glorious fantasy

If you can even consider cheating on someone you need to just leave. Simple

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

💀💀💀💀

i really hate seeing children in churches. in most cases, they don’t understand what they’re doing and what they’re promoting. i think most children are pressured into going to churches by their parents and, therefore, pressured into believing in a magic man in the sky who will send them to hell if they touch themselves or eat shrimp.

omg

THIS IS ALL I WANT

some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows

why the fuck is no one naming their children after greek goddesses? Name your fucking child Persephone?????? Bitch???????!?

If that makes you happy, my name is Demeter

In my experience, people named after Greek goddesses are some of the most ethereal, chaotic forces I have ever encountered. Our Art Department’s nude model, for example, is a woman named Hera. She’s stunningly beautiful, rides a motorcycle as apparently her only vehicle, grows all her own food, and keeps bees, turtles, and a dog named Argus, who she walks around town with a peacock feather attached to his leash. I am thoroughly convinced she is not of this realm.

I’m pretty sure you just met Hera.

idk why i burst out laughing