for, and it only covers being seen by you, Doctor Larry. And I'm beginning to question if I've been scammed. On the other hand, if you aren't a real, qualified doctor, and just some guy, I've been illegally taking drugs that you've just agreed to 'prescribe' me. So both of us might be in big trouble here."

"I thought we kinda had a thing goin on. Maybe." Jerry recounts. "But Mariah's dealing with a pretty bad headache so she might be confused and makin it up."

"No, we do kinda have a thing, but... like, why are we here? This isn't a date, is it? It's... it's a meet and greet with Santa."

"You...." Larry and his bucktooth both start tearing up. "You cheated on me?"

"...I, I think you have some... drool, there?" Goliath invisibly pointed to Larry's mouth. "You were booked for a year out! I kept calling and you were ignoring it! Should I have suffered for a year?! For loyalty?!"

"Got any secrets?"

Mom takes pause. So does Chewie. Neither of them can quite remember Mom's lore. "I... yes. To the kidnapping. It was.. you know, not the best time I've ever had. But now I'm in vegetable therapy - you know, like regular therapy, but for vegetables? Anyways, I'm doing much better."

"It's one of those things, if you don't mind me saying so, I prefer to... not talk about." She tries to explain as both she and I (Chewie) remembered what happened to her.

“I do understand, but like, where else would you like to take the direction of this conversation? Or would you like, rather end it? We could go on some whacky adventure together and become unlikely friends. Or this could be where the thread of our conversation ends. Totally up to you.”

"Got any secrets?"

Mom takes pause. So does Chewie. Neither of them can quite remember Mom's lore. "I... yes. To the kidnapping. It was.. you know, not the best time I've ever had. But now I'm in vegetable therapy - you know, like regular therapy, but for vegetables? Anyways, I'm doing much better."

"Got any secrets?"