Rather be dead than cool

The depression increases..

The friendships decrease...

Landet Due to a drug overdose/cocktail in the hospital intensive car. (Every drug on the test was positive)

After 17 days medically induced coma (damn coma was fun, dreamed awesome and funny stuff) my nerves were so damaged (from the coma not the drugs ) that I was paralysed- completely, couldn’t even move my head in at beginning

Oh and they Made a Small cut on my throat so I can breathe better- the scar Looks like shit

After 3 more weeks in intensive care my upper body recovered fast so I thought i could buy some concert tickets and enjoy myself (September 2018)

I haven’t seen even 1....I bought so Many tickets that are worthless now

And the pain, everyday pain especially my back and nerves BUT becouse I’m a drug patient they won’t give me proper pain killers

Then almost every friend of mine was suddenly gone, no text, no call, no explanation

I would like to date again, but a relationship under these circumstances it’s impossible Nr 1 I’m currently fat but working it

Nr 2 how could I, where do you find s girl that’s willing to love a cripple and I bearly Leave the house

And the loneliness is killing me, I need someone to love me...it’s bin so long

My death and self hate is growing and I can’t take it any longer

I hate my "life"