Yaaasss

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

they gotta invent shoplifting for online shopping

Credit card fraud , gift card hacking, piracy of you believe big companies

i want a button on the checkout page that says "ship without payment" that they make you promise not to click

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency

in zis sense, we arr all little timmy, down hiz well

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep