Lately, I feel like it is impossible for me to break myself out of this sort of "comfort zone" routine I have created.
Almost everyday, I noticed myself looking forward to my alone time. It felt nice just hanging out alone. I felt as though I could breath a sigh of relief and just, be.
But I have aspirations & dreams for myself. And this routine is smothering those aspirations & dreams.
While I don't deny, it is good to comfort & nurture yourself when you need to, but in my case, I was choosing that routine over pushing myself to try something new, or pushing myself to progress towards my dreams. Because the routine felt familiar, felt safe, it felt good knowing what to expect, and it is what I was accustomed to now.
But what I found was that my routine was slowly consuming me. Taking over everything like nature reclaiming an abandoned place. It was like a gentle, quiet killer. Embracing me in it's coziness & reassurance. But rotting me away as time went on.
There is fear in the unknown, I've played enough eldritch horror games to know that for sure. I know what I want for myself, but I don't really know how to go about it, exactly. I suppose, I am afraid of the unknown of my future and the future of a lot of things. And it scares me.
I know it will be a long & difficult road. But I will move on from this routine. Escape from the stagnation, the familiar, the predictable that feels so safe.
I will push myself towards my aspirations & dreams, one day at a time.
I refuse to give up on myself. I am capable of change.
I saw a post by @ 0ddoblivion / Enoch, that said "You're capable of change."
And it made me want to get some stuff out of my head.
