fari ☆

───✶ 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇, itadori yuji gets turned into a six year old after a curse's attack. and of course, nanami kento is left to deal with the mess.

cw ;; yuji is a menace and kento is a tired dad, some gojo and nanami banter sprinkled here and there, fluff

a/n ;; first time writing on tumblr so PLS forgive me if the formatting is bad TT this was supposed to be longer but i didn't know how long tumblr fics are so i got scared; anyways PAPAMIN FOR LIFE and happy birthday to my sweet, sweet husband </3 (yes i ended up crying halfway through writing this so what)

"You were supposed to take care of him," Gojo said, the glee in his tone unmistakable. Kento had the urge to smack him square in the face with his cursed tool, which still hung uselessly from his hand, dotted with the blood and lifeforce of the curses he had exorcised today. The mission was supposed to be easy―just a bunch of Grade 2 cursed spirits in an already evacuated local highschool. That was the only reason he had agreed to letting Yuji accompany him in the first place. He hadn't expected things to take such a...weird turn.

"I did take care of him," he argued uselessly, pointing at the kid. "He's fine. Perfectly unharmed."

"Yes, except for the fact that he's a toddler."

"How was I supposed to know the curse's attacks would de-age him?"

"What happened to being a responsible adult and, y'know, keeping an eye on him?"

"I had my own problems to deal with. You can't expect me to chaperone him while also dealing with a building full of curses." Despite his words, Kento knew he was at fault. The curse might very well have killed Yuji, and he wouldn't have been able to do anything except watch. For some reason, the thought of any harm coming to Itadori Yuji left Kento feeling strangely...sick. 

"I apologize. I should've done better." He loosened his tie, feeling exhausted after having to perform countless exorcisms and then also carry the heavy kid on his back to where Ijichi was waiting with the car. 

"Oi, it's fine. He'll be okay." Gojo patted his back, and normally, he would've swatted his hand away, but Kento could sense the sincerity in his voice. It both calmed him down and made him feel like a prick for getting into this situation in the first place. 

"Anyways," Gojo continued, "Shoko's busy dealing with some serious injuries right now, and I don't think she'll be getting free anytime soon in order to deal with―"

"I'm hungry!" 

Kento breathed out in an effort to gather his thoughts. This was the fifth time Yuji had started wailing about food in the past half hour. 

"Yes, well, we'll get you something to eat soon. I'm sure Nanami is willing to make you something after he takes you home." Gojo cooed, and Kento turned his head toward him so fast he feared he'd get whiplash.

"What do you mean, take him home? I'm not taking him with me."

"Yes, you are. Shoko's busy. We can't keep a six-year old kid in the infirmary, can we? Besides, I'd like to see you trying to take care of a child."

"No. I'm not equipped to handle him. I've―I've never handled children before. I've never even changed a diaper before!"

"I can go to the potty myself, y'know," Yuji said sullenly. "I'm trained."

"Of course you are," Kento grumbled. This day was not turning out good, not at all. He'd already been working overtime for the past two days, and now this?

"See? You're perfectly equipped to handle him." Gojo sounded way too happy about this entire thing. "Besides, I've got a sullen teenager to take care of myself, so you're the only option here."

"Megumi lives in his dorm, not with you."

"Well, since I always force him to come over and have dinner with me at least once a week, I―"

"Fine. Fine. But I'm keeping you on speed-dial. If he starts throwing up or, I don't know, pees himself, you're handling the mess."

"I'll be sure to switch off my phone," Gojo said, giving him a thumbs up and one of his infuriating grins. 

"Come on." Kento held out his hand for the pink-haired child, then realized the infirmary table was too high for him to jump off. Already looking like he was going to hurl himself out a window, he grabbed Yuji and lifted him off, placing him firmly on the ground. "You're staying with me today."

"I'm only gonna stay with you if you pick me up again." The child crossed his arms stubbornly. Behind him, Gojo started laughing hysterically.

"I'm not gonna pick you up when you can walk."

"But it's fun when you pick me up! It feels like flying!"

"I'm not an airplane, and you're not a baby."

To his surprise, Yuji actually huffed and sat down on the ground, chin jutting out. "I won't move."

"Why do I even try?" he mumbled under his breath. "Fine. Get up."

Kento was not about to admit why his chest felt strangely tight when he saw the twinkle in Yuji's eyes, or his smile as he got up and held up his arms. He gently picked him up, placed him back on the table, and then turned around so the child could latch onto his shoulders and neck. His legs wrapped around Kento's torso. At least he didn't weigh as heavy anymore. 

"I'm sure you're gonna have the time of your life," Gojo teased. 

Kento could only flip him off before he walked out with a six year old Yuji chattering endlessly in his ear.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm hungry! I'm so hungry!"

Kento merely watched as Yuji started climbing on his couch, jumping up and down like a maniac before getting off and hunting his next target. He settled for the table, then went for the armchair, then the TV stand. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Taking off his shoes and throwing his coat aside, he placed his bag on the kitchen counter and began folding the sleeves of his blue shirt up. Kento mostly cooked his own meals, sometimes eating takeout when he had paperwork to do or when Gojo came over on the rare occasions that they both had free time to spare. 

"What do you want to eat, Itadori-kun?"

"Hmmmmmmm." Yuji made a show of thinking deeply, leaning his cheek against his hand with a silly pout on his face before perking up. "D'you know how to make pancakes?"

"Yes, Itadori, I know how to make pancakes. Do you want some?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Yuji pushed himself off the TV stand and came running to Kento, barely tall enough to reach his leg. "Please make me pancakes!"

"At least you're well-mannered," Kento sighed to himself. He began taking out all the things he'd need to make the pancake batter, ignoring how every movement seemed to make his limbs scream in agony from how much he had exerted himself over the past few hours. He glanced at Yuji, who was standing there obligingly, suddenly very still now that he had the prospect of getting food. It looked like he was waiting and making sure that Kento would actually fulfill his promise of pancakes.

"Do you want simple pancakes or―" He cleared his throat. "I mean, I have chocolate chips. If you―"

"Chocolate chips, please. I love chocolate. Do you like chocolate?"

"I, uh, I like bread. Sandwiches. Sourdough."

"What's the meaning of that―that last word you said?" His brow furrowed comically as he attempted to pronounce it.

"It's also a type of bread."

"But―but do you only like bread?"

Kento pursed his lips as he picked up an apron and tied it. Getting his shirt dirty would probably be his last straw. "No, I like other things, too."

"Like what?"

"I―I like croissants. Do you know what those are?"

"No. That's a very funny word. I don't know how to say it."

"That's fine. A croissant is a pastry. It's made from dough. And you can fill it with chocolate, too."

"You can?" His head lifted in excitement. "That sounds yummy."

"I'll buy you one when we go to Jujutsu High tomorrow."

"What's that?"

"The school you were in before I took you with me, Itadori." Kento tried to be as mild and gentle as he could with his tone of voice; he had been known to intimidate people with the way he spoke so seriously all the time, and he didn't want Yuji to get scared of him, God forbid. Worse yet, start crying. Kento was pretty sure he would end up sobbing or tearing his hair out from sheer frustration if he had to deal with anything like that.

"Could―could you pick me up again?"

"I'm making pancakes. I can't pick you up."

"But―but you could hold me with one arm and―and make the pancakes with the other."

"Why do you always wanna be picked up?"

It was only when Yuji didn't say anything in reply that Kento looked back, and to his absolute horror, the kid's eyes were welling up, his lower lip wobbling. Oh, shit. Fuck. He hadn't meant to snap or make Yuji look at him like a puppy who had just been kicked. He hastily put the bag of flour in his hand back and knelt down so he was at Yuji's height, carefully wiping away the stray tears on his cheek with his thumb, but he pushed his hand away, turning his face to the other side.

"You―you scolded me," he said, and Kento felt like the world's worst ever person for how the little boy's voice was shaking. 

"No, no, I didn't scold you. I just―look, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to speak harshly or loudly or make you feel bad. I promise I didn't." He bit his lip, trying to think of some way to console Yuji before he got hysterical. "How about I add some extra chocolate chips to your pancakes to make up for it?"

"I d―don't want just extra chocolate chips, I want you to pick me up."

"Okay. Alright. I'll do that. Now, can you please look at me? Pretty please?"

Yuji finally relented, and Kento continued wiping his eyes until they were dry. "You shouldn't cry over small things like that," he said, voice low and what he hoped was comforting as he hoisted Yuji up with one arm, balancing him carefully so he wouldn't fall and hurt himself. Now that that issue was finally settled, he continued working on making the batter for the pancakes, answering Yuji's questions about which ingredient was which and even letting the boy stir the bowl for a bit, which made him ecstatic.

He was quite a bit of a chatterbox, and when he wasn't bothering Kento with his questions, he was fiddling with his blond hair or tugging at his tie or playing with his collar―all of which would've normally annoyed him to no extent, but how could he get irritated in the slightest when Yuji would give him those big innocent eyes everytime he pulled Kento's ear?

"Alright, now you need to sit so I can plate your food," Kento finally said in a no-nonsense tone; the man was tired and his head was throbbing with the early signs of a classic headache. After promising Yuji that he wasn't going to run away, Kento finally got the child to sit in the living room and busy himself with watching TV while he finished up making the pancakes for both of them. Kento wasn't particularly fond of them, but he was hungry, and he couldn't go and get himself something from the bakery nearby without having to abandon Yuji. And God knows what havoc the boy would raise on his apartment if he did.

Yuji clapped his hands happily when Kento finally joined him on the couch with the pancakes. He assumed Yuji would know how to use a butter knife and fork on his own, but he just shifted so he was facing Kento and then opened his mouth, as if waiting for a bite.

At this point, Kento was clearly too strung out to argue, so for the next half hour, he quietly fed Yuji, his own meal forgotten and turning cold at the table. He had to keep reminding Yuji to keep his eyes on the food and not the television, which was a hassle, but when, after the pancakes were finally finished, Yuji rubbed his tummy happily and grinned, Kento decided that maybe it had been worth it.

"Those were soooooo good, thank you, Dad," he said, stretching his arms. 

Kento, meanwhile, was stunned to silence.

Dad. 

Dad?

Yuji had just called him dad.

Should he say something? Make a show of being displeased about it? Correct him so he doesn't do it again? Kento should have; it was not in his nature to be very considerate of the other person's feelings, especially when there was a more logical or efficient option present. He didn't want Yuji to make a habit out of calling him dad. 

Though he supposed it wouldn't happen again after Shoko took a look at him tomorrow. And if that was the case, then perhaps he didn't need to say anything at all. Just...just allow himself to bask in the idea of meaning something to someone, more than a distant friend or a colleague or an acquaintance. Kento had never had the chance to be close to people, to hold any worth in their lives. Not since he himself was a student, not since...well, not since Haibara died.

So to be called a word like this, a word that meant being family, and by Yuji of all people left him reeling, frankly. Even though his manner of saying it had been flippant, careless at best. Somehow, that made the emotions constricting his throat even worse. The poor boy didn't even think it was a big deal. Dad. He hadn't minded being called that. Dads meant something. He meant something.

"I'm gonna go to sleep." Kento had barely swallowed the lump in his throat before Yuji was placing his head on his lap, and now all the air was kicked out of his lungs. A fit. He was definitely having a fit. That was the only explanation for why he suddenly felt so...emotional.

"Shouldn't―shouldn't you be taking the bed?"

"You're warmer than a bed," he mumbled, voice muffled.

"Alright, well, why don't you get up for a bit so I can lay down, too?"

Yuji hesitantly did as asked, his tiny hands rubbing at his eyes, but Kento was quick to pull up his feet on the couch and prop a pillow against the armrest to lean his head comfortably before Yuji climbed it and settled against him, one hand hugging him loosely and the other hanging limply as the TV droned on and he struggled to keep his eyes open. Maybe the curse that attacked Yuji had some side-effects that ended up influencing him too, because something as simple as this shouldn't make him feel like his heart was going to explode from sheer...feeling. 

Kento wasn't used to feeling.

He lifted a hand up and ran it through Yuji's pink crop of hair, trying to keep his breath steady. "Go to sleep. I'll make you warm milk when you wake up."

"You will?" He tried lifting his head, but Kento wasn't taking it.

"Yes, but only if you act like a good kid and sleep now so you're well-rested."

"Could―could we get that pastry thing you were talkin' about earlier, too?"

He sighed. "Of course we can." A pause. "And I'll have you try out sourdough as well."

"Okay," he said, and then he didn't move. Kento kept stroking his hair until he was fairly sure that Yuji had drifted off, and it was only when his own eyes were beginning to close when he heard the child mumble a very soft, barely audible I love you.

Fuck it. His own eyes would probably start welling up. "I love you, too," he whispered, knowing Yuji was probably too far gone to listen. And before he could stop himself, he placed a small kiss in his hair.

Maybe this weird turn of events hadn't been too bad, after all.