M

***

“Love, ‘m home!” She hears him set his keys in the bowl kept by the front door, then she hears his shoes tap on the ground as his footsteps grow closer. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous. They had talked about kids many times, kids being something both of them want in their lives. She often looked out the kitchen window that overlooked their back yard, day dreaming about two little kids running around the garden and giggling as Harry chased them around. He even told her about some day dreams of his own. Told her how he couldn’t wait till they had a baby and how he hoped their children were just like her.

So she wasn’t sure why she was nervous. But she overthinks a lot. So she started thinking about the what if’s. What if he doesn’t want kids anymore? What if he only wants to focus on music? What if he leaves? What if-

“Lovie, what are you thinking about?” He questioned softly as he sat down in front of her on the coffee table, noticing how deep in thought she was, and also noticing how nervous she was which made him nervous as well.

She jumped lightly and looked at him, a small smile forming on her lips before she looked down again. He grabbed her hands, hoping to bring her comfort. She slowly looked up at him before looking at the tv that played her favorite childhood movie.

“I always loved this movie when I was a kid, was m’favorite,” he turned around and looked at the movie, smiling when he saw what is was and remembering all the pictures your mum showed him with you dressed up as the main character. “I wonder what our babies favorite movie will be.” She whispered, reaching under and a pillow and pulling out the test. Harry didn’t notice her movements because he was still looking into her eyes, trying to process what she just said. His eyes were bright, and wide. Excitement filling them. Her eyes glossed over when she saw how happy he was.

“Your- your?” She nodded, handing him the test. A smile is on both of their faces, a tear dropping down her cheek and he is quick to wipe it off. Suddenly he quickly hovers over her while quickly laying her down. He begins pressing kisses all over he face before she can even blink and the sensation makes her giggle. “We’re gonna be parents, lovie.” He whispers after finally pressing a kiss on her lips. She laughs lightly through her tears. She was ecstatic to see him so happy. All her nerves washed away when she saw the look in his eyes eyes. He kisses her on the lips once more, this time lingering longer before he moves down to rest over her stomach, pulling her shirt up to expose her skin, even though he knows she isn’t showing yet.

“What are you doing?” She giggles, feeling his lips leave kisses all over her skin.

“‘M bout to have a conversation with our child.” He says, trying to be serious but failing when she feels him smile against her skin. “‘Lo little one, daddy is so very excited right now because your mum just told me the best news. ‘M very excited to meet you, we have awhile to wait, yeah? So ‘m gonna probably annoy your mumma and you with how much I will be talking to yeh for the next nine months.” Y/n giggles and runs her fingers through his hair, shaking her head at him.

***

“Tha’ was a great day.” She agrees and pulls her feet off his lap, moving to give him a kiss. He hums from the feeling and Anne’s playlist starts to play loudly from the kitchen as she bakes cookies, kicking y/n and Harry out, saying they need all the relaxing they can get before her grand baby gets here.

Harry pulls back from the kiss and stands, holding his hand out to her. She had an eyebrow raised as she smiles at him, knowing his intentions.

“Dance with me?” He questions, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Would love to Mr.Styles, but your gonna have to give me your other hand if you want me to stand, baby Styles is getting big.” He chuckles and helps her out of the seat, remembering the times she would whine when she couldn’t get off the couch and would have her lip in a pout when she asked him for help.

Harry guides her down the stairs, making sure she doesn’t somehow slip. Once they land on the grass y/n sighs. Her toes curl into the earth, and she smiles lightly, the feeling of grass between her toes making her feel like a little kid again.

Once they stop in the grass Harry’s arms goes around her waist, his hands resting on her hips. Her arms goes around his neck and she lays her head on his chest, her round bump pressed against Harry’s chest. Harry starts humming as he sways them from side to side, the sweet voice of Etta James flowing through the open windows. Y/n chuckles when she feels a kick against her, their daughter excited to hear her dad.

“I’m gonna miss feeling her kicks when she’s here.” Harry whispers, the moment feeling to blissful to speak anymore than a whisper. His right hand moves to rest on her bump, rubbing circles on her round stomach and feeling the light kicks. His head rests on her forehead when she moves hers to look down at her stomach.

“They do hurt sometimes, but I think I will too.” She admits at the same volume of Harry. “I remember the first time she kicked. We were at your last show and I was off to the side of the stage. I was just watching you sing and all the sudden I felt her kick. I thought I was going into labor!” Harry chuckles lightly, remembering the day well and how concerned he was to see her with her hand on her stomach, a concentrated and confused look on her stomach.

“Wha’s wrong love?” He questions, walking up to her quickly. She looks up at him and starts to smile at him.

“I think she just kicked!” She says cheerfully, wiping his worries away.

“No way!” He says, his mouth open a little bit in excitement and shock. She quickly puts his hand on her stomach, Harry’s mouth dropping more when he feels her kick. Harry’s band joins them and he tells them the news. A few of them feeling the kicks, Sarah telling y/n how excited she is.

“Can’t believe she’s gonna be ‘ere soon. I already don’t wan her to grow up and she’s not even ‘ere yet.” Harry pouts making y/n shake her head and smile at him.

“Your gonna go crazy when she has her first crush.” Harry gets a look of distaste on his face, shaking his head.

“Don’t wanna even think abou’ tha’.” He says lowly, shaking his head. Y/n laughs at him and kisses his cheek. They continue to sway for a little bit, reminiscing memories from over the years. The crickets aren’t to loud, and the late summer day breeze cools their skin. They are laughing when y/n gasps all of the sudden. Her hands move from around his neck to the underside of her stomach. Her face scrunches in pain and Harry’s face drops, looking concerned.

“H, my water just broke.” She says, not sounding too concerned.

“Shit, ok, ‘s alright love. The bags are all in the car. Are you sure you haven’t peed yourself?” He questions, wanting to make sure it is actually go time before her gets even more nervous.

“Yes I’m sure I haven’t peed myself.” She grumbles, shaking her head lightly.

“Let’s go inside and grab your shoes so we can go and meet our daughter, love.” she nods and he moves to help her walk the short distance before he speaks up again.

“I need to change out of my dress first. ‘M not sitting in your car in a wet dress.” He nods and they open the back door. Anne looks over and smiles at them before her face drops when she realizes what’s happening.

“Oh my gosh, ‘s really happenin’!” Harry gives her a nervous smile, as well as y/n before she squeezes Harry’s hand and whimpers quietly.

“We gotta go. I’ll call you soon!” Harry promises, ushering y/n into the guest bedroom downstairs. He refused to let her walk up the stairs to get to his childhood bedroom, telling her if he didn’t want her doing it at home nothing is changing here. She rolled her eyes at his protectiveness but is silently thanking him now since she doesn’t have to go upstairs to change.

Once they get into their room he quickly goes over to their luggage, asking her what she wants.

“One of your shirts, underwear, and leggings please.” He nods and digs the items out of their bags. Once he has it all he helps her get out of her dress and underwear. He slides his old dreamboat shirt over her. Then he leans down and helps her step into her underwear then her maternity leggings. She has a few contractions during the process, hissing and holding Harry tighter as he talks her through it. She thanks him with a kiss before pulling back.

“Let’s go do this Mrs. Styles.” She smiles and nods, following Harry as he helps her out of the room and to the car. Harry speeds as carefully as he can to get them their faster. He has his hand in hers, running his thumb over her skin comfortingly.

“It didn’t hurt that much at first, but ‘s definitely starting too.” She admits, throwing her head back with closed eyes when she gets a strong contracting.

“‘M sorry sweetheart, I wish I could take the pain from you.” He hates seeing her in pain, but he especially hates when their is nothing he can do to help her.

He pulls into the hospitals car park, driving up to the emergency lane. He parks his car and shuts it off, not caring it’s in the way at the moment. Someone can move it. His main concern is his wife who is having another painful contraction, now two minutes apart.

“‘S alright, pet. Breathe with me.” He inhales deeply and she follows. He breathes out and her eyes flutter closed as she repeats his actions, feeling the tiniest bit better after her contraction.

Helps her out of the car and into the hospital, telling the nurse. She gets them a wheelchair and wheels y/n to a small room. She checks her vitals, asks a few questions, and hooks her up to a few machines after y/n changes into a gown, before leaving the two, soon to be three. She tells them the doctor will be in shortly, and true to her word their doctor walks in with a smile on her face.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs.Styles.” She greets before washing her hands. Her and Harry reply back before she starts speaking again. “I’m going to check your dilation and we’ll see if you guys are gonna be parents today. You may feel some discomfort.” Y/n nods at her and Harry distracts her as Dr.Anderson checks y/n. Once Dr.Anderson is done she looks up at them with a smile.

“We’re going to move you up to your room soon Mrs.Styles, you are six centimeters dilated.” Their smiles widen impossibly more when it’s confirmed that this is for real this time and not like when she hair Braxton hicks a few weeks ago.

Suddenly a few nurses come in and explain to her what they are doing as they prepare to move her. She gets an IV in before harry helps her stand, she holds onto him and has the IV drip stand in her right hand as she walks. The nurse stops in front of the door and opens it for them.

Their is a couch on the wall straight ahead, a floor to ceiling window making up most of the wall that overlooks the city. The clear bassinet is next to the bigger one for when she arrives. A bathroom is on the left as soon as you walk in. When you walk in further you see the bed.

Harry helps her into the bed They put a band around her stomach that tracks the baby’s vitals and her contractions. Once the last nurse has left after coming back with ice chips for y/n, and fuzzy socks on her feet, Harry crawls into the uncomfortable hospital bed next to her. She puts her head on his shoulder, his cheek laying on top of her head, and his arm goes around to rest on her bump.

“I text mum and asked her to call your parents for us, she said they would be here soon. Gemma should be up here soon, she moved my car fo’ me and got our bags.” Y/n nods and yawns, already tired from the day and the pain she feels every two or three minutes. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep now, I’ll move to the chair.” She shakes her head at him, not letting him stand up.

“Don’t go, I don’t want you to move.” He kisses her forehead before he readjusts in the bed, and makes sure she is comfy. His fingers comb through her hair. She puts her hands on her bump, her eyes fluttering closed. She has one more painful contraction before she falls asleep, she’s thankful for the medication she got for her contractions or else she doesn’t think she would’ve fallen asleep.

Harry smiles when he hears her snore lightly into his neck, he moved the bed back per her requests so she could have her arm around his stomach and her face in his neck, her favorite sleeping position. His fingers rub into her back to try and help soothe some of her back pain she always pouted at Harry about. While she sleeps he quickly texts his bandmates and updates them. Not long after he puts his phone up and refocuses on whatever movie was playing on the TV, he hears a knock before Gemma comes into view, smiling at him.

“Hi, Gem.” He says quietly a she looks at y/n, noticing she is sleeping. She sits in the chair next to the bed before answering him.

“Hey, H. How is she?” She questions, looking at y/n again and smiling at how she has fallen asleep.

“Tired, but good. Hoping she’s here soon so she’s not in pain much longer.” Harry doesn’t take his eyes off of y/n as he speaks, watching her face for any signs of discomfort.

“Can’t wait for her to be here so I can finally be an aunt.” Harry smiles and looks at her.

“Can’t wait for her to be here so I can finally be a dad.” They talk for awhile longer, Anne and y/n’s parents joining them, Harry’s dad waiting till she arrives to come since he lives further away. Y/n wakes up an hour later and joins the conversation. They all leave not long after she wakes up, y/n’s pain rising and the night passing by quickly. Gemma reminds Harry to call her once she’s almost here a million times so he will remember and she hugs y/n and wishes her good luck with a kiss on her cheek before leaving, everyone else doing the same. Y/n’s mom gives her extra hugs and cheek kisses, hugging her ‘little girl’ with teary eyes.

After they leave y/n stands from the bed, wanting to walk around the room and go on the yoga ball for a little bit to hopefully speed it up some. A few hours pass of her rotating between bouncing on the ball and walking around the room. Now her cheek is resting against Harry’s chest, listening to his calming heart beat as he sways them back and forth, rubbing her back to alleviate some pain. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail to help cool her off and get her hair out of her face. Their swaying reminds her of earlier in the night when they were at Anne’s doing the same thing. Y/n feels a pressure in her lower region and it makes her groan into Harry’s chest.

“I need to start pushing Harry, like ASAP.” She tells him making him freeze for a second before he is nodding and helping her sit back down on the bed. She pushes the call button and a nurse comes in. Y/n informs her of what she is feeling and the nurse pages the doctor. Her dr comes in and asks her a few questions while washing her hands and putting gloves on before she checks her dilation once more.

“Your ten centimeters now, y/n. It’s time to start pushing.” She tells her, smiling at her comfortingly seeing how nervous she got. More nurses come in and start to get the bed ready, the babies bed ready, and the other things needed. While they do so the couple pays no mind to what’s going on around them. Harry has her hand in his, kissing her knuckles as his eyes get glossy.

“Your gonna do so good, love. ‘M right here, you can squeeze m’hand as much as yeh want.” She chuckles and smiles at him before leaving a quick kiss to his lips before Dr.Anderson instructs her to move her legs to the stirrups. She does as said and notices all the nurses in place for her to start pushing.

“Whenever you’re ready, y/n.” Her doctor tells her. Y/n takes a deep breathe before telling her she is ready. “On the count of three I want you to start pushing, alright?” She nods and listens as she counts down before she starts to push. Harry is instructed to hold her leg and he does so, y/n crushes his hand as she pushes, but Harry says nothing and encourages her. She falls back when she’s done, her chest rising and falling faster. She continues to push and her face gets more sweaty as her lower region feels like it’s on fire. She starts to fuss at Harry for touching her, and getting her pregnant.

“You’re a prick, you know that?” She tells him, only so they can hear. “‘M not letting you knock me up again. This shit hurts.” Harry chuckles at her and kisses her sweaty forehead.

“Well see about that sweetheart, your to irresistible, and I love seeing you pregnant.” She huffs and rolls her eyes, going back to pushing.

“One more y/n, I can see the head.” With Dr.Andersons words y/n feels the overwhelming urge to cry knowing with just one more push her baby will finally be here after almost nine month.

“Hear that, love? You’re gonna be a mum soon.” He smiles at her with teary eyes as the arrival of their daughter comes closer. Her eyes are glossy as well as she looks at him, his hand rubs her hair off her sweaty forehead. “One more, tha’s it, babe, then little lovie is here. You got this. Put all your anger that you have towards me for getting yeh knocked up and making you feel this pain and push, baby. Break m’fuckin’ hand.” He whispers in her ear, encouraging her. She nods at him and that seems to give her the motivation she needs as she pushes one more time.

It feels like it happens in slow motion when their precious little girls cries pierce the air for the first time after Harry cuts her umbilical cord while staring at her in awe. Her little lungs giving all the got as she cry’s before laying on y/n’s, now bare chest due to her gown being rolled down, as the nurses clean her. Y/n cries as she looks at her little girl, greeting her as she stares at her mum with wide eyes and resting her index finger on her little chin before she looks at Harry.

“You’re a dad now, H.” She tells him with a broken voice as her emotions flow over her like a tsunami. He smashes his lips against hers quickly, the tears on his cheeks mixing with hers, before he looks back at his daughter, moving his hand to grab her tiny fist. She grasps on to his finger and at the moment he was sure he was done for. His heart had never felt so full, he couldn’t be more in love with his little family. His little love looks at him with wide eyes as she blinks slowly, her eyes a blue green color.

“Scarlett Renee Styles.” Harry whispers with a smile on his face. “She’s got quite a bit of hair, ay?” Y/n nods and hums in agreement.

“She better, I had too much heartburn for her not to.” She laughs lightly, neither of their gazes leaving their little bundle of joy.

The nurse takes her from y/n to clean her up while y/n does. Harry kisses y/n’s forehead once more and whispers ‘I love you’ before following the nurse that his his world in her hands.

She lays her down in the bassinet and wipes her off some more. She then puts a diaper on her before she listens to her heartbeat, takes her weight, and measure her. She cries as the nurse does this and Harry frowns, wanting to pick her up and protect her from the nurse. He makes sure to take some photos.

Once she is swaddled and warm, a baby pink hat on her head, the nurse picks her up and hands her to Harry. Harry nervously takes her and when she is rested in his arms he feels like he could melt.

“‘S alright little lovie, Daddys right here.” He whispers to her, walking her over to y/n whom is talking to Dr.Anderson now that she is done cleaning her up. She talks to her about feeding and Harry frowns when he hears he has to give Scarlett to y/n to feed, he wants to hold her forever.

But he giver his little girl over and y/n coos at her when she’s in her arms, moving her gown off her shoulder again. Dr.Anderson guides her through it and soon Scarlett is having her first feed. The dr leaves soon after, making sure they are set for a bit. Harry sits next to y/n, watching Scarlett as she feeds and having not listened to anything Dr.Anderson has said, too entranced by his daughter as she watches her mom with wide eyes, recognizing her voice as she talks.

“We make pretty cute babies.” Harry says as y/n leans back to get comfortable. She hums in agreement and keeps her eyes on her little one, her index fingers caressing her small and soft cheek. “You sure you don’t want more love?”

“Maybe a few.” She whispers and Harry chuckles.

“Though’ you didn’t want anymo’?” Harry questions knowingly and teasingly. Y/n rolls her eyes playfully and flicks him making him yelp. “‘S not very nice to tease yeh husband, and now baby daddy, babe.” He pouts.

“Didn’t know I had two babies.” Harry huffs and she chuckles while patting his cheek. Once Scarlett is done feeding Harry leaves the room to get everyone from the waiting room. They stand up quickly and he smiles at them.

“‘S a girl.” They all cheer, congratulating him, and hugging him quickly before hurrying to go see the little one. Once they enter the room the girls gasp when they see y/n and baby Scar on her chest, unswaddled now but the blanket still covers her. She has pantone pink legless sleeper on, with matching socks and hat, white mittens on her hands. She lays on y/n’s chest, right over her heart, asleep. Harry moves back to his spot next to y/n, watching her swaddle Scarlett and answers their questions. Anne holds Scarlett first, looking down at her with glossy eyes.

Y/n leans back on Harry’s chest, his arm going around her, now empty, stomach. They all compliment her as each get their turn to hold her. The new parents watch with tired smiles on their faces as they admire her. Y/n turns and looks at him, noticing him pouting as he looks at them. He grumbles when Scarlett gets passed to Gemma, Gemma gladly taking her with a smile on her face.

“Was wrong, h?” Y/n questions, already knowing the look on his face.

“Want m’baby back.” He grumbles, his gaze never leaving Scarlett. She chuckles and pats his cheek lightly as he looks at her.

“We have our how life with her, bubs. ‘S ok.” He lets out a large breath and looks back at his daughter quickly before looking at y/n.

“‘S not enough time still.” She smiles up at him fondly and kisses her cheek before turning to look at her mom who starts telling Harry how much she looks like him.

“Can’t believe my baby has a baby.” Anne whispers to Harry as she hugs him goodbye. Y/n’s parents and Gemma left a few minutes ago and now Anne is saying her goodbyes. After she hugs Harry she moves over to y/n.

“So proud of you sweetheart, thank your for everything you have done for my son.” They talk for a few more minutes and kisses their heads once more before leaving.

Y/n falls asleep shortly after Harry turns the lights off and plays one of their favorite movies. Scarlett hasn’t left the comfort of his arms since he got her back from everyone.

Harry sits on the couch with Scarlett in his arms. He admires her in the golden glow the rising sun is casting throw the sheer curtains.

“Yer daddy’s little princess, ya know that? I’d do anything for you. Yer the pretties girl ‘ve ever seen, your mum tying with you. ‘M so proud of your mum. She’s so strong, I know daddy couldn’t do that.” She seems to find his words funny as her lips twitch into a small smile. “‘M gonna protect you, love you, and teach you everything you need to know. I already love you s’much, and I know yer mum does too. May even love you more than me, but that’s ok, I don’t blame her.” He smiles down at her, his eyes dropping more and more so he puts her in her bassinet. Wheeling her close to the bed before he climbs in next to y/n. Her head lays on his chest and her arm goes around his stomach.

“I love you so much, thank you for give me a family, lovie.” He whispers, kissing her temple. She smiles sleepily against his chest.

Everyday he gets up around eight, goes to the cafe down the street and gets his usual, looking at the vinyls while waiting for his order. Once done he sits in his usual spot, pulling out a book and reading while eating, or writing in his journal. Then he walks around, going to different markets. 

He’s found himself in the studio a few times as well, and he hangs out with friends as much as possible, creating new ones on the way. 

But he still feels lonely. 

He’s around his friends majority of the afternoon and into the night, then he comes back to his temporary residence and goes to bed lonely. No one to talk to about his day out, the things he saw, the new ideas for songs, and no one for him to experience his trip with him c

He often finds himself daydreaming about y/n. When he goes out and finds romantic spots he wonders if she would like it, or when he tries anything new he wonders if she would try it. He’ll find jewelry he thinks would look amazing for her. He even picked up a little ring for her. 

 He just misses her. 

But he’s been ignoring her. He didn’t tell her he had left the country. He only told his mum and Jeff. He’s not sure why he didn’t tell her. It’s supposed to go back to how it was right? 

Wrong 

The feelings are still there, hell, Harry even thinks they are deeper now. He still loves her with all his heart. He has no resentment for her because she was the one who broke it off. He knows why she did it. For him, and for her. 

He may have been gone from the house more often that not, but he saw the sadness in her face. She didn’t sleep with a calm face anymore, with her mouth slightly open, and no creases in her forehead. Now she slept with a frown on her face and her forehead creased, looking upset in her sleep even. 

He was hurting her and it hurt him even more to know that. 

She’s his everything. Yet he was the one person dragging her down. Making her sad, and making her question her worth. 

He couldn’t do it anymore. He doesn’t want to ignore her anymore to try and get rid of his feelings for her, he can’t. He physically can’t. He will always love her. No matter what. He’s not whole without her. 

He just hopes she feels the same. 

“Harry?” She questions, her voice sounding croaky. 

“‘Lo love.” He’s scared of what she might say. Is she mad at him for not answering her messages and calls? Should he tell her why he did that? She he just tell her how he feels? It would be easier on the phone, but he feels like it’s not the right way to go about things. 

“I thought you fell off the face of the earth you dickhead!” She exclaims loudly with a small laugh coming from her.  He feels better at the sounds of her laugh, his worries lessened as he smiles and almost laughs with her. 

“Sorry, I just-“ he pauses, the playful mood gone by the low adverb of his voice. “I just thought it was better fo’yeh, t’give ya space. I know yeh said you needed to break it off because I needed to get better first, but I know I hurt you too. An’ ‘m so fuckin’ sorry.” His voice becomes brittle as he lets his emotions loose. 

“Harry,” she cuts in when she notices the sound of his voice. She knows his eyes are watery, his head is tossed back, staring up, trying not to cry. “There is no need to apologize. I get it. But yes, you did hurt me. But it wasn’t because of that. It’s not that you hurt me, it just hurt watching you change into someone I didn’t know, someone I didn’t want to be around because it resulted in arguing. You were-are my everything, H.” It goes silent between the two for a moment, Harry thinking about her words and letting them soak in. “Listen H, I know I also hurt you by leaving you and I need to apologize for that. I just-“ she gets cut off by a voice Harry can’t make out in the background. He faintly hears other people in the background and he wonders where she is. “I gotta go, but I’ll call you later. Hope your having fun in Japan, bub. Always knew you wanted to visit there again.” He smiles and stands from his bed, but is still wondering what else she wanted to say. 

“I’ll see you when I get back, i miss yeh and our movie nights.” She smiles as he speaks, and reminisces on some of their movie nights. “Wish yeh were here with me. I know you would love it.” He looks out the window and looks down at the bustling streets of Japan. 

“I miss you too. But I’m sure I would. Make sure to send me some photos you have took so far.” Her words send Harry into a realization. 

He hasn’t taken any photos 

“I would send yeh some, if I took any.” He heard her gasp on the other line. Already knowing she is gonna scold him for not taking photos. She took photos anywhere they went. She didn’t take an overload, just enough to capture their favorite moments for them to look back on. 

“Harry! How have you not taken any? Oh wait, I’m sorry H, I really have to go now. Bye, love you!” The line goes dead and he ponders over her last sentence for a minute before blinking out of his trance. Did she mean it in a friendly way? Or did she mean it in the way he dreams about? 

He shakes the thoughts away and sets his phone on his bed. When he stands back up to full height he stretches and yawns before crawling back into bed. 

***

Harry was writing on his bed with his guitar in his lap when he heard three delicate knocks on his door. His head raised in curiosity when the first knock sounded, his pen stopping on the paper. His hair was tied with a scrunchie in his hair. A black cardigan covering his white shirt, grey sweatpants on his lower half. 

He shuffled to the door before he unlocked it and opened it a sliver since his door didn’t have a peep hole. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in surprise. 

“Hi.” He opens the door all the way and lets the surprise guest in. “Ok so before you start asking me questions or potentially yelling at me for ruining a solo trip. I have to explain. I found out where you were from Jeff because I went to your house and you weren’t there and I was worried because all your cars were in the garage,” she takes a breath, her words coming out fast and jumbled, “but anyways, then he started telling me some things that you had been saying I just knew I had to come see you because I felt the same way and I just, I felt like I needed to see you, and now that I’m here I feel whole again and-and I love you.” Her eyes go wide and her hand covers her mouth. “Oh my god, I wasn’t supposed to say all of that. I was supposed to tell you later and now I probably-“ Harry walks up to her quickly and stops her rambling by kissing her. Both of them melt into the kiss, and his hand rest are on her back as she arches into him. 

Their lips melt into each other’s with no movements. Just letting the feeling of their lips meeting again being enough for them. Reluctantly, Harry pulls back slowly but remains close to her. His forehead rests on hers lightly, their noses bump, and their lips brush lightly. 

“I love you too.” He pulls his head back and moves his hands down further and grab under her thighs, hoisting her up so her legs wrap around her waist and her arms go around his neck as she giggles. “An’ I’ve missed yeh so damn much and love you too damn much to ever be mad at yeh fo’crashing m’trip. ‘M actually happy yer here. Could never be mad at ya, unless ya leave yeh shoes in front of the door for me to trip on.” She throws her head back with a groan and rolls her eyes before looking back at him. 

“It was one,” he narrows his eyes at her and she bites back a smile. “Ok three times! But to be fair I had just come back from the studio and was too tired to go upstairs so I kicked off my shoes and crashed on the couch. You know how exhausting the studio is!” 

“I could’ve tripped and hit m’head on the table!” His dramatics make her laugh, throwing her head back at the memory of the third time it happened. 

***

Her and Harry had just come back home from the bar. Their hands were all over each other as soon as they got in the car. Once they got home Harry made sure to tip the Uber driver before rushing into the house with a giggling y/n holding his hand, laughing at how eager he was. 

They both had a good amount to drink, but they weren’t drunk. Harry had a little more than y/n so he stumbled a bit more in his steps, and his words were a tad bit more slurred than hers.

“Bloody key! Can’t get it in the fuckin’ hole!” He grumbles as he shoves the key in the key hole. Y/n giggles beside him and she seems a smile twitching on his lips before they both break out laughing when she says ‘that’s what she said.’ 

Once the key is finally in and the door is unlocked her laughter stops when his arm goes around her waist to pull her in as his lips crash against hers. 

Harry’s downfall is that he is walking backwards and he is as clumsy as a one year old, and he is a little drunk. So when he barley trips over one of y/n’s vans it sends him falling to the ground, a squeal being let out of her mouth as he crashes on the entryway floor. Luckily y/n acted fast enough and moved her hands from his hair to the back of his head to soften the blow. 

“Fuck.” They both say at the same time, making them chuckle. She feels around his head to make sure he didn’t hit it on anything and is bleeding. 

“You ok, H?” She questions softly, he smiles as he scans over her, making sure she didn’t somehow get hurt. 

“‘M ok, how bout you, pet?” She shrugs her shoulders and presses a kiss to his jaw. 

“I’m ok, a little hungry though.” He chuckles before rolling her over so she is underneath him. 

“Who needs a bed anyways?” He questions while slipping her pants off. She rolls her eyes playfully and pulls his head down so their lips crash back together. 

***

Once Harry got y/n’s bag in the room after letting her down, he found her looking at the view from his window. 

“Pretty, innit?” He questions, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her stomach, his chin resting on her shoulder. She hums as he lays a kiss on her neck. He leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses up to her jaw before sucking on her smooth skin to leave a mark. Her hand goes to his hair and she moves her neck to give him more access. “Let me show you how much I missed you.” She nods her head and his hand trails down to her pants, unbuckling the few buttons. His fingers trace above her underwear before he goes lower and feels the patch of arousal on her underwear. 

“S’ this all fo’ me, hmm princess?” She whimpers at his words and tugs on his hair more when he leaves another mark on her. 

“Missed you so much.” She breathes out when he finally gives her what she wants. She moans when his fingers hit her spot. 

“Missed you too,” he pulls his fingers out and spins her around with his arm that was still on her waist. “S’much.” 

The rest of the night is spent underneath the sheets. They talk about everything, from how writing is going for both of them, what Harry has done in Japan, etc.  She laid on his chest and traced his butterfly tattoo, listening to the calming beats of his heart and the lull of his voice. He was tracing up and down her bare spine, finding it calming as she spoke. 

They both missed moments like this so much. Moments of pure bliss. Where it feels like it’s just the two of them in the world and time has frozen. The sound of the busy Tokyo streets below disappear as they listen to each other talk and his heartbeat rings in her ear. She swears she’s never felt so content and happy, and she swears her heart is so full it could burst. 

He feels the same way as he ponders when it goes quiet and her breathing evens out, the jet lag getting to her. He thinks about words that could describe how he feels, or just love in general. But he realizes love is indescribable. 

No matter how hard you try, how many words there are in the dictionary, none of them seem to do how it feels to be in love justice. 

So when Harry feels his eyes start to droop he carefully lays down more, kissing the top of her head that’s in the crook of his neck. He studies her face and he falls in love with her more just looking at her. The way her eyelashes are rested delicately on her cheeks. The freckles that are scattered across the bridge of her nose and the top of her cheeks. If someone would let him he would talk for hours about every little thing he loves about her. 

“I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” He whispers against her hair, leaving one final kiss before shutting off the lamp and closing his eyes. 

***

Harry wakes the next morning to kisses being peppered all over his face. His eyes blink open slowly and y/n smiles at the adorable pout his laps have formed into. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” She smiles at him, straddling his hips. He notices she has clothes on now, underwear and one of his tee shirts. 

“Morning.” He replies, his voice lower and raspier from sleeping. He yawns while rubbing his eyes and y/n smiles at him. She runs her fingers through his growing and messy hair. “What do ya want t’do today, love?” He questions, his arms wrapping around her back when she lays on his chest, and his chin resting on top of her head. 

“Whatever you want. I don’t really know my way around her so maybe you can show me some cool spots?” Her voice is soft when she speaks as she looks out the window to the bustling city below. “I have to shower first though. Don’t want to smell.” 

“You already do, petal.” He tries to hold back his laughs but he snickers when she tells him to fuck off. His hands travel lower to her bottom and he gropes her bum a few times. “We could always take a shower together? Save water an’ allat.” 

“Mmhmm, gotta help the planet right.” He smirks and slaps her bum before moving to get up. 

After they both got ready for the day, Harry putting on a white shirt and white trousers with a green cardigan, they left the hotel and started exploring. Harry took her to his usual places, her favorite being the cafe. She fell in love with the walls filled with vinyls and she loved the food and drinks there more. Her and Harry ended up writing for an hour or two in the small cafe before leaving. 

After they left Harry took her to the place he had been recording music. He was booked in for a few hours and she didn’t mind sitting and watching. She loved going to the studios and he loved when she came with him. She gave him good input and helped him figure out lyrics and runs. 

But how is he supposed to tell her his whole album is about her? 

It’s about 75% done, once he gets back to LA he should almost be done before he goes back to London. 

She made sure to take some pictures of him for memories. Her mom always made her take many photos as a kid that she hated taking, but she loves looking back on them. She has about four photo books filled with pictures from her whole life. Harry often likes to whip out the baby book when his friends come over so he can show him. Saying ‘look how she cute is,’ and before they go to bed he tells her his dreams of having a few kids with her and getting married. She often daydreams of those days. 

Daydreams about how it would feel walking down the aisle and seeing Harry at the end, watching and waiting for her before they finally tie the knot. She wonders what their kids would look like, probably getting Harry’s eyes with a hint of hers in them, hoping they get his curly brown hair. Would they want to sing too? Or would they rather play a sport, paint, or even be the next president? 

“Love?” She snaps out of her trance and looks up from her phone to see Harry smiling down at her. “Watcha thinkin’ about?” He questions, squatting down and resting his arms on her legs. 

“You.” She smiles as a light blush forms on her face and Harry chuckles at her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Did you finish?” She questions, and Harry nods.

“Yeah actually, just had to do some background vocals.” She smiles brightly at him and clasps her hands in front of her chest in excitement. 

“I’m so excited to hear it! I already know it’s gonna be great! But I think I might wait to hear it, so don’t show me it yet!” He chuckles at her and shakes his head, helping her stand.

“Whatever yeh say doll.” He takes her around a few more places. She meets his friends and they all quickly get to know each other, y/n getting on with them well. They make dinner plans and Harry takes y/n to a bike rental shop so he can show her more before they have dinner. 

They ride bikes around, the cool breeze cools them off as they go down a hill and y/n sticks her feet out, laughing at how fast she is going.

“Look H,” she cheers, getting closer to him. He turns his head and smiles as he shakes her head at her. “slow poke.” She sticks her tongue out at him playfully and he scoffs, speeding up some before sticking his legs out. But he wobbles a little bit so he quickly sticks his feet back on the petal and she laughs at him making him shake his head.

“”S not funny.” He tells her while laughing at himself because of her.

“It’s so funny H, that’s why you are laughing too!” He rolls his eyes and walks up to her after they put their bikes on the rack. His arms wrap around her and she moves hers to go around his neck and she messes with his curls. He pouts at her and she tries to stop her laughs, shaking her head. “You’re right, “s not funny. But it is funny that you have the balance and are as clumsy as a one year old.”

The evening finishes and they say their goodbyes to the group before walking back to the hotel. Their hands are intertwined and they sway them back and forth as they walk. She points out some things here and there, and she tells Harry about some new music when he asks. 

When they get back to the hotel y/n crashes on the bed as soon as she gets in, letting out a groan. 

“H,” Harry hums and looks up at her for a second as he takes his shoes off. “I love you.” He smiles to himself and walks over to her, taking her shoes off for her. 

“I love you too, s’much.” He massages her feet making her groan in satisfaction. “Are you too tired for a bath?” He questions making her head pop up. 

“‘M never too tired for a bath! That sounds so nice right now, this jet lag is still kicking my butt.” She sits up and presses a kiss to his lips when she sees him pucker them. 

“I’ll go start it, I even have bubble bath soap that smells like vanilla, isn’t that cool?!” He gets excited when he tells her about the soap, and she smiles at his excitement. 

Once the bath is done and the bottle of wine is open they get into the tub. She gets in in front of him so her back is resting against her chest. The bubbles are almost spilling out but when she looks at Harry she seems him smiling against his wine glass as he picks up some bubbles. 

“Harry?” She questions after a few minutes of silence, the only thing being heard is music coming from Harry’s phone. “I wasn’t dating anyone when we were on a break. I didn’t do anything with anyone. And I-I know your thought I was dating Austin. But he’s just my producer. I couldn’t do that to you, and plus, he’s not into girls anyways.” Harry feels better at her words, but he is still confused why she brought it up. She nervously fiddles with his fingers since his rings aren’t on. “I also couldn’t to myself, because the only person I want is you. It's always been you, H. And I know that we weren’t together for a few months, but my feelings never changed, and I still love you as much and more as I did the first time I met you.” She turns around after putting her wine glass down on the side of the tub, his hands go to her hips as she moves to straddle him. She messes with his necklace before he puts his thumb under her chin to make her look at him. 

“‘M sorry I was such a dick to yeh about him. I let my jealousy get to me. So ‘m sorry for being a prick. But my feelings never changed either love. You’re it for me, y/n. You’re m’ best friend, m’lover, and you are insanely talented,” He presses a kiss to her lips, “an’ smart,” another kiss, “an beautiful,” another one, “you are compassionate, you are witty, and sarcastic, and so much more to me. You are my world, pet.” She blinks her tears away and awwes.

“That was incredibly cheesy but so sweet, H.” She chuckles, Harry wiping a stray tear from her cheek. He moves his arms around her back to pull her in closer, but before he kisses her they both whisper “I love you” at the same time making them breathlessly laugh. “We always do that.” He hums in agreement before finally pressing his lips to hers. When he pulls back he looks at her with a nervous gaze.

“Do you still think about our future a lot?” He questions quietly while scanning her face.

“All the time, why?” He smiles at her answer and shrugs.

“Cuz I do the same. Can’t wait to put a ring on your pretty finger, then see you walk down the aisle, then call you Mrs.Styles,if that’s what you want, and our honeymoon will be wherever you want. Then maybe a year later we can start trying for kids so I can have mini you’s running around the house.” He has a smile on his lips when he talks, envisioning his future with his love.

“We have to get a dog too, and maybe even a cat. I would take your last name, it is quite a cool name.” Harry chuckles and kisses her cheek before saying her name and his last one, saying it has quite a ring to it.’ She agrees then continues their conversation. 

“We could move to Manchester or London even, I think I would like to settle down there. Be closer to your mom, and I’ve always loved London ever since I was little I wanted to live there.” Harry is surprised by her words. 

“You would really want to settle down in London?” He questions, just to make sure, and she nods. “What about your parents? Or your friends in California?” He knows how hard it is to move away from all of his family and friends, and he knows she had to move away from her parents for her music career, but they only lived a few states away. Not on a whole other continent. 

“My mom has been talking bout moving to London actually. She’s always wanted to live there . It’s one of the main reasons I started to love London. Plus, it’s not like we won’t be there often or I don’t have a house in Malibu, and you have yours. I could sell mine and that’d be the end of that. I’ll still see my friends there. But I also have friends in London.” She's confident in her words, sounding like she has thought about it a few times and that makes Harry smile. 

“It’s up to you, love. I’ll be happy wherever.” She smiles at him and then she suddenly remembers something.

“Let me show you the pictures!” She says excitedly,reaching for her phone. She unlocks it and they look through the photos picking their favorite ones and Harry is happy she captured these moments and now he wants to take more photos, but he would never tell her that.

 “Harry!” She cheers, coming out from the kitchen with a cuppa in her hand. She sets it down on the coffee table before hugging him. As soon as her scent engulfs him Harry feels his eyes tear up. He sniffles and his mum hugs him tighter, not saying anything and letting him get it out first.

 “Who am I, mum? I feel so lost, an’ empty an’ I don’t want to feel that way. I just-I just don’t know wha’ t’do anymo’.” Her hand rubs up and down his back and she coos at him. 

“‘S alright, love. Sometimes you gotta get worse before you get better. ‘S just a hurdle you can get over. Ya are my baby boy. Yeh can do anything you put yeh mind too. Look at what yeh’ve accomplished. I know it sucks now, but trust me H, she isn’t doing much better either. You just needed a break. That’s all this is.” He listens to his mum and takes in her advice.“I know this feeling won’t last forever, but it hurts.” He whispers and Anne puts her hands on his cheek to make him look at her. “I know it hurts love, but pain is temporary.” She smiles at him and he cracks a smile at the saying. She always told him and Gemma that. “Now, I just made some biscuits so let’s go stuff our faces.” He chuckles at her and follows her into the kitchen.

 They have tea as well and he catches her up on everything that’s been going on. She listens and gives motherly advice here and there. “How do you know she isn’t doing that well?” Harry questions, not being able to forget what she said earlier. 

“She’s called me a few times, asking if I’ve heard anything about you, how your doing, and asking for some advice. It wasn’t easy for her to make that decision, H. She still loves you, and I know it’s hard to hear right now and maybe hard to believe. But it’s the truth. And I know you still love her. Just give it time, love. I know she is end game for you.” He cracks a smile at her words and nods. 

This is exactly why he came to London before he went to Japan. His mum always makes him feel better. When he comes back home it’s like all worries are washed away from him. 

Gemma joined them for dinner. Her and Harry joked around with each other as they helped Anne make dinner. After dinner they played a few rounds of scrabble before Harry went back to his house, tired from his long flight.

 He hadn’t been back to his London house in almost six months. It felt weird walking in and seeing all the photos of him and y/n, but he did his best to ignore them, not having the heart to take them down. It felt wrong.

 He took a shower and got ready for bed, finding a bag full of y/n’s stuff in the closet that he shoved in the back. But as he was trying to sleep he couldn’t stay still and kept tossing and turning. He had a melody in his hand and he couldn’t rest till he figured out what it was. So he got up and walked downstairs to his grand piano. He sat down then pulled his phone out and went to voice memos before he started trying different keys. Once he found the one’s he was looking for he tried new things and added on to it. Lyrics starting popping up in his head and he started to sing softly, stopping sometimes and trying new keys or a different lyric. His journal was open so he started to write what he doing down before playing again. 

I’m in my bed

And your not here

And there’s no one to blame but the drinks and my wondering hands 

Forget what I said

It’s not what I meant

 And I can’t take it back-

“Fuck. Now ‘m stuck.” He train of thought disappeared and he started to look around. 

His eyes were glued to a certain photo of his ex-lover smiling widely with  flowers in her hair as she puts some in Harry’s and he looks up at her curiously. It was one of his favorites from the Jamaica trip for his first album. It was before they got together but to everyone besides them it was so obvious they liked each other and Mitch always made sure to let Harry know.

***

She swims up next to Harry who is swimming in his underwear and has his arms on his surfboard. He smiles widely at something Mitch is saying, laying a kiss on her temple before laughing at him. Mitches words replay in Harry’s head.

“You guys just need to get together already. It’s obvious how much you guys like each other, H.” And all Harry did was bashfully smile and tell him she doesn’t feel the same as he watches her swim around them, her snorkeling goggles on.

It goes quiet and the only thing heard is the waves crashing on shore and the birds above. She climbs onto Harry’s board with his help and lays back, stretching her arms above her head. 

“It’s pretty here innit?” He questions, turning his head to look at her and watch as she looks around with curious eyes.

 “It’s beautiful. Feel like I could stay here forever.” She replies with a dreamy sigh. Mitch and Harry chuckle and Mitch agrees. 

When they get back to shore and have showered and redressed they all meet in the back patio. Harry and Mitch have a guitar, Jeff is on his laptop next to Mitch, and the rest or Harry’s crew sit around on the patio furniture. Harry is sitting under a Ixora Ixora Coccinea. A tree that has beautiful red/orange flowers. 

When the wind blows the flowers fall and y/n has been sticking them in her braid she has. Then when she was happy with her hair she started putting them in Harry’s. Hélène laughed when she noticed and snuck a photo.

 A wide smile is on her face as she is happy with her work so far, and Harry is looking up at her curiously and lovingly. Both of their eyes shine and the colors of y/n’s dress stick out with the colorful tree in the background. 

The sessions finishes before dinner time, everyone content with their progress. Y/n helped and gave her pointers, Mitch showing Harry new ideas he came up with, and Harry giving his input and showing everyone what he has so far.

 After dinner Harry and y/n went to Harry’s room to watch a rom-com. Harry had a matching red button up and shorts on, and y/n couldn’t wait to steal the shirt one day. When they shut the lamps off Harry pulled y/n into his front so he could spoon her.  He pressed a soothing kiss to her head and her eyes fluttered shut. 

“Goodnight.” They both whispered at the same time making them laugh lightly. Their legs were tangled together and his arm was firmly wrapped around her as they slept, a content smile on his face. 

***

I can’t run pack the bag that you left 

The conversation he had with his mom earlier in the night replays in his head as he thinks of new lyrics. 

What am I now

What am I now

What if I’m I don’t want around

What if I’m down 

What if I’m out 

What if I’m someone you won’t talk about

His eyes travel back to the picture as the words flow out of his mouth easily.

I’m falling again

 I’m falling again

 I’m falling 

When he finishes and is happy abotut his prgress he sends the file to Mitch and Harpoon, wanting to know what they think. He fills a glass of water and replies to some emails before heading back up the stairs and going to bed.

The next morning when he wakes up and looks at his phone seeing he sees he has a text from Gemma asking him to go out to breakfast with her. He replies and gets up to get ready for the day. 

He meets Gemma at a newer restaurant with modern decor. Gemma is at a booth in the back scrolling on her phone when he sees her. She looks up and smiles at him, waving him over. 

Once Harry sits she puts her phone down reaches over to mess up his hair, knowing it would make him mad. “Gem, stop it.” He chuckles, fixing his hair as she laughed lightly.

 “Sooo, we didn’t get to catch up much yesterday. What have yeh been up too?” She questions, sipping on her water.

 “The usual, writing, and recording, then more writing, and maybe an event here and there.” He shrugs and grabs the black coffee she got him. 

“How about you, how have you and Michael been?” She perks up at the mention of Michael, her boyfriend of a few years. 

“Good. Really good actually. He accompanied me to an event a few days ago actually, it was really fun, and also insightful.” The waitress sets their food down in front for them, pancakes for Harry and french toast for Gemma. “Knew yeh would want some pancakes .” 

“‘S my favorite breakfast food as you know. You and I used to make a mess trying to make pancakes cuz we ended up throwing the batter at each other.”  They both laugh at the memory. 

“Mum was so mad at us.” Harry nods in his head in agreement as she reminsces on another memory.

“The rest of the breakfast they catch up more and enjoy their food. “I heard about what happened, h.” She talks quietly, and with a small frown on her face. “‘M sorry that happened, thought she was the one for ya.” Harry wipes his mouth with his napkin and clears his throat at the painful reminder because he thought she was too. “Probably shouldn’t of said that.” She mumbles to herself, the mask Harry’s putting on not fooling her. 

“How about I pay for this and then we go shopping?” Harry shakes his head at her. 

“Yer not paying, I am.” She shakes her head and they both go for the checkbook at the same time, Gemma winning. “Gem, I can pay for it myself, ‘s no big deal.” Gemma pays no mind to him as she counts her money out. 

“‘S like you said, no big deal.” She smiles at him and sets the check down. “Now let’s go shopping.” She cheers, sliding out of the booth.

***

 Back in the states Y/N went back to her hometown and is staying there for a few days before she has to go to New York and do interviews. She missed her parents and needed the comfort and distraction they give her. 

When she arrived home her mom opened the door with open arms, seeing how tired and sound her daughter looked. She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly as she sniffled into her shoulder.

“Oh honey,” Her mom, Angela, cooes, rocking her back and forth slowly to calm her down. Her dad, Ben, comes to the front door thinking his wife was calling for him but when he sees y/n he joins the hug.

 “It’ll be ok baby bop. It takes time, and in the mean your mom made our favorite cookies and I got some Malibu and pineapple juice calling our name.” Y/n chuckles at her dad while wiping her tears.

Her dad carries her luggage into the house as her mom pulls her to the kitchen. When her dad joins he starts making their drinks and y/n munches on a cookie.

 “Benjamin! That’s a lot of Malibu.” Her mom laughs and shakes her head. “‘S like he’s trying to give us alcohol poisoning!” Y/n laughs and shakes her head. 

Her mom and dad were the main reason she is a hopeless romantic. After thirty two years together there is still so much love. If you were to meet them for the first time you would think they had just got married with how much love the show and how they are constantly joking around and messing with each other. Her mom was the one who got her into music. There was always music playing when she was growing up, her mom always singing around the house off key as Ben looked at her like she was the biggest pop star and had the loveliest voice. So when y/n started to sing and didn’t get her mom genes with the singing abilities they were all blown away because neither of her parents could sing.

They were all sat in the living room watching old home videos. Their cups in hand as they laugh at the videos and share stories. The video playing was one of y/n when she was around two. She had only a diaper on and some boots, she was playing the piano and singing to her mom. Obviously it wasn’t good and she laughs at her horrible rendition of ‘Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds” by The Beatles. Her mom laughs when she sings “wucy” instead of “Lucy.” 

The next video is one of her around eight years old. She got her second guitar and wrote a song for her parents. She was in their living room singing shyly for them and at the end her mom claps loudly, saying “My babies gonna be a rock star someday.’ As she cheers for her.

“Who would've guessed that would come true?”  Her dad questions, his eyes glossy. She looks at her mom and sees tears trailing down her cheek.

“No don’t cry!” Y/n says, getting up to squish in between them.“Their happy tears, baby bop.” Her mom says, messing her hair up making her laugh. “We’re just so proud of you. You worked so hard and now look at you! Touring all over the world and you have two number ones with only one album out!”

 “It is crazy. But you both know I wouldn’t be here without my fans and I want to thank you guys for being my first and helping me get to where I am today.” She smiles at her parents and her mom yells ‘group hug’ making y/n laugh as her parents crush her into a hug.She wakes up at around three am in need of a drink. 

When she walks into the kitchen she sees her dad and she accidentally scares him. He drops the doughnuts he was eating on the floor, thankfully none of them fall out of the box.

“Jesus you scared me!” He tells her and she apologizes before opening the fridge. “What’s on your mind, y/n?” He questions, not missing his daughters sadness in her eyes.

“Just miss him is all.” She replies, laying her head on her dad's shoulder. “I just feel terrible because I left him and I still love him so I feel guilty because I want to be with him more than anything right now but how can you love someone that doesn’t love them self? But I feel guilty because what if I finally tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same anymore or he hates me now? I just lost a best friend and the person I thought was my forever.” Her dad takes a minute to reply, letting her words sink in and thinking of the best advice he could give her.

“Love takes time, y/n. You think me and your mom never had our rough patches? We took a break once too, for a similar reason. We both needed to work on ourselves before we could be together, we wanted to be the best person we could be for each other because we know both of us don't deserve any less. He still loves you y/n, trust me. I know you guys aren’t talking but you know how much your mom adores him so when he called her she talked to him for hours about you. That was only a few days ago actually.” She smiles because she did the same thing with Anne. Since her and Harry were friends for so long both of our families are close and he is as close to my parents as I am his, especially Anne.

“I don’t even know where he is right now. I know he left Malibu but he never told me where he was going. I just miss how it was. Wish I could go back and relive it. Or I at least wish I could tell him how I feel.” 

“You gotta shoot your shot before you miss it, kid.” She huffs and sets her mug in the sink next to his

.“If it was only that easy.” She whispers before saying goodnight to her dad.

Her voice is light, sounding defeated.He has been gone for too long and recently got back, and since then they have only been able to hangout twice due to their hectic schedules. So she misses him more than usual and really needs some Harry time.

She hears him chuckle lightly and some rustling before he speaks up again.

“I’ll have the drinks and snacks waiting for you.” She smiles widely, already feeling a million times better and excited for her night with Harry.

“I’ll be there soon! Love you, bubs.” Harry smiles on the other end of the line. His eyes light up when she tells him she loves him. His imagination wandered to different scenarios of her saying those three words.

“Love you too. Drive safe, darling.” She hangs up, smiling from ear to ear, those three words having the same affect on her. She knows it’s wrong. Harry’s her best friend. But she knows first hand how hard it is to not love the tall and talented green eyed man. 

She quickly leaves the parking lot, driving to Harry’s house as quickly, and safely, as she can. She already knows he has her favorite sweatshirt of his in the dryer, along with some clothes for her, so that way they would be warm when she arrives. It’s one of her favorite things that he does because he knows she hates being cold. 

She hops out of her car after shutting it off and parking it, quickly making her way into Harry’s home. She takes a deep breath when she enters, Harry’s house smelling like home. Once her shoes were off,and her keys were in his key bowl next to his, she made her way up into Harry’s room, not seeing him downstairs. 

She walks into his room and sees him pulling her favorite hoodie, a pair of her favorite fuzzy socks he bought just for her, one of his shirts, and a pair of boxers, from the laundry basket, neatly placing them on the bed for her. Once it was all set on the bed and she stopped staring at him with love in her eyes she ran over to his bed, jumping on it and sighing.  

“Fucking Christ Y/N! Nearly gave me a damn heart attack.” His hand clutches his heart as he speaks, laughing lightly and smiling at her as she giggles at him. “Yeh think that’s funny? Nearly killin’ me?” She shakes her head, laughing harder at his dramatics. He smirks when an idea pops in his head, her laughs coming to a stop when she sees the look on his face. Then suddenly he lands on top of her. She lets out a loud “oof” when he lands on her.

“You’re crushing me, yeh knobhead!” She giggles as he begins to tickle her sides. He chuckles into her neck, his curls tickling her skin. “Harry! ‘M gonna pee! Stop it!” 

“Always knew you were a bedwetter.”She scoffs and goes to retaliate but he moves to hover over her, speaking before she can get the chance to quip back with a smart remark. “I ordered pizza, have a load of snacks we can binge on all night, your favorite wine, and our movie is waiting for you downstairs once you shower and change.” She swears her heart bursts. He does this often. Always knowing exactly what she needs, sometimes before she even knows herself. He’s so unbelievably kind and so caring she often wonders how she got so lucky with a best friend like him. He always makes sure she is taking care of herself and is taken care of. She feels like a princess around him. 

“You got me pizza!” Her face lights up and it makes Harry smile even harder. 

“Yep, from our favorite place too.” She loops her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. 

“Thank you so much, H. You don’t know how much I love and appreciate you.” She could almost cry she’s so happy. Harry coos at her when he hears her sniffle.

“Don’t cry, pet. Yeh know how much I love yeh. I’d do anything fo’yeh. No go shower, yer  stinkin’ up the house.” Her mouth falls open as she playfully gets offended. He gets off of her to let her get up and she swat his bum as she scurries past him making him gasp and watch as she giggles and hurries to the bathroom so he can’t get her. 

***

“So you’re telling me that some dickhead ate your lunch, and it even had your name on it and they didn’t even say sorry?” Harry questions with raised eyebrows. Y/n moves her wine glass to his coffee table after finishing it before looking back up at Harry.

“Yes! Isn’t that ridiculous! This is the third bloody time this month and we aren’t even halfway through this month! I have no clue who it is. I bet it’s Sarah. Bloody cunt can’t keep her hands off of what isn’t hers!” She exclaims, remembering her delicious lasagna that got eaten by some asshole at work. 

“Sarah’s the one that got caught cheating on Michael with Jacbson right?” He questions, interested in her work drama, but more interested in how fired up she gets. 

“Yes! And rumor has it she is now cheating on Jacbson! Isn’t that ridiculous!?” Harry chuckles and shakes his head, drinking his wine. 

After her shower she went downstairs and found Harry walking in with the pizza in his hands. Their favorite movies title screen on the telly, snacks on the coffee table for later, and two wine glasses along with her favorite wine waiting for her and Harry next to the snacks.

The movie was long forgotten as conversation quickly picked up between the two as they ate. Harry telling her stories from when he was gone, and her doing the same. When the movie ended Y/n got up and put on one of her favorite records of Harry’s , Etta James ‘ A Sunday Kind of Love’ filling the room as they go back to conversing.

“H, can you give me a back rub, pleassseeeee.” She smiles up at him and gives him her best puppy dog eyes while batting her lashes. She knows he can’t so no to her, especially when she pulls ‘the face’, as he calls it. He dramatically huffs and rolls his eyes.

“I guess, princess.” She cheers before moving to lay down on the large couch, Harry watching as she takes off her shirt before laying down, waiting for him. He lets his eyes trail her figure, mesmerized by every dip, curve, and mark on her beautiful body. He quickly snaps himself out of it, scolding himself and blaming it on the wine before moving to start rubbing her back. She groans when he rubs her shoulder, feeling a large knot there. 

“What? Does that feel good? ” He questions through a chuckle as his hands work wanders on her back. Her eyes flutter before she hums in reply.

“I haven’t had a back rub in so long. I think I should hire a masseuse.” She chuckles before moaning when he rubs out another knot. Harry glances down at his pants, shaking his head at his friend that wants to make an appearance. “Maybe I should hire you.” He chuckles and continues rubbing her back. Once he is done getting the knots out he moves to peek at her face, noticing how her breathing evened out and her eyes are shut. So he begins to draw random things on her back. First it was a few random shapes, then some of his favorite lyrics. Once he was positive she was asleep he began to trace three words on her back. 

But she isn’t asleep. She has been silently trying to figure out what he has been writing on her back, figuring out most of the lyrics he traced on her back. When she feels him writing something new it takes her a minute to figure out what he is writing, but she quickly figures out. She almost chokes on her breath, trying her hardest not to tense up or move. Sure, they say they love each other, but they both know he isn’t writing those words on her back in a friendly way. She could almost cry, now knowing he feels the same way about her as she does him. 

“Hey H,” He jumps lightly at the sound of her tired voice. He thought she had been asleep for a good twenty minutes, but she wasn’t. “I love you, too.” His breath gets caught in his throat. He hid his feelings for so long, thinking there was no way she liked him the way he liked her. He was only her best friend to her, there is no way she could feel the same as him. But he was mistaken.

She rolls over to her back, looking up at him with a small smile on her lips and glossy eyes. He moves to hover over her slowly, his eyes still wide, looking awestruck with his mouth open slightly. His cross necklace dangles over her. She grabs it and messes with it nervously, tracing the outside with the pad of her thumb. 

“I-You love me? Like not in a friendly way? You actually-” She cuts him off by pulling on his necklace so he comes close to her and she presses a kiss on his lips. They both inhale through their noses sharply when their lips meet, their eyes fluttering closed as they have their first kiss. Their lips mold together perfectly as they melt into the kiss. Her lips taste like red wine and Harry swears he could kiss them for hours.

Harry pulls back, both of them looking into each other's eyes as they catch their breath. Both of their lips are slightly swollen and redder from the long kiss. Her cheeks go red and she gives him a dreary smile. 

“I love you, so damn much.” Both of them smile widely, his head dipping down to pepper kisses all over her neck as she giggles. He trails kisses from her neck, to under her jaw, to her cheek, then finally her lips, but this time, more harshly and needy. Her hands get tangled in his hair and he moves his hips down further by hers, she gasps when she feels him brush over her. He pulls back and shakes his head, looking down at her. “Why did it take us so long to do this?” She giggles and shrugs her shoulders.

“I don’t know, but let’s not waste anymore time.” He chuckles as she pulls him back down for another kiss. His hand moves to trace up her body. She shivers when his finger comes in contact with her bare skin. “H?” She questions breathlessly as Harry makes a deep purple mark on her neck. He hum in response before pulling away from her neck and moving to look into her eyes. 

“‘S everythin’ ok, darling?” She moves her hands to rest on the sides of his face, laughing breathlessly. 

“Yes, it’s more than ok.” His worry visibly fades, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I just think, we should,” she toys with the collar of his shirt in nervousness. But Harry catches on, smirking at her. 

“Words, Princess.” Her cheeks fade to a deeper red, her actions stopping and her gaze moving to his eyes. 

“I want you to fuck me Harry.” His eyes grow impossibly darker at her words and he quickly moves, picking her up off the couch and moving quickly to his bedroom. She giggles as he holds her up by the back of her thigh and her arms are pooped around her neck. She laughs even harder when Harry stubs his town on the side of his bed and almost falls, but luckily, they somehow land on the bed  

“Stop laughing at me! This is supposed to be romantic.” He tries to sound upset, but fails when his dimples finally show and his laugh rings through the air with hers. But her laugh stops when Harry quickly pulls her shorts down and kisses her clothed center. She gasps and arches her back a little, eager for more. 

Harry pulls her underwear down slowly, trailing kisses up her thigh as he discards her underwear behind him. She gasps again when he finally kisses where she needs him. Her hand flies to his hair and she pulls harshly with every movement of his tongue, making him groan against. When he slips his middle finger in her she pulls him up, reconnecting their lips as she tugs at his pants. He starts to nip at her neck before leaving purple marks all over her smooth skin. He moans into her neck when she wraps her hand around him, his fingers curling in her at the same time and repeatedly hitting the spot inside her that has her a mess under him

“N-fuck-Need you. Fuck you feel so good.” He grunts out, his thumb rubbing her clit and making her legs shake. 

“Take me, please, H.” In response he connects their lips, getting rid of his shirt and kicking of his pants the rest of the way. He slides his hands under her thighs and picks her up, surprising y/n as she gasps slightly at the unexpected change. He carries her up to his room, laying her on the bed gently. She arches her back when his hands move to unclasp her bra, the final piece of clothing that stands between them.

The moon shines through the large window in his room, lighting up the room just enough for them to see each other. Harry lifts his head up, both of them catching their breaths for a minute.

“Are yeh sure, love?” He checks, not wanting her to regret this and hoping that her feelings hadn’t changed.

“‘M sure, hundred percent.” Harry smiles at her briefly before reattaching their lips as he sinks into her slowly. She hisses when he is in fully, a burning and stretching feeling coursing through her lower region. “Please move, ‘m ok.” He nods and starts to move his hips slowly, checking up on her as she feels the pain turn into pleasure. Moans slip through their mouths as his pace picks up, her nails scratching down his back and her legs wrapping around his waist as he easily finds the spongy spot in her.

“Fuck, so tight around me.” He hisses and her moans get louder as he encourages her to release. Once she hits her climax he follows. His thrusts slow and when she flutters around him once more he comes undone. 

He collapses on her chest, leaving one more kiss on her breasts before pulling out and crashing beside her. Their chests heave up and down as they catch their breaths.

“Oh fuck, we really just did that.” She whispers, giggling slightly when he chuckles quietly next to her. He pulls her into his chest with his arm, nibbling on her earlobe before replying.

“And I quite enjoyed it.” She smiles lazily as he massages the top of her thigh, feeling only pure bliss. And she is confident that if she had to relive a moment, it would be this one. Both of them spent, their bodies covered in a thin layer of sweat, and the smell of sex in the air. “I love you.” He mumbles against her neck.

“Baby I’m home!” Harry yells into his house, expecting his girlfriend to come running into his arms, excited to see him and show him her new stuff. Was waiting for the feeling of her legs wrapping around his waist, her arms going around his neck and she started to say how much she missed him while peppering his face in kisses as he smiles and waits for her to press one on his lips, the kiss that will have them both inhaling through there noses harshly and her fingers finding his hair till he shows her just how much he missed her.

He walks upstairs after checking the whole main floor. His eyebrows are furrowed as his worrying rises. He checks all the rooms upstairs, still no sign of her. But then he hears it. He hears a quiet strum of the guitar, the person playing it sounding insecure till she gains the confidence and plays it louder, more confident, more articulation. It sounds amazing and Harry wants to play whatever it is.

He walks into their shared bedroom and sees his beautiful and talented girlfriend sitting in a chair, a guitar in her arms as she plays the song, her foot tapping and head nodding to the beat. Harry walks over to where she is quietly. He sits in the chair opposite of her and watches as she plays with her eyes closed, a pick in her mouth as she plays with her fingers. She’s lost in the music, focusing on how it sounds, perfecting it with every strum. When she’s finished she grabs her pencil, too focused to notice her boyfriend looking at her with so much love, adornment, and amazement as she hurriedly writes the notes down. When she looks up slowly, she jumps when she realizes she wasn’t crazy and someone really is there. She jumps and grabs her guitar, ready to swing. Then she realizes who it is and sets the guitar down on the coffee table gently, this was her D'Angelico New Yorker Teardrop, aka her pride and joy.

“Jesus Harry! Yeh nearly killed me.” He looks at her amused, a hint of sorry in his eyes. All the sudden she jumps up and on to his lap. He chuckles and thanks up above he finally got his welcome home. When there kiss is done it doesn’t lead to steamy sex, instead it something that ends up meaning much more to Harry.

After y/n tells him all about her day, he looks at her notes and strums on the guitar, slyly recording y/n talking as he learns her song because, even though he will never tell a soul, he likes listening to there conversations when he’s gone, makes him feel like she’s there. She talks passionately about the sudden inspiration and how she just had to figure out what song she was hearing in her head until she realized it wasn’t a song, yet.

Harry strums on the guitar as she talks, but not before slyly pressing record on his voice memos app. He tends to listen back on there conversations when they are apart. They talk for an hour or two, both of them feeling like they could talk about music for days and never get tired of it.

She notices him stop playing, turning her gaze from the window to look at him again, noticing him staring at her with so much love in his eyes she could burst. Suddenly he gets up and sets the guitar down, walking over to her in a hurry before quickly getting to her and laying her down, peppering kisses all over her skin. She giggles, her chest rising and falling quickly as her laugh fills the room. Once he gets to her lips he kisses her quickly before pulling back.

“I love you s’much, darling.” She smiles before pulling him in, her hand on the back of his neck.

Before their lips meet she whispers ‘’I love you too, H. S’much.’’ Their lips meet and all the stress of the day disappears from Harry’s body, he only has one thing on his mind and it’s her. She has him wrapped around her finger and she isn’t even aware.

***

He knuckles three beers, carrying them back to his living room with his Chinese takeout in the other hand. He plops on the couch with a sigh after setting down his beer and takeout. He turns the TV on and finds a random movie. Knowing he wasn’t really going to pay attention.

He looks around his house, ghosts of him and his lover play in his mind like a movie. He blinks when he realizes he zoned out, the sound of knocking on his door breaking him from his thoughts. He gets up quickly, hoping it’s the one he wants. But he is disappointed when he sees his friend and manager at his door.

“Well don’t look so happy.” Jeff says sarcastically. Harry huffs and gives him a crack of a smile.

“What are yeh doing here, Jeffrey?” Harry questions, sitting back down on his couch and muting his tv.

“Came here to bother you. I know how much you like my company.” He smiles cheekily and Harry rolls his eyes and chuckles quietly. He stares off when his laughter dies, grabbing a beer for Jeff and handing it to him.

“I booked a flight to Tokyo.” Harry says, surprising Jeff. Harry usually didn’t travel by himself, so it came as a shock that he was. “I should only be there for a week. Hoping it could give me some inspiration, and also I just need to get out of here for a bit.” Jeff nods in understanding. Not exactly knowing the whole situation with him and y/n, but knowing enough to understand he needs a break from his Malibu home.