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You think whenever Yarbert's transformation scars flare up his teeth get sharper? I'm kinda liking the idea that the more pressed he is the more bestial he'll look.

#important data (headcanons)

Yarbert usually carries himself as a gentleman. Composed and confident but excited to see what the multiverse has in store for him today. A true adventurer in search of discovery and romance. (The literature kind of romance not the relationship kind.) He also believes that he is above senseless violence and can get out of any situation with only his wits and tenacity.

...But at the same time, Yarbert can become explosively angry and unnecessarily cruel to someone if pushed enough. His early days as a cyborg not helping his mindset as he hunted down, tortured, brutalized, and killed any Black Ghost affiliate he could get his hands on...or teeth...Yarbert has bitten people's heads off before.

But now he has a family and he fears not only what they would think of him but now he fears his own anger and doesn't want to destroy everything he's built. While Yarbert is capable of great violence he wants to be better and not the monster Black Ghost designed him to be.

#important data (headcanons)

“If faced with a finger sized hole in a man’s heart the only reasonable conclusion would be a super human finger did the deed. I could theoretically bribe a judge to make a cast of the wound and compare it to your finger. At that moment in a jury trial the average individual would only think about the size of the finger and not the physics of the fingering. Of course in response any competent lawyer will find multiple men with the same size finger and get the case thrown out. The finger of accusation is mine and it would still have fingered you.” The mysterious young Scotsman smiles to show he’s in on the joke.

@seanchaiinblack

( Thanks for the ask @seanchaiinblack )

Yarbert could only scoff at the young Scotsman, "That is quite the accusation, good sir. I am but a humble scientist and father. I have no need to partake in such violence."

Was he being coy? A bit, but mama always said to bluff and treat your hand like a royal flush even if you don't have all the cards.

#seanchaiinblack

Meanwhile in his study somewhere

"YAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU GENDO! YOUR SON LOVES ME MORE!"

"So much for a gentleman celebrates quietly."

"On the contrary, He's actually quite subdued this year. Last father's day he set off five hundred pounds of illegal fireworks all throughout the geofront of Tokyo-3."

"Mistah Godfrey really detests Shinji-sugah's father, huh?"

"With every fiber."

#bulletin board (dashboard commentary)

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( @ycungmagick ): What's this? It's lil Miss Miller! And she has a gift for you Yabert! It's a moonstone to protect you from and ward off evil! "Happy Father's Day! I hope you like it!!"

(Thanks for the ask @ycungmagick )

"Ohhhh Little Miss Miller! This is a wonderful gift, I love it! I'll wear it on every adventure."

"I get the feeling I'm gonna need it..."

#ycungmagick

“You’re honestly the only person we got anything for…” Shinji starts. “And you should be extremely grateful we got you something other than a t-shirt on our allowances.” Asuka adds. “So uh…” Shinji presents Yarbert with a book of science jokes: Tickle Me Einstein and other ways to laugh at bad math.

@muses-from-the-house-of-thrills

( Thanks for the ask @muses-from-the-house-of-thrills )

Yarbert lets out a cheeky laugh as he takes the gift, all the while trying to contain his excitement. A gentleman must celebrate quietly after all, "I am humbled by The Illustrious Second and Third Child's endless generosity. I am eternally grateful."

He flips through the book for something, "Ah here we are! What is a bird’s favorite type of math? Owl-gebra! Yehehe~"

"Boo!"

"Not your style? Here's one Miss Asuka will enjoy! What math problem do German students have trouble answering? The square root of 81: 9! Yee hee heeeee~!"

"You guys don't live with him. I have to deal with this now."

#muses-from-the-house-of-thrills

Swinging man~!

Like a bizarre game of Dead as Disco, Yarbert can fight to the bpm of any song no matter how odd it is.

Sometimes Allie will play a song at random just to see how her dad will do. No matter how odd or embarrassing it is. Unbeknownst to anyone, people used to call him the metronome in college.

#important data (headcanons)

"......."

"....So is there a particular reason you're here?"

"My contract stipulates that I must make at least one appearance per year on this blog."

"Oh, well then...how's work?"

"Fine."

"How's the wife?"

"Not married."

"Favorite band?"

"King Crimson."

"....Any weird dreams you've had lately?"

"I used to have a recurring dream where I fell and hit my head on a fishbowl. Hurt myself just bad enough to work the graveyard shift at a convenience store. A traveling band of circus performers always came in at 4 a.m. and bought 16 gallons of orange creamsicle flavored slushie and a package of limited edition Shrek Ogre Green Twinkies. Then the Swedish Bikini Team jumped out of a magazine and read me Moby Dick while-"

"Alright alright that's enough!"

#downtime musings (in character conversations)#(I need to use my samurai more.)

"I hate how I have to rely on violence to solve many of my problems. That every time I'm pushed too far I have to rely on my cybernetics to survive instead of my own skill and wit. It just feels like I'm proving Black Ghost's point. Like I'm justifying their remodeling."

#lamentation and sorrow (angst)

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vicsmusehub

@staff can yall please examine to me why one of my best friend's blogs, @reds-hub-and-main was deleted "put under review??" She's not a bot. She has literally been on this site for almost over a decade!! I can confirm She's a real person.

vicsmusehub

This isn't going away btw, I want to know why my friend's blog was deleted for no fucking reason. It's not even a year old.

vicsmusehub

Apparently my friend isn't the only one suffering this problem??? So we just went from targeting Trans Women to just targeting women in general?? Hello??? @staff restore @reds-hub-and-main and @aishabellasbigblogofeverything. There is literally no excuse for this shit.

#signal boost

godfrey-industries

For all we study about health…we know nothing.

Is milk good or bad?… I rest my case. You don’t know. You don’t know anymore, and a lot of you are sitting there thinking

“Fuck, I’m an adult and I don’t need to drink that shit anymore!”

When I was a kid I knew milk was good because there was only one kind of milk…Moo Cow Fuck Milk and that was it.

And you had to drink four glasses a day…

Now you don’t know because when you go down the aisle of the grocery store the milk aisle goes on for fuckin’ ever!

There’s 1%, 2%, Low Fat, Skim, Acidophilus Milk!? What the fuck are you talking about?! Acidophilus…Milk doesn’t need a friend! That shit belongs in the Yogurt Section!

Lactose Intolerant Milk?! Kiss my dick! If you’re lactose intolerant you can’t drink milk. So what’s in the fucking carton?

Get it out of there, get it away from my milk! It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself!

Soy…Milk…

There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice. But they couldn’t sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually… start to gag.

And they put Soy Milk in with my Moo Cow Fuck Milk, and it doesn’t belong there, because we all know there’s no such thing as Soy milk ‘cause there’s no soy titty, is there?!

#Downtime Musings (In character conversations)#(Behold the best worst thing I've ever written)#(Back for the third time)

the-safari-bag-girls-menagerie

“Fearing animals that aren’t dangerous isn’t good Yarbert-San. Clowns aren’t actually predatory in nature. Their bright colors and loud honking noises are defensive only. While poisonous to predators most clowns are herbivores who only occasionally scavenge elephant meat. Your average clown just wants to be left alone.”

godfrey-industries

"......." What does she mean poisonous???

"This disturbs me. How do you possess such knowledge?"

#the safari bag girls menagerie

housofmisfits

"Ya say that as if the kids wouldn't bugs bunny the fucker into permanent hibernation."

godfrey-industries

"I mean you're right but..."

"......." *He's thinking about it. Oh god he's actually considering it.*

"No no...we're not weaponizing the kids to beat up cosmic entities...though I am open for discussion."

#housofmisfits

Oh god! The demon clowns! THEY'RE IN THE WALLS! THEY'RE IN THE GODDAMN WALLS!

(Thanks for the ask anonymous)

"CIRCUS PERFORMER! MUST TERMINATE!"

#gray strangers (anonymous)

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"You're right! Magic is often found in the hands of the haughty and the pretentious. Magic also happens to be in the hands of my smart mouth big brother!"

@lcgerdemain

#lcgerdemain

housofmisfits

"So meetin' Pennywise is out of the question, I take it?"

godfrey-industries

"Considering that he eats children and we have a baseball team's worth of them running around here...I'm gonna say no."

#housofmisfits

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