the end.

Hey everyone! Long time no see. I have decided to return to this account for the summer to continue sharing my writing with all of you. However, this does come some sad news.

I will be permanently leaving this blog on August 15th, 2021.

I have been on Tumblr for 7 whole years (since I was 13) and 3 of those years have been spent on kpop tumblr. Because of this, I have decided to leave my blog. I plan to leave all of my writing and masterlists up so that way nothing gets lost. Again, I won’t be deactivating, just leaving tumblr.

In the meantime, from now until August 15th, my blog will be open again for requests and writing, as usual. I will be following my usual pre-hiatus rules. The only difference will be that I will no longer write for ab6ix or the boyz, and will start writing for p1harmony (excluding soul and jongseob for certain content).

I’m really looking forward to interacting with everyone for the time being! As always, thank you all for your support. Happy reading ❤️

Abrazos,

You assume the first graze is an accident. Sitting in such a cramped lecture hall would cause anyone to accidentally touch a person or two. It’s perfectly normal for someone to reach for a pencil and have their fingers accidentally brush against a classmate’s. However, it wasn’t normal for Jeongin.

The boy had always been nothing but sweet since the first day of your afternoon lecture, respecting your space and giving you warm smiles and even warmer pep talks. You would even go as far as to say the two of you were friends, occasionally meeting up outside of class to study or grab coffee. But Jeongin never touched you.

There were never any friendly hugs or accidental brushes of fingertips. The boy was always proper, respectful of boundaries in your friendship in a way that was rare for college-age men. At first, you found it endearing, but as you two grew closer as friends, you began to loathe the fact that he never crossed that boundary.

However, when his fingers “accidentally” brush against yours in another attempt to reach for a pen for the second time, you realize that he’s beginning to toe the line.

You can’t help the smile that takes hold on your face, forcing you to duck your head. You can see Jeongin out of the corner of your eyes, gaze faced forward on the professor as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening, hands resting idly on the desk. You take it as your cue, never once looking at the boy.

You simply slide your hand across the scratched table surface until your hand meet his. It’s more than a brush this time, and is instead a full interlocking of your fingers. At the contact, Jeongin’s head whips towards you, face pink in embarrassment.

“Is this okay?” You whisper, still not looking over the boy.

Hope you enjoy! Thank you for requesting, lovely!!

[10:14am]

The crackling of the bacon is a pleasant distraction from the soft chatter around you. The boys of seventeen were never exactly the quietest bunch, even in the mornings. Even now, as they set the table in their pajamas, all of them except a few seem eager to chat.

There’s one voice that’s distinctly missing, though, one that you would recognize anywhere. When you had woken up, you left behind a sleeping boyfriend, lips parted from soft snores. His lack of presence doesn’t stop the rest of the members from engaging you in conversation, treating you like one of their own.

It isn’t until a familiar set of hands slide under your shirt, calluses meeting warm skin, do you realize that your boyfriend is finally awake. Chan places a warm kiss to your neck, nuzzling into the soft skin there.

“How’d you sleep?” He whispers softly, voice still thick with sleep.

“I always sleep well when I’m next to you,” you respond, unable to fight the heat rushing to your cheeks.

“Not again!” You hear someone screech from across the kitchen. When you look over your shoulder, you find none other than Seungkwan looking at you with a face dripping with disgust. “Y/N already has enough hickeys, Chan. Let her poor neck rest.”

The rest of the boys chuckle at Seungkwan’s dramatics. You, contrastingly, roll your eyes, shooting the boy a glare from your position at the stove.

“I’m surprised you even remember what a hickey looks like, Seungkwan, seeing that you haven’t gotten laid since 2019.” You retort, satisfied in the way the room falls silent.

Chan snickers from his position behind you. “It’s okay, let’s indulge him, babe. He probably won’t see another hickey until 2025.”

The room stays silent at the tag team of comebacks until Hansol lets out a loud laugh that borders a squeal. His laugh triggers everyone else, until the entire room is filled with the laughs of 14.

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. “Is this what I get for introducing you two to each other?”

i've always love ur writings since i followed you... like idk just i love it 🥺🤍

i mean i followed you with my previous account and yet i found you minutes ago, and came that you want to deactivated 😁

“School has been going well, mom,” you say as you lean forward, resting your hands against the kitchen counter. “Finals are in a few weeks, which is stressful, but I think I’ll do okay.”

Your mom’s voice is robotic as it rings through the speakers of the phone. “Well that’s good, honey. I was so worried that little boyfriend of yours would distract you from your studies.”

“No he doesn’t,” you find yourself rolling your eyes even though she can’t see you. “Taehyun is amazing. He even helps me study!”

You’re so wrapped up in your phone call that you don’t register the presence behind you, startling when you feel hands curling around your waist. You let out a small sound of surprise at the kiss Taehyun places on the nape of your neck.

“Are you okay, honey?” Your mother asks, sounding concerned.

“I’m f-fine!” You find yourself stuttering as Taehyun’s kisses grow more insistent, trailing up and down your neck. “I just saw a bug.”

“Yeah, I imagine that since it’s the summer time, the city will be crawling with them. Remember to wear bug spray when you go out at night!”

Taehyun’s kisses grow more intense, leaving hickeys as his lips trail across your soft skin.

“I will, Mom. But, uhhh, I have to go. Something came u-up!” Taehyun nips at your pulse point. “I’ll call you back later, okay?”

You barely give your mother a chance to register your excuse before you’re hanging up, tossing your phone down onto the kitchen counter. Taehyun is smirking when you turn around in his hold, eyes sparkling in amusement. You place a playful smack on his shoulder, hoping to keep up a facade of frustration.

“I was talking to my mom, Tae.”

“I know,” your boyfriend chuckles. “But I missed you.”

“Babe, we live toget—“

TAEYANG

[1:09pm]

KEEHO

[2:27pm]

JIUNG

INTAK

SHOTA

You’re encapsulated in the page in front of you, every word drawing you in closer and closer. The protagonist is running through the forest, heavy breaths coming out in visible puffs in the winter air. She’s almost there; she’s almost to the gates, where she will be free from everything. She sees them up ahead, legs taking her as fast as she can go. She reaches a hand out, almost making contact with the cold iron—

You look up, suddenly snapping out of your concentration when you feel a pair of eyes on you. Across the couch, Keeho stares at you intensely, a soft smile on his face. His thumb strokes your ankle bone where your feet are propped up in his lap. His other hand holds his chin in his palm as he stares.

“What?” You ask softly, taken aback by his gaze.

Keeho’s smile only grows. “Nothing.”

“Then why are you staring at me?”

You quiet your sobs as much as possible, letting your tears trail down to wet the hand that you have pressed tightly over your mouth. Your chest shakes and shivers with the force of your silent cries, and no matter how much you will them to stop, they won’t.

It isn’t until you feel a hand slink around your waist that you finally sob at full volume. It’s loud and broken, pained in a way that reeks of anguish. It’s sadness, repression, loneliness, all rolled into one.

But the warm body behind you reminds you that you don’t have to be alone. You aren’t alone.

“Babe,” Wonwoo sighs.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” you sob. “G-go back to sleep.”

“You know I would never do that,” your boyfriend soothes, smoothing a hand down your side. “We talked about this. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting. So you have to tell me when it hurts, so I can try and make it better, okay?”

You nod slowly, even though you know Wonwoo can barely see you in the darkness of your shared bedroom. With a deep breath, and the feeling of Wonwoo’s warm hand against your skin, you finally let the tears fall freely.

He’s always been too good at this, you think. He’s always been good at whispering soft words of affirmation in your ear and drawing calming circles on your overheated skin. He’s always been good at wiping your tears and placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

“Don’t touch me!” You manage to slur out, head bobbing to the side as you’re picked up. “I’m waiting for my boyfriend!”

Wonwoo just rolls his eyes. “I am your boyfriend, you little drunkard.”

You find yourself quite literally hauled over the man’s shoulder, body jostling with each step that Wonwoo takes. Even though the world has been spinning for the last hour (you blame that last shot of tequila), this spinning is noticeably different. The strong arms around your waist and legs do little to keep you stable, especially as Wonwoo climbs the stairs to your shared apartment.

“I just want to get in bed with my boyfriend,” you moan out. “Are you taking me to him?”

You’re too out of it to register Wonwoo’s deep chuckle. “Yeah yeah, that’s exactly where I’m taking you.”

After a beat, you find your mouth moving again. “He’s reallllllly hot, you know?”

“Who is?” Wonwoo questions softly, finally placing you down onto the bed.

“My boyfriend! His name is Wonwoo and he’s so super cute and hot and I love him a lot.”

Wonwoo quirks an eyebrow and tries to suppress his laughter, moving to carefully slip your shoes off your feet. “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you respond resolutely. “You should see him! He’s like six feet of pure deliciousness.”

At this, your boyfriend finally lets out a laugh. “Sounds like one hell of a guy.”

“He is!” You demand through a yawn. “He’s the bestest. If you see him anywhere, tell him I said goodnight and I love him.”

Wonwoo watches with a faint smile as your eyes begin to flutter shut. Even with a bit of salt stuck to the corner of your mouth from your last margarita, and your hair messily splayed in a halo around your head, Wonwoo can’t help but find you utterly gorgeous. He chuckles when you let out your first snore, having fallen into a deep slumber.

“Say it again,” the staticky voice requests, the receiver of the phone slightly muffling your boyfriend’s words.

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. “I love you.”

Seunghun lets out an exaggerated squeal, forcing you to pull the phone away from your ear momentarily. It’s cute, the way he gets all excited and flustered after so long. It’s far from the first time either of you have said those three words, but Seunghun acts like it is, every single time.

“Shut up, you idiot,” you chastise through the phone. “My roommate is asleep.”

“I don’t care!” You can practically hear Seunghun’s cheesy grin. “My baby loves me.”

“Your baby is about to put their foot in your ass the next time they see you if you don’t shut up.”

“Aw! Are you gonna put your foot up my ass with love?”

Once again you find yourself rolling your eyes. “Goodnight, Seunghun.”

“No wait!” The panic is tangible through the phone. “Don’t go yet!”

“Why not?” You huff.

The beat is intoxicating. You feel it as a deep rumble of bass in your chest, loud enough to shake the floor of the club. It’s impossible to ignore, even as you float across the dance floor in an unintelligible mass of sweat and bodies.

You see the club in bits and pieces, moments highlighted by momentary flashes of red, green, white, and blue. If it weren’t for the alcohol flowing through your veins, the whole spectacle would give you a headache. The music is too loud; there are too many sweaty bodies packed into the tight space; the lights are dizzying.

And there are hands everywhere.

They start on your hips, then travel to your waist, guiding you as you dance with the stranger. You can’t help but fall a little in love with the way your bodies move in tandem, riding the beat of the music in a filthy grind. He’s an incredible dancer, the owner of the hands, and you find yourself short of breath when he begins to place open mouthed kisses on the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You feel him smile against your skin.

“What’s your name?” You call over your shoulder, the end of your question tapering off into a small moan.

The man places a playful nip on your shoulder. You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he answers you.

“Hyunjin,” he whispers into your ear like a dirty secret. “Hwang Hyunjin.”

It’s only a split second. It’s the tiniest fraction of time that you meet Chan’s eyes from across the grocery store. You don’t know why you’re surprised; you always knew that he lived in this area. But knowing and expecting are two different things, and you never expected to see him again.

The intensity of his eyes hits you like a sucker punch to the gut. He doesn’t look surprised, but his eyes glint with what you would describe as astonishment. You have no idea why he would look at you in awe when the last time he saw you, he looked at you with nothing but pure disgust. The remnants of that day crawl up your spine, using each vertebrae as a ladder to the brain.

It’s only a split second that you make eye contact with Chan. It’s heart-stopping, anxiety-inducing, tear-jerking. But when you blink, there are no longer eyes meeting yours.

Your vertex felt like bliss. It felt like an unending point of happiness and love that would simply extend into infinity. But no, that would be a line. You were reminded that what you had was simply a vertex the first time you saw Yeonjun with her.

It was raining outside, the kind of warm April rain that leaves you soaked to the core but still makes you smile. It kept beating on your navy blue umbrella, cocooning you in your own echo chamber. The only light came from the diner, shining onto the eleven pm streets through large glass windows.

The two of them were huddled in a booth, laughing over something. She placed her hand on top of Yeonjun’s. He smiled at her. She took a sip from her mug. He took a sip from his.

You lied when you said the only light came from the cafe. The light in Yeonjun’s eyes was enough to illuminate the darkest of nights.

From there it was simple, his subtle deflections and moments of unadulterated boredom. Yeonjun’s eyes didn’t shine the way they shone with her. He didn’t smile at you the way he smiled at her. God knows he didn’t laugh either.

But you let it go. You let his line extend out into nothingness, approaching infinity by the second. You stood at the vertex watching as Yeonjun’s line made yours incomplete. While his line grew it became obvious that your own was just a segment. For you, there was no infinity in sight.

You would love to say that instead of a vertex, you and Yeonjun had an intersection. But that would imply that you, too, have moved on from this point.