mayberry

You couldn't exactly say you were expecting much from the call. You never expected much anymore. It just kind of sucked that you moved all the way from Hawaii to California for Megan, only to get blown off nine times out of ten. Truthfully, you were proud of her. She was following her dreams, and so were you. You had successfully gotten the green light for a television show that you had been writing. Though, you'd have to thank Megan for helping you networked. After all, she introduced you to Manon who introduced you to Sophie. Now, you were here, listening to the continuous ringing of your phone trying to connect to hers.

You were beginning to lose hope until you heard the ring cut off and her voice replace it. "(Y/n), hey, I'm sorry. I'm really busy right now. Can we talk later?" She questioned, repeating her words from pretty much every call. A line that way so overused that it almost made you sigh, but you held it together.

Instead, you put on a smile as if she could see you and nodded. It was robotic, at this point. Your words came out as mechanic and as you felt. Practiced, scripted, just as overused as her own words. "Absolutely. Over dinner. I'll see you tonight, at home. I love you," the last three words came out softer than the others. They held a lot more weight than the promise to speak to each other. That rarely happened anymore.

You heard someone calling her name, and you knew she would be leaving the call now. "Perfect, thank you. You are the best. I appreciate your understanding. Only next time…" She hesitated, as if she didn't know how to word it nicely. She probably didn't. "Don't call during my rehearsals, yeah? I love you, too." Megan didn't exactly sound upset, but you knew she was irritated. You could hear the strain in her voice. You knew her all too well.

When the familiar sounds of the call ending occurred, you dropped your smile and felt your shoulders slump forward. You didn't like how used to this you were getting. Even when you made steps to make it better, you would fall three steps back. Even when you brought her water when she had forgotten it, an argument ensued. She felt you didn't understand her work boundaries, you were being too clingy. Didn't you want this for her? For you both? At times, you tried to make her dinner, but she would claim to be exhausted, that she already ate, leaving you to eat by yourself.

The cycle was becoming overwhelming, and you were beginning to miss home. It was funny, really. Megan used to be home for you. But slowly, she became a distant island that you barely could reach, and Hawaii came back to view. Even though, at the moment, it was equally as unattainable. It made you feel sick. Seeing your relationship deteriorate after everything you built. Ever since Katseye debuted, she has pulled away.

It's a problem that you talked to Sophie about. You hoped maybe she understood. After all, Manon was in the same group as Megan and she was Sophie's best friend. Perhaps she was experiencing the same pulling away as she had. Sophie hadn't though. Manon was still as present as ever in her life. In fact, they made plans for dinner once a week. Something you still couldn't convince Megan to do. Even if she was off on the weekends.

There was still good, though. The good that made you unable to break up with her. The good that made the roller coaster you two were on exciting. Sometimes, she would come home with little gifts, fast food (even if she didn't eat with you), and kisses. At night, she'd still hold you, and in the morning, she'd still kiss you goodbye. She still told you how much she loved you when she was with you in person. But she was pulling away and you could feel it. Because there was more bad than good.

When she'd come home and tell you how you didn't care that she was doing this for you two. How, if you didn't want to be with her, go back to Hawaii. She would tell you to sleep on the couch, even though when you would, she'd be mad and get you to come back to bed. She'd argue with you over nothing, she'd yell at you if you snored in your sleep. It was obvious that it was the exhaustion, but you were exhausted, too. You just wanted love that didn't make you fall asleep crying. You wanted the old Megan back. The Megan that used to call your snoring cute, that would talk things out instead of arguing. You felt lost.

Which is why you packed. Sophie said you could stay in her guest room, if you needed. Something you didn't want to do, but you couldn't deal with the hurt any longer. You needed space, whatever that meant. You needed time.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was small, brows pressed together in confusion. She looked at the bag opened on the floor. When she realized what was happening, she tried to help you unpack. "No, no, no, no. I can't do this without you. I'm sorry, please. Look, put everything back. We can talk it out. See, I'm helping you. Please, (Y/n), put it back."

You couldn't look at her, tears falling down your face. "Megan, I can't let myself feel this way anymore. I feel so alone. I feel like I don't know if you even mean those 'I love you' texts anymore. I try to move with you, but every step I take to make it work is three steps back for you. I know it's because you're tired, but I am too. I moved miles and miles away from my home to be with you… And I feel… I feel so alone because of you." You said, voice cracking. She didn't mean for this to happen, and neither did you.

You just couldn't force flowers to grow, even if it's springs. Even if you do everything right. Sometimes, things stay stagnant or they wither and die.

"Can we work this out? Even if you need a break for a couple days, please." She begged, holding onto you. She didn't want you to go, but she knew you were right. Megan knew she hadn't been herself lately. She hasn't been the girlfriend you deserved. But it was because she was so tired. She made it unhealthy for you two because she was tired. That's not a forever problem. "Please…"

You took her face in your hands, kissing her. The salty taste of your tears mixing with Megan's burned your tongue as you pulled away. "Right now, it's a breakup, but… Megan, if our paths find each other, at the right time… We can try again. I just can't keep letting you break my heart." You stated, pulling the things Megan tried to unpack back in, zipping the bag. You kissed her once more, wanting to remember how she felt against you forever, before opening the door.

Your first call was supposed to be her. You were ready to pick up the phone and call Daniela, but you know you couldn't anymore. You two broke up, and it wouldn't make sense. Even though your fingers had already gotten through your password and scrolled to her name. Your head reminded you that whatever you two were, you weren't anymore.

"Get ready, amor," she had told you, opening her door. It was technically illegal, you both knew it. Neither of you cared. She trusted no one else to even touch the steering wheel of her red Mustang. You, however, were going to learn how to drive in it. "I am going to teach you how to drive a car. You're about to be the best damn driver Los Angeles has ever seen."

Her praise made your heart swell as you took the keys she handed you, and you got into the vehicle. You knew the basics of driving. You and your dad would practice when you were first supposed to get your license. Then, your acting career took off and there wasn't time for the father-daughter driving bonding. Instead, you two bonded on the way to various auditions, lunches at your favorite fast food places, and at home when it was no longer about work.

"Alright, turn on the engine." Daniela instructed, buckling up her seatbelt. She had a look of pride on her face, excited to show you how to drive. Even if you pretty much knew how. You couldn't burst her bubble though. Not when she was looking at you like that. Not whenever her smile was so big, it made your heart pound. "Then, when you're ready, we'll drive around the block."

You nodded before buckling in yourself, turning on the ignition. You checked your mirrors, earning automatic praise that made your ears burn. "You're a natural. Which is good because I'm going to have you drive us to Shake Shack." Automatically, your confidence faltered. You had never driven on the highway before.

You didn't know how to reject this idea she had. "Oh, Dani, I don't know." You said, taking a right when you reached the stop sign. But before you knew it, you were on the highway and you couldn't argue with the idea that you couldn't do it. That was the thing about Daniela. She believed in you at all times, and when she believed in you, she did it with her full chest. Which, is something you could appreciate if you weren't anxious the entire drive to Shake Shack and back."

"I knew you could do it!" She hugged you tight, food still in the car, drinks in your hands. You almost dropped the drinks from the force of her embrace, but you managed to find a way to hug back and keep your knees from wobbling at the same time. "God, I'm so proud of you."

You couldn't even find it in yourself to be proud of yourself right now, staring at your smiling face on the paper. You two made too many plans for when you got your license. You were going to go to her house, she would have a proud smile and hug waiting for you. You two would go on midnight drives, but you'd be driving once in a while. It was perfect. There were road trips planned, dates formulated, and more. Now, you couldn't even stomach driving down her street to get to your place.

You could hear the pings of congratulations from friends, despite not delivering the news yet. It was weird the pings only made your heart squeeze more. Even though you knew they were happy for you, you couldn't find any excitement for their messages. You wanted it to be Daniela texting you. You knew it wasn't though. You knew who she was with.

"Oh," you looked up at her, sucking in your bottom lip. You didn't want to create problems. You didn't want to disrupt the perfect balance of your relationship. But you couldn't help the ache forming in your chest and jealousy causing your cheeks to flush. "You're hanging with Jonah again? I just thought-"

"I can't cancel on him. He's helping me with something." Okay, vague. You looked at your shoes as you watched your girlfriend stand up to her mirror, making sure she looked cute for her… friend. You nodded a bit, trying to find some kind of bite in you. You couldn't though. You knew that no matter what, you wouldn't argue it. You didn't want to upset her. "Come on, don't look at me like that. You know we're just friends."

Your relationship was never perfect. No relationship really was. But Jonah was starting to fracture everything you built together. Brick by brick. "No, no, no! I'm not trying to dissuade you. Seriously. I just… I miss you. You've been spending like, every second with him." You confessed, attempting to fix your face.

Daniela sighed, looking over to you. Despite trying to sound reasonable. You still managed to fuck up. "You gotta stop being so clingy. If you don't like me hanging out with my friends, maybe this isn't working." She stated, shaking her head. And just like that, it was over.

She would later tell the friends you shared that it was mutual, but everyone knew it wasn't. Not after having to see you cry and hear how much you missed her. Especially in moments like these. You missed her in bad moments and good moments. You just missed her. But she chose the boy that always made you doubt. In the end, you were pushed aside for something new. Despite all of that, you still fucking loved her.

You blink as you stare at Lara and the guy she told you not to worry about. As she laughed, her head fell back and her hand landed to clutch her stomach in one of those laughs that made you cramp up. You bit your lip to keep your emotions in check. There's too many cameras around to cry. You couldn't risk being captured by them as your ex-girlfriend is all smiles with a boy with floppy hair.

There was a hand on your shoulder and you looked over to see Sophia and Manon. Notoriously known to be the two most caring of the group. You smiled softly at them as they co-witnessed the scene that made your heart ache and stomach lurch. It had only been a couple of weeks since the breakup. A relationship timeline that happened behind the scenes. The fans didn't even have time to create a ship name for the two of you. It combusted in only six months.

Maybe that's why you shouldn't have been as heartbroken as you are now. But you are. You couldn't help your emotions. No one really could, not unless they allowed it to fester deep down. Which, in a way, is what you are forced to do now. This entire hangout was for getting you all out there. You just didn't think that Lara would be so okay with hanging out with Orlando, letting the world see them kiss, laugh, and have so much fun without you by her side.

"I love Lara," Manon said softly, putting a hand on your shoulder. It was soft, comforting. It grounded you in a way that made your head stop spinning. "With that said… If this is how she acts just after you two broke up… Maybe you don't need her. I'm not saying to stop acting professional or friendly, but I think it's okay to move on, too." Sophia nodded in agreement as she squeezed your other shoulder.

The breakup hadn't exactly been messy. It was just emotional. Lara broke up with you, and left you in tears. She explained it wasn't because of anything you had done, that it was just because the pressure of Katseye was overwhelming. She claimed that she couldn't be in a relationship right now. That's why seeing her and Orlando felt so traitorous. You felt heartbroken and betrayed by the girl you thought could never actually hurt you.

After all, how can you talk about the future and all the little things in between before absolutely destroying someone? You could still remember all of the late night where you two laid in her bed, Megan opting to take yours in your dorm. You would stay up all night, despite your early wake up calls, just talking. It would be about everything and nothing at all. You never expected it all to come crashing down like this.

Until now. You think about all of the questions she would brush off about Orlando. The way she told you about the flirty DMs he had sent, but you also remember the way she did nothing about them. You remember how, after every fight, she went to him. Not to you to try and talk it out, not even to Megan, her actual best friend. She didn't cheat, physically, but she was still a traitor. She still hurt you like no one ever had. In the way she had promised not to on the very first date.

You smiled slowly at Manon and Sophia, shaking your head. You couldn't let the aching in your heart dictate how you spent the night. Despite everything in your bones wanting you to leave and go home, you stayed. You were determined to make tonight a good night with your girls. Even if you didn't have Lara, you had them.

"Yeah, maybe I don't need her." You shrugged softly, letting Manon's words sink in properly. It felt better knowing they were beside you in that moment. "I have you guys, my girls."

Sophia nodded in encouragement before taking your hand in hers. "Then, come on. Let's get a drink and hit the dance floor." She pulled you to the sodas and waters on the table. You, Sophia, and Manon agreed that the only appropriate beverage for the night were sparkling waters before you all three got on the dance floor.

You were all laughing when a girl approached you. She was pretty, completely your type down to the smile. "Would you like to dance?" She questioned with a flirtatious glint in her eyes.

You wanted to recoil, but Manon and Sophia answered for you. "She would love to!" They declared, gently pushing you in her direction. You smiled nervously as she started dancing with you. You looked back at them to see them give you two thumbs ups. You nodded softly before dancing alongside her.

You were having a lot of fun until you felt yourself being pulled off the floor. "Woah, woah, hey," you blinked, realizing it was Lara who pulled you away from the girl. Your brows were furrowed in frustration as she took you to a quiet spot. It was away from the music, the people, and the cameras. "Lara, what the fuck?" You questioned, pulling your arm away.

"Me? Who were you dancing with?" She immediately turned the questioning on you. It was as if she forgot who broke up with who. Or that the break up didn't even happen. You recognized the frustrated expression on her face, and it made you automatically fill up with slight annoyance. "Are you trying to hurt me? Is that why you're dancing with someone else?"

You couldn't help but scoff in disbelief. She wasn't taking credit for the pain she had caused. "Or I'm trying to heal, Lara. I'm not out there having fun to hurt you. I'm out there dancing because I came in with you attached to Orlando, of all people, kissing and laughing. Mind you, it has only been two weeks since our break up. I'm sorry if my moving on hurts, but this isn't my fault. You betrated me." It felt good to get that out, and you weren't going to let her ruin that. Therefore, before she could speak, you quickly went back inside.

You do distinctly remember HybexGeffen asking for you and Sophia to not announce your relationship. It was something about you two looking 'obtainable,' even though neither of you were. The problem wasn't inherently them asking for you to keep a low profile, you understood that. Katseye was still fresh, new to the scene. You only debuted a couple months ago. No, the problem was, you two struggled to keep your hands off of each other.

It started with a couple outings where speculation began to conspire. The problem was, you two got messy, forgetting who you were at points and getting carried away. The media was brutal. This was a fact you understood pre-debut, but the amount of public scrutiny was overwhelming at times. The scrutiny only grew when fans started catching on to your relationship with Sophia.

fan123: ofc (y/n) thinks she's good enough for soph, it's that pick me energy she radiates fan456: nooooo my sodani heart!

And those weren't even that bad comments. The brutality of the comments deepened the more you read. You never expected fans claiming to be Eyekons to ever crush your ego in this way, but there they were, commenting death threats and about your looks. As you scanned through various threads, messages, and comments, you suddenly felt very alone. Even though you had Sophia, your loneliness began to suffocate you. It felt like no one wanted you. Not the Eyekons, not the girls, not Sophia.

fan789: wasn't she seventh? she was a late addition and shouldn't even be in the group.

You sighed, finally putting the phone down. You hated the way they were perceiving you in this moment. As a last minute addition, even though you were offered a spot because HxG didn't want to watch you walk away. You were their choice. Not that it mattered. It seemed like not even them wanting you was enough for the fans because it was the Eyekons not wanting you.

Did the girls feel this way? Did they feel like you shouldn't even be a part of the group? No, of course not. You were close to all of them. Or, maybe you just thought you were close to them. Did Sophia feel this way? Maybe she was only with you because she felt bad for you. Your insecurities felt like they were drowning you. It was overwhelming, trying to navigate how other people might feel about you. It was like putting together a puzzle. Until others did it for you.

New Suggested YouTube Video: 5 minutes of (Y/n) annoying the other members

It was a rabbit hole that suddenly you felt yourself getting sucked into. You couldn't hear anything outside of the five minute long videos that sent you spiraling further and further until tears rolled down your cheeks. Everything around you felt like it was closing in on you. You never knew you were claustrophobic until this moment. Still, you couldn't move. Debilitated by comments on your worth. Your head was spinning, and you found yourself so deep that you didn't hear Sophia entering your room.

"Mahal," her voice cut through the tension created between you and your phone. You looked up, blinking away tears. A soft look fell on her face as she wrapped you into her arms. You felt like a nervous wreck as she rubbed your back soothingly. You couldn't help the way you melted into her, feeling warmer than you had all day. "You have to ignore it."

She's seen the hate, too. All you do is try your best. Your dancing could use work. Your singing could use work. You were refining it, but the fans were tearing you down. "You are so much more than all of those comments. You're funny, kind, brave, and caring. You deserve all the good this world has to offer." She promised. Something about the way she said it calmed all of the heated thoughts swarming in your head.

"Hey, we've seen the comments. Are you okay?" It was Manon's voice now. As you glance up, you see it isn't just her. It was everyone. The room becoming more open than it had been despite more space being taken up by the girls standing there. A slow, watery smile fell on your lips. "They are way out of line. Lara started deleting comments and blocking people on the Katseye account."

Sophia nodded at this, lower lip jutting out in a protective manner. "As she should. I don't know who leaked our relationship, but it was uncalled for. Then, the comments? They've been going at us all day." Us. You were spiraling so deeply that you didn't realize this situation wasn't just affecting you. "They just went harder on (Y/n) for some reason." She shook her head, obviously annoyed by the commenters.

Megan sat down on the edge of the bed, hair pulled back. "Well, none of those commenters are real fans." She stated a-matter-of-factly. All of the other girls nodded in agreement. "If they don't support one of us, they don't support any of us." The sentiment hit really deep as you looked around the room.

Sure, it was brutal out there in the world. Everyone's eyes were on you and every move you made. But they were on all of the girls. You stood together. The realization that you were in this together, that you didn't have to deal with this alone made your chest tighten in a way that made you feel breathless. You sat up a bit straighter before looking at the girls and opening up your arms for them to join your hug.