leader of a new regime

dashboard is like a pond sometimes

lots of silly gooses

you may be his man but im the one whispering in his ear during his triumph to remember that he is mortal

if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice

“how is peppermint patty a lesbian if she has a crush on charlie brown” like you don’t know any lesbians who are obsessed with some weird sad little guy

every so often i will come across a macklemore lyric that just… catches me so fucking off guard

Girls need to shoplift regularly because our brains are optimized for foraging and when we're denied the chance to engage our natural impulses it triggers a stress behavior known as girlblogging

You're unable to 🥺 out of this one whore.

can't tell if this is meant to be sexual but i immediately imagined the irs saying this to me

i’d love to study you

oh, you're invincible, you say? *easily vinces you*

Oh, haha! What a silly thing to say :) into the soup with you