Shiny Crow Things

I think my life would be infinitely better if I lived by swimable water. I live by the river and I got drunk and went skinny dipping in it with a friend but then I spent the entire next day being violently ill.

you are not a wasteland you just need ibuprofen and a hot bath and a shower and a nutritious meal and some water and some fresh air and to do something productive and to do something creative and to do something that takes physical exertion and to do something social

Jokes on you I can't take ibuprofen bc it fucks with my anti-depressants. Guess I'll continue being a wasteland

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

one of the saddest things is when someone in your family tells you you would've loved someone who died before you were born. like my mother has told me & my best friend that we would have loved talking to her father. that me & my brothers have the same humor as our late uncle & even look like him. everyone is everywhere & nowhere & here & gone & dying & coming back. it's as though you know them through their shadow or their ghost or your own actions, but you won't ever really know. haunts me, i guess

the parasocial relationship between you and the guy whose article you cite the most in your paper

she let me hit cause i support my public library

Before i can do this small task i have to drink a coffee then play on my phone for an hour then jerk off then drink a soda then play on my phone then eat a snack then play on my phone then take a nap then play on my phone then go to bed

adulthood is all about fighting for your life to meet up with your friends at a scheduled time

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

I honestly don’t do heavy introspection anymore I just go “huh my hormones are acting up” whenever I feel an unusual amount of human emotion about something and call it a day

This is actually such a major lie but it’s fine

in her introduction to albert camus & maria casarès’ correspondence, catherine camus wrote that their letters made the earth larger, space brighter and the air lighter just for having existed. & in one of his last letters, camus wrote that a single heart had beaten within them so that it would still be heard in the mystery of the world even after both of them had vanished

& in one of her letters, maria casarès wrote that ten years of shared life forever binds two beings to the very depths of the world, and they can no longer tear themselves away from each other without tearing themselves away from the very heart of the world