SANITATEM

                                    darkness  becomes  you   :  absence  of  true  light. 

fluorescent  bulbs  hang  above  you,   temporarily  blinding.   the  bed  in  which  you  lay  is  full  of  lumps  and  bumps,   making  your  back  ache  more  than  your  throat   —   it’s  almost  nice,   a  difference  in  pain.   sheets  are  pulled  up  to  your  chin,   and  you  try  to  stop  the  shivering  …   but  no  amount  of  blankets  or  a  change  in  thermostat  will  help.

beside  you  your  wife  smiles,   warm  and  bright.   ‘   you  are  so  strong,   ’   her  words  are  murmured  against  your  chest,   but  they’re  not  true.   really  it’s  her  who’s  the  strong  one.

opposite  of  georgia  sits  your  best  friend  and  doctor.   serenity  is  her,   expression  calm  and  lips  pressed  into  a  curved  line.   to  anyone  else  this  would  be  a  warm  smile,   just  as  welcoming  as  your  wife’s,   but  you  know  her  too well.   you  can  see  behind  the  facade. 

 ❝   georgia,   ❞   you  begin,   voice  low.   ❝   would  you  mind  going  to  get  me  some  ice?   ❞   a  simple  request  and  she’s  quick  to  duck  out  of  the  room.   you  don’t  have  long  until  she  returns.   this  is  your  chance   :   possibly  your  only  one. 

❝   helen,   ❞   her  name  is  said  on  a  breath,   just  above  a  whisper.   you  can’t  risk  letting  anyone  overhear.   and  besides,   you  can’t  speak  much  louder  anyways.   ❝   i  need  a  favour.   ❞   she  starts  to  open  her  mouth  but  you  interject  before  she  can  reply.   ❝   i  need  you —   ❞   inhale,   long  and  deep.   ❝   —   to  promise  me  that  you’ll  take  care  of  her.   that  you’ll  make  sure  she  moves  on.   ❞   you  all  know  you  don’t  have  long  left.   hours,   at  best.   ❝   both  of  them.   ❞   you’ve  only  held  your  daughter  a  handful  of  times,   never  changed  a  diaper  or  fed  her.   chemo  has  made  you  too  weak  and  shaky.   ❝   you  have  to  promise  me.   ❞   you  can’t  bare  to  look  at  her  as  you  speak.   slate - blue  eyes  trained  on  the  dull,   cream - colored  walls.   tears  threaten  you,   but  you  can’t  cry.   georgia  will  be  back  any  moment.   you  turn  now  to  look  at  her  so  she  grasps  just  how  serious  you  are.   ❝   promise  me,   helen.   ❞   a  simple  nod  is  all  it  takes,   and  you  sigh  in  relief.

it’s  only  seconds  after  that  georgia  returns,   cup  of  ice  in  hand.   she’s  still  smiling,   but  you  can  see  the  streaks  where  tears  had  flowed.   you’re  so,   so  tired  but  you  need  to  comfort  her  before  you  leave.   you  can’t  go  like  this.   but  despite  your  best  efforts,   eyes  flutter  shut.just  for  a  moment,   you  think. 

                                                      a warmth blankets your body.

                                                        darkness overcomes you.

uhhh… i don’t know where you got that impression? i’m not aware of any other new amsterdam rp’ers but i would love to interact with them (with the exception of helen since i’m exclusive with @shairpe, as stated in my rules)

i assume you mean in terms of a relationship, because i wouldn’t be playing a character that i hated. but i think there’s a misunderstanding… i ADORE max and helen as duo, they’re easily my favourite thing about the show. they’re like a power couple, but power friends, which is even better tbh. but the reason I’m so against max and helen as a romantic relationship is because neither of them would ever put themselves in that situation. max is in love with georgia. helen is in love with her work. and if you’re paying even the slightest bit of attention, you know that family comes… not always first, because we know that he’s obsessed with his jobs, but family is EXTREMELY important to him. he’s working so hard to find a balance between job and family and he wouldn’t throw that away on a fling with helen… which isn’t to say helen isn’t important to him. but not in that way.

and I can’t speak for her because she’s not my muse, but I’m going to assume that helen would never cheapen herself to someone’s side piece but most of all, she would never want to destroy a family when she’s working so hard to build one herself. but @shairpe can confirm or deny that.

in the show or on here? as for the show, i’m not a big fan of Reynolds and Bloom… their romantic “chemistry” seems forced. I’d rather the show delve into their close friendship.

as for shipping on here… at this time, no I won’t be ROMANTICALLY shipping Max with anyone but Georgia. given time there might be an au where he’s single and he’d be willing to be in a relationship, but for the time being… nah.