It's pride month and I congratulate everyone on it, but I would like to share that I am still worried about seeing LGBT+ symbols that people calmly showed because I am afraid that these people will be harmed physically and mentally ( yay my childhood injuries and humiliation from my parents )
I really might have a panic attack because of this... At the same time, I am not a homophobe, I am a pansexual myself, it's just that in the place where I grew up they can easily beat me up for this, and now in Russia they can put you in jail for six years if you are LGBT+
In general, this is a big problem because in Russia LGBT people are still considered almost a disease and put on the same level as pedophilia, necrophilia and Bestiality... I was very lucky not to grow up homophobic, even though my parents are homophobes. Many of my friends were homophobic, and even the girl I was in love with had a homophobic period. God, it will be easier for the older generation in Russia to accept that their son is a murderer than that their child may be gay.
I also often heard in Russia that children should not live in same-sex families. AT THE SAME TIME, NONE OF MY FRIENDS HAD A NORMAL LOVING FAMILY. Even me. Their logic is dumb... And I would add that in Russia a large number of children are already growing up in same-sex families, but not with two mothers, but with a mother and Grandmother. Because many fathers leave for bread (or milk).
And also about my personal experience, when I was fourteen, my mother threatened to stab me with a knife if she found out that I was a lesbian. Very cute
I basically suffered from internal homophobia, and for about five years I didn't understand why I was trying to convey the idea that same-sex relationships are bad. But believe me, if you are taught this from childhood, it will remain in your subconscious and it will be difficult to get rid of it. I've only recently started accepting myself for who I am, and then not completely. For several years, I wanted to change my gender ONLY because it was hammered into my head that a couple should be of different sexes and my logic was like this: "if I want to be with girls, I have to become a guy."
Because of that, I was hysterical that I wanted to be a guy, called myself by a man's name, and so on, but I wasn't trans, I was just, you know, dumb.
I'm still trying to figure out LGBT people, and many things don't make sense to me, or I automatically remember what I've been told since I was a kid, and I can say something harsh and rude about it
and I don't know why you need this story at all, and I'm ashamed to publish it ....
And yes, everything here is written through a translator, I don't speak English well enough, so maybe everything is bad with the text.
theartofmadeline
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