let me be your star

That’s a real thing isn’t it? Oh, so kind of on that idea at least? I think it needs to be done, just think of all the other poor actresses who’ll have to suffer that bad kisser unless you say something! Or maybe one of the people with you could have, but you have first hand knowledge of just how bad he was.

Well I mean word gets around without the need to report it to a department of some kind. He just shouldn't try to be playing romantic leads at least not against me. I wish him all the luck though, especially if he kisses as badly as he does. He'll need it.

Possibly, but that’s still not right that you were forced into it to begin with. Oh does he? Better watch it Rach… he may decide to try and reenact the scene with you. You’re welcome, I’m glad you are. Yeah, I can’t say that I blame you there. I hope you taught the creep a lesson though.

Oh trust me, he's implied as much already. I didn't really do much of anything besides give a very uncomfortable face to the producers. That alone sort of nailed his coffin for him, so to speak. That'll be his lesson seeing as its clear he won't be getting the part.

Oh it’s cool, just uh yeah watch that word around me I get kinda weird about it, but it’s all good. Yeah it will, thank god but I’m still keeping it short cause it’s pretty awesome not having to spend ages towel drying my hair, it takes me like a second now to dry it, it’s great. I think you could pull it off, maybe.

Noted. I'll take better caution from now on, I promise. Ha! Me? Pull off blonde? That's incredibly sweet of you to say, Ryder, but its really not true. It doesn't really work with my skin tone. 

Listen up,

Despite that very graphic image you just gave us all, that's fantastic! You'll look fabulous, you always do. Yay!

You gotta admit, it’s a little funny to those who don’t go by the name of Rachel Berry. It really is only logical. I might be able to help out.

Oh really? Well isn't that just incredibly neighborly of you... 

Just checking, it’s not problem I knew this dude and he got violated so to say and it’s just a thing I guess or something. Oh yeah lots, I’ve been told I look like peroxide attacked JT, a backstreet boy and Eminem in his Slim Shady days so yeah, great fun.

Oh well that's not the type I meant though in retrospect, using a different choice of words would have been wiser so as not to worry you. Don't fret though, it just needs to fade a little. Everybody'll get used to it in a couple of days. At least you can pull off blonde better than I ever could so I'd say that's a plus.

Well…good. It’s about time I was the one getting apology cookies.

Yeah, yeah, laugh at my misfortune, why don't you. But you might be right about needing a good one to cancel this horrible one out. It's only logical.

You sure your okay? I mean that’s pretty like fucked up and violated is a strong word so yeah, just as long as your okay.

I always am, don't you fret. I appreciate your concern. So you're blonde. Tell me, are you having more fun now?

Thank goodness. I was hoping so, but you never know in this city. Yeah, I’ll never understand that at all; not that I’m an actress or anything, but how someone would still want to follow through— I’m sure they could tell by your expression it was a no go. I’m sorry. Are you feeling okay now? Been using lots of mouthwash?

I'm sure it was amusing to everybody else but me. Sam certainly seems to think so but I digress. Yes, thank you, I'm alright. I've already used about more than half of my new bottle of Listerine so that should tell you something.

Ohhhh. Okay, that makes a lot more sense to me now, but even so that sounds pretty unpleasant. Maybe not the cops, but can you report him to the acting police or something? A bad kisser is still pretty awful… people should be warned!

The acting police! Actually that's a good idea. I mean there's not an acting police per se but I can definitely spread the word. I might not have to though, I was in a room full of other people so they might have already done it for me.

He shoulda known by your smile. When you’re truly smiling your nose doubles in size. Not even the serial killer eyes were out in full force. Boy musta been dull as hell, sorry to hear it babe.

Very dull. I should just go back to Broadway. At least they're more professional.

Are you alright?

It just caught me off guard, but I swear I'm fine, Ryder. It was just incredibly awkward.

Annoy me all you want, as long as I get apology cookies the next day because of it.

Fine, fine. I'll bake them myself, nice, warm, gooey and very apologetic.

How exactly does a website ruin your life?

I was mostly kidding but now that I think about it, there are an awful lot of posts circling around over what excessive amounts of time on here does to a person. 

Oh God, fortunately it was. Some people just don't know how to take social cues. Just because the script says that's what the characters do, doesn't mean you actually go through with it in the first round of auditions.

Oh no, Finn. As uncomfortable and uncalled for as it was for this guy to kiss me, it was at an audition. It wasn't like he just grabbed me in the street and kissed me because if he had, you can bet I would have slapped him and called the cops.