GOHing Forward

Someone asked us

How do you guys feel about using birth control to stop periods altogether? Is it something you guys recommend/ are willing to help your patients with?

Hey hey, what do we say? Stopping periods with birth control is A-OK!

Parents, guardians, and trusted adults can be a great resources for your questions about sexuality and sexual health.

Think about it: they have bodies and they’ve been teenagers, too. So chances are they can give you some real life advice. And if they don’t know the answers to your questions, they can help you find them. 

It might feel weird to bring up the changes in your body with your parent or other trusted adults, but they care about you and want to help.

Hi anon,

Pregnancy is possible if there was any sperm in your partner’s urethra that could have been deposited during penetration, though it is not likely. A pregnancy can occur any time sperm are deposited inside of the vagina or on the vaginal opening. There may have been pre-ejaculate present but you didn’t notice it. In some males their pre-ejaculate contains sperm in other it does not. If you are concerned about pregnancy and it has been less than 120 hours since this situation you can take emergency contraception. Plan B One-Step EC can be purchased over-the-counter at a local pharmacy or at a local free or low-cost and confidential clinic near you.

While pregnancy isn’t likely, there is a high risk for the transmission of STDs. You and your partner may want to visit the clinic to get tested together.

You and your partner might also want to discuss how to prevent a situation like this in the future. You two might want to talk about birth control or safer sex, maybe you two would want to purchase some condoms and learn to use them together. Condoms are 98-percent effective at preventing pregnancy with perfect use and are highly effective at preventing the transmission of STDs.

Hi anon,

Everyone reacts to different hormonal methods of birth control differently. Sometimes the spotting decreases the longer someone is on depo provera—of “the shot”—and other times they always have spotting. There’s no way to know. You can talk with your health care provider about your concerns and they may be able to suggest another birth control or work with you on a plan for if you have continuous spotting again.

Hi anon,

It’s completely normal for periods to be irregular when someone is still in their teen years and going through puberty. Using hormonal birth control can help to regulate periods.

If you have had penile-vaginal sex, then you may want to take a pregnancy test. A late period can also be a sign of pregnancy. Now, you’ve said that this has happened before so it could just be another irregular length cycle, but it doesn’t hurt to make sure. Taking a pregnancy test when a period is late is one of the most accurate times to take a test. You can take a test at home or in a local clinic.Going to the clinic might be a good option for you to get hormonal birth control as well.

"All I want is education, and I am afraid of no one."

"Hello! I am a white lady and I recently started dating a really wonderful, intelligent, and kind mixed-race lady. I like her SO much but I’ve noticed that I have no idea how to talk about race/feel a little guarded around her because I’m so worried I’ll say something offensive without realizing it. How can I be the best possible ally to her and learn to just fully be myself in this new relationship?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous and answered by Kai Davis as a part of Everyone Is Gay: Second Opinions.

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Kai Says: 

Firstly, your primary goal is on point. You definitely want to be yourself in any interracial relationship, platonic or not. I can’t even begin to tell you how irksome it is when a white person tries too hard to relate. The human experience is enough to create connections and there’s never any need to erase identities, even your own.

Also, as a white person, the best thing you can do in conversations about race is to listen more than you talk. People of color are silenced too much in their every day lives. Avoid talking over your partner at all cost. That’s not to say that you should never speak on anything racial ever. You have to open yourself up to the possibility of being wrong. Let your partner know that she can check you if you ever say anything offensive. That’s the only way you’ll be able to learn and grow from it. I have several white friends who have said subtly racist comments and I’ve checked them on it. And the reason we are still friends is because they took a second, reflected, let me explain why what they said was wrong, apologized, and never made the same mistake again.

I think if anyone understands how a group of people can become poisoned with a hateful mindset, it’s people of color. We’ve watched our families and communities succumb to the racist ideas of the white worldview until the point where we see our people hate themselves. I personally, as a queer woman of color, had a lot of obstacles to overcome before I could begin to understand how power works in this world. You have obstacles too. The only difference is that you benefit from the power structure that you must learn to understand.

That brings me to my last point. You must read read read. You can’t rely on your partner to teach you because it’s very likely that any racial knowledge that she possesses wasn’t handed to her. There are plenty of resources on the internet, in libraries, and in films that can help you gain enough information to not be so nervous during discussions about race.

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Click through to read more about Kai and our other Second Opinions panelists!

Hello Giggles (via bedsider)

Hi anon,

Want to learn the steps to using a condom? Check out this FAQ and play our Condom Game.

Someone asked us:

How badly does the HPV vaccine hurt? I know that I should get it because it’s an important vaccine and I feel so stupid but I’ve been putting it off because I’ve heard that it’s really painful and I hate needles and I’m so scared!

Hi innocentdevilposts,

It’s great that you know what you are and aren’t ready for when it comes to relationships and sexual behaviors. You have every right to assert your boundaries with this person.

It sounds like he wants to be friends now and keep hanging out but now that you know he would want to be involved with you sexually you aren’t comfortable with just hanging out and being friends because it feels awkward to you.That’s totally valid and you might just tell him that. It’s not mean to assert your boundaries. You might say something like, “I know you want to be friends still, but for me I feel awkward hanging out just the two of us after learning that you would be interested in being friends with benefits. I just wanted a friendship, I’m not ready to hang out again just yet. I really appreciate you respecting how I’m feeling.” And hopefully, he will respect your boundary.

However, you also say you want to tell him to “back off” which makes it sounds like he may be continuing to express interest in you as more than a friend even after you’ve told him no. That’s not OK. If this is the case, you might want to tell a trusted adult about what’s going on. They can offer you support as you continue to assert your boundaries with this person and can help you if the response to this situation needs to be escalated if he continues to ignore the boundaries you’ve set.