Playing Favorites

Distance

Artist: Ian Cumberland

All that’s left.

“BIG PLANS” seems to be the headline of my life. Big plans, yes, what are those big plans? I feel like there’s a few that come up in their various forms over and over. They’re never quite solid.

Art. Yes, it’s a three letter word, and I intend to wrap my existence around it until I can plan and plan and plan a way into its existence. I’ll be the spiral characters in the Junji Ito book Uzumaki by the time I’m finished. Nightmarish, beautiful. Dreams are often beautiful. I hate hearing about them, especially when they’re my own. I want it to be done, or at least frame-worked out to the point where I can just execute. I get quite upset when someone expects me to do something without laying out the rules. That’s what I’ve always looked for, rules.

I have found I do okay at making up the rules. It just takes a lot of work. Because I like a lot of rules.

Enough, what do I want to do!? I wan to art, yes, I already said that. My brain feels like a social media feed, one idea after another, thoughts linked one to the next by only a randomly generated algorithm. Ouch, what does that say about the media I consume? Perhaps Instagram isn’t so much inspiring as exhausting. Perhaps true research does not come from the ability to gather a vast amount of information, but from the ability to filter through it. It may not make me happy that I’m slow at discovering how to do something well, but it does give me pride that once I figure it out I’m damn good at it.

So can I plan my way into art? Probably fucking could. Or I could plan my life to give myself more time to figure art out- at least what it means to me. I’m going to a different place soon. One that’s not the city, won’t require all of my earned money just to live in it, and will be a bit more away from people. In order to get the most out of this experience, yes, I’ll have to plan.

We’re going to help renovate houses and turn them into rentals, airbnbs, etc. for my dad’s company. I don’t quite know what this will look like, because he doesn’t know yet. It’s an opportunity to create that job position, make myself valuable. That sounds like a whole lot of lack of rules, doesn’t it? Scary. Well, here’s some: 1. find a property 2. buy the property 3. fix the property 4. rent out the property 5. keep everything about the property organized. Done, takes up a certain amount of time. It’s tangible, it exists once we make it. It costs money, it takes up space.

Art rules, some ideas. 1. look around 2. pick something 3. draw it

Better yet. 1. look around 2. pick something 3. ignore it 4. come back to it 5. let it get in your head 6. be frustrated, feel something for it 7. make something about it

Project idea: 3 days/week spent doing art. This will include-

Day 1-

-plan for the “week”

-quick writing about where I’m at currently, what next steps I’d like to take

-drawing exercises- from observation, going somewhere to see other art, explore, or draw in environment, figure drawing session, etc.

Day 2-

-warm up drawing

-project work

-time researching opportunities, working on selling art online/in galleries, stores

Day 3-

-project work

-summary writing/analysis of this “week’s” work

-research for next “week’s”

-free writing

Evidence to be presented monthly-

1. blog posts- 1/week, then more comprehensive 1/mo

2. shows- outside or in home curations

3. writing excerpts in zine or similar collection

How this project connects to/departs from/builds on my past work-

-This allows me to set aside actual time to complete my artwork. I have one day here or there now, which is always punctuated by errands and trying to relax or do job work from home. I never fully decompress enough to build a consistent practice, so that’s the ultimate goal.

-My most recent previous work was an exercise in time restriction, drawing one a day, or close to it. Now, I’d like to introduce more expansive prompts and investigations.

-I do have a goal of developing a business surrounding my work. At least, I’d like to understand what it is I really want to focus on. I want to know what it’s like to devote the energy I currently give to my job onto building my own business. Do I have the bandwidth? Can I do that solely, or will I always need the supplementary “day job”?

Resources I’ll need-

-housing, food, studio space, art supplies, show materials (frames, mats, etc.), prints

Picking a place for us to go. “Next” it said, my moves at its whim. “Listen to the birds”, but I haven’t taken the time to learn their language. I haven’t taken the time to do much of anything. Feeling and ignoring are skills honed and honored. Worship at some sort of altar- it might as well be loneliness. I think they were right in that sense- everyone picks something to believe in, even if it’s a stark lack of belief, or belief in not believing, or belief what others believe is not worth the belief.

A beautiful lazy swagger

Dry-stone strong and durable

For ever and ever and ever

Which is onwards

My absolute pleasure

Be good and listen to the birds sing

The failure of clouds

A murder of little burnt birds

Dutch Still Life Embroidery

Memento Mori Studies

“Remember that you will die.”

Study: Mirror One

Alaina Stocker