Free and Brave

I’m sitting here in the living room of the house where I grew up, house sitting for my mom. Chet Faker plays in the background; it’s the first song on this particular 8tracks playlist. It’s seemingly perfect for this cool, autumn day. It’s amazing what familiar smells and environments can do for your soul. Not to sound too touchy-feely, but I grew up here. Early this morning I walked the little dogs by the place where I used to stand outside and wait for my bus to take me to middle school. I remember the first day of middle school, I was terrified. I had just transitioned from a private Montessori school to a big, scary public school (we’re talking 3 times more students in just 7th and 8th grade, whereas my elementary school had 80 students total - grades K through 6). I remember my Mom and brother sent me off with kisses and my first day of school outfit, which I had spent hours picking out the night before. I remember with each step I took down the street (it was only a block away), I felt the urge to bolt. I tried to fight it, but with each step it got a little more difficult. The other kids must have noticed this too, because they were all staring at me as I tried to make my way to the stop (this wasn’t a designated stop, just a gravel patch near someone’s front yard and a street light). I finally made it to the stop, with all eyes on me, and it happened. I burst into tears and ran like crazy back home, my backpack swaying back and forth with each propulsion from my step. I finally ended up back at home, devastated and embarrassed. There was no way I was going back, especially after that. My mom didn’t have a lot of sympathy. She knew this was one of those things kids just have to deal with in order to do life. My younger brother gave me a big hug and said he would go with me to wait for the bus. This was the sweetest feeling ever. Here, my little brother could see I was afraid and offered his companionship. It was beautiful. We walked hand and hand and talked amongst ourselves. I can’t remember what the other students were doing, it must not have been significant. I eventually made it on the bus and waved to my brother as we drove away. The two things I will never forget is the fear and bolting home, and the love and care that my brother responded with. It’s a sweet memory, and as I walked past that very same spot this morning I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Time has a funny way of doing that. It helps you appreciate what you’ve experienced, both good and bad, especially when you’re able to reconnect with that spot or memory and see how far you’ve come.

I just found something that I wrote over 4 years ago (6/23/2010), and I think it's SPOT ON. Here we go:

Facebook = Evil

Society does not have to commit to intimate relationships any longer due to the internet, where connections can be made and friendships are sustained at a distance. "Fringe Friendships". We are less committed.

Before the internet - or even the cell phone - you wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship without physically seeing them or calling a landline. Now you can just tell someone to "find me on Facebook" and you get to glance at their latest wall post occasionally.

There was no ability to connect with people before without being fully committed and seeing them. If you didn't - you may never see/hear from that person again. But now you can find anyone on Facebook at any time. No risk. No reason to reach out. Safe on the fringe.

Facebook ruins relationships.

  Hahaha well it's a little pessimistic, but I think it makes a good point about the importance of making an effort in relationships. You can't trade convenience for a quality experience when it comes to people. It's better to be face to face. So get out there!

Distinguished theorists like Sun Tzu have highlighted the importance of waging psychological warfare:

“One need not destroy one’s enemy. One only needs to destroy his willingness to engage…”

but my world is you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inJtTG_DuU

find the right outlet

let it flow

creative energy travels faster than light

hard to capture

essential to discovery

fragmented thoughts

rearranged

into something