Woah, what a place. Everything seems pretty nifty so far, overall. This is definitely more than I expected. Anyway, Lorelai Berry here, new student at McKinley Prep. I’m pretty excited to dive right in. Now, if anyone could be so kind as to point me towards the library and the cafeteria, I’d be set! Reading maps really isn’t my forte. 

Well slap my ass and call me a buttered biscuit, what the FUCK is up, kids? Can’t say I’m not kinda disappointed, I was expecting a nice big rave to celebrate my arrival. No worries though, because when you get right down to it, I am the motherfuckin party! Anyway, introductions are lame but they tell me it’s ‘required’ sooooooooooo, without further adieu, yo! The name is Two-Bit Mathews. Don’t matter if that’s what’s on the good ole’ Birth Cert or not, and it ain’t your business to ask. From what I hear, I’m the newest addition to Team Dalton, for the win! I ain’t great at these things, so I guess if I’ve missed some shit, we can spend the day playing a good, old-fashioned game of ‘Fill in the Blanks’. Or you could, ya know, just ask. Anywho-tin, tootin’ falootin’, I’ve gotta work on getting all this shit I brought with me shoved into some drawers or something. After that, if anyone wants to show me to the golden trough we’re supposed to gather at for feeding time, let me know! And for fuck’s sake, let me know who you are! I can’t make fun of you properly if I don’t know who ya are! I’m off, catch me on the flip-side if ya can!

Hi there! Introductions are a great place to start, so I’ll do just that. My name is Lorelai Reilly, and I wear a couple of different hats at Dalton. I am a licensed RN, and I do act as such in both the hospital wing and clinic. I also teach all sections of Human Anatomy at Dalton. Anyone interested in the class is welcome to ask any questions they may have! Or, alternately, if you’d just like to say hello, I wouldn’t mind at all! Working with you all will be a pleasure. I’m sure we’re all in for a great time together!

Well, after quite the day, I’m settling in to try and relax. I’ll be in a bundle, in bed, binge watching RuPaul’s Drag Race if anyone needs me. 

Seems like a quiet enough evening around here. The hospital wing is fairly deserted, so I’ve got plenty of time to myself. This campus really is beautiful, too. I’m very pleased with everything so far. 

I believe introductions are in order, My name is Nathaniel Weston, I am going to be the Introduction and Intermediate dominant professor, but don’t worry I wont assign homework on my first day, that cruel. I also will be starting an equestrian club, if you have an interest in horses and training them please let me know. I was raised in Montana, the real west in my opinion. I am going to be setting up office hours, but they’re primarily as requested and as needed. I prefer practical applications to our material so everything should be very clear cut and straight forward.

So it has come to my attention that I could stand to be a little more charitable and with that being said, I direct the following message to my fellow Socials of the female gender. Since kissing booths are totally played out and lowkey kind of gross I decided to take it a step further and offer myself up for up to two hours of my time for yours to enjoy. Whether it be an outrageously romantic dinner date or a dance lesson Madison, I want to show that I am here for you and only you. I will even sit and listen to you talk about your day if you want. Now you’re probably wondering where the charitable part comes in well look no further because here it is: my services are free of charge. Yes, that is correct. I will not be accepting any form of payment and not just because it would be borderline prostitution if I did, but also because it takes away from my goal to give back to the community. Once again this applies to only Social females because out of everyone, you deserve only the best.

Spending the weekend cleaning up after someone else’s mess was about as much fun as it sounds but I’m glad we were all able to come together and get the job done. I would, however, like to extend a message to the idiots person or persons responsible: vandalism is a crime punishable by law and considered a felony in most states. Think about that next time you feel the need to spray paint a school.