Gloria Vang

To our family and friends,

This month is a big one for our family, especially for Lennon. He will be going in for a follow up CT scan tomorrow morning at Beaumont RO. This scan will show us whether his lungs have worsened, healed, or stayed the same. It will be the first time we’re seeing the condition of his lungs since August. The last scan showed an abnormal result — lots of holes and scarring on his lungs. We have been waiting for this scan and praying so hard to see improvement in his lungs. We want our baby to be on his way to healing and to experience life without the need for supplemental oxygen if it’s in God’s will for him. More than that, it’s our hope that this scan will give his pulmonologist and team of doctors new information. Up until now, they’ve been clueless in how to treat Lennon’s lung disease. We are hoping this scan offers new insight that gives his doctors a new angle to consider. We are anxious yet hopeful about his results and would appreciate prayers for strength and peace as we wait.

Following his scan, we’d also like to ask for prayer for Lennon’s upcoming appointment at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital / UofM on January 9th. We are seeking a second opinion at UofM and we’re praying so hard that there is a doctor on their pulmonology team that has seen or cared for a baby like Lennon before. His lung disease is not a common one which has made it hard to find care for him. We are praying for just ONE doctor who knows how to treat Lennon or at least point us in the right direction.

We are growing weary from all the uncertainties. We don’t know what type of lung disease Lennon has or how severe it is — only that it’s interstitial lung disease (an umbrella term). We don’t know how life threatening the disease is. We don’t know how long we have with our baby. My own research tells us it’s between 3-5 years for babies born with ILD. We don’t know if he’s in pain or if he needs immediate intervention to give him the best chance at a long and healthy life. We need some definite answers to be at peace. We don’t want our baby to suffer more than he has to if there’s something we could be doing to help ease his pain now.

We’re preparing ourselves for changes following Lennon’s pulmonology appointment at UofM. We don’t know what will be required of us once he’s an established patient there. Whether we’ll need to make the commute to Ann Arbor often, or have Lennon readmitted for observation, or even be turned away…we’re just praying that the Lord provides us with what we need for every outcome.

Please pray for these specific things and anything else you feel led to pray for. We are so grateful for each of you and we couldn’t do any of this without your support and love. We will update you as we receive his results and process what it will mean for our family. Thank you so much.

All our love, Gloria and James

Hi little loves,

It’s that time again... that time when Jesus begins moving and giving us glimpses of you. People are dreaming about you, and so are we. It seems you’re everywhere already, and you’re not even here yet. I know full well that Jesus has written you into our story already, but the waiting breaks my heart. Nevertheless, your dad and I have gotten really good at waiting. And we’ve learned that Jesus is not only a good Father, but an even better Giver. So we’ll keep waiting for you, knowing that you’re going to come at the most perfect time and in the most perfect way. Because Jesus’ way is always better. 

Hi little ones,

It is said that parenthood is sanctifying. Truer words have never been spoken. 😅 Almost half a year into motherhood now, I have found that my soul reaches for Jesus not only in the morning when I rise – but it clings to Him for strength every minute of every day, as I lay myself down for my son every minute of every day. Being Jameson Ezra’s mom has taught me how to reflect God’s love daily—however imperfectly—because my son was not only worth the wait, but he’s also worth dying for. This season of my life looks a lot different than it did in seasons past, but it is more fulfilling than any other before. Thank you, Jesus.

August 3, 2020 

It’s officially birth month! Currently, I am in my 37th week of pregnancy and my mind is somewhere between “How did we get here already?” and “Any day now...Right, Jameson?” But in all seriousness, I am just thankful he is still growing and developing in my womb for however long he decides to camp out in there. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I prayed and prayed that this miracle baby would live and not die, and that I would be able to carry him to full term. That was the only thing I prayed some days, over and over. And here we are today. By the grace of God, we made it to 37+ weeks and baby Jameson proves himself more full of life every single day. Thank you, Jesus.

Last week, I had my weekly checkup and found out that baby was head down and in optimal position for birth. He was measuring at about 6lbs, 3oz and estimated to be about 8lbs at birth (haha yikes). However, after I told my doctor that I have a strong intuition baby will be here a bit early, she agreed to check for dilation. We found out I was already 2cm dilated and 90% effaced at 36 weeks. With that, she agreed that I should finalize any last minute to-do’s to prepare for baby’s possible early arrival.

James and I got straight to work. Baby’s clothes are washed, his closet is stocked, his crib is setup, his carseat is installed, our hospital bags are packed, and the hospital has received my pre-registration forms and birth plan. From the outside looking in, we’re totally ready for this baby. But if I’m being honest, I haven’t felt at peace even with all that we’ve accomplished and prepared. I realized that this process has felt a bit absent of Holy Spirit’s guidance, and that I have taken control of everything in the last week. So I began sharing with the Lord all of my deepest fears, hopes, desires and prayers for the birth of our son. Eventually, I found myself at peace and crafting an entirely different “birth plan” that is a lot less logistical and more in alignment with my spirit’s true desires. 

Here are 10 key things I’m truly lifting up to Jesus as we prepare for labor and delivery. Feel free to pray along with me and James as we near our surprise due date!

Pray:

1. That Jesus is in the room with me, James and our birthing team as I labor and deliver baby Jameson naturally.

2. That Holy Spirit is so present that all of my labor pains, fears, and distractions are quieted. 

3. That I would clearly grasp the purpose of birth pains and understand my deep need for Jesus, who is strong and readily available to me to draw strength from.

4. That in the moments when it feels impossible, I would remember the miracle and honor it has been to carry this baby for 9 months. May I remember that my body has been built to birth and that I can endure for a little bit longer.

5. That the years of waiting, praying, and believing for a child have been worth it, and have prepared me to be able to lay in a hospital bed and give birth to our miracle baby.

6. That I would lay down my own thoughts and trust the wisdom and leadership of my doctors and nurses, fully believing that they have been handpicked by God to serve me and my family during labor and delivery.

7. That I would place all my trust in Christ, the living God whose hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind (Job 12:10).

8. That no matter what happens, Jameson will come into the world - healthy, whole, and full of life. 

9. That the birth of Jameson Ezra will cause the love of God to flood into the delivery room so that all who are present might encounter Him.

10. That my labor, delivery and recovery would be free of complications so the three of us can be discharged and go home as a family.

Mother’s Day 2020— This year is different. It is the first time I have woken up on Mother’s Day without an empty womb.

Finally.

This morning, I was not painfully reminded of the child I want but don’t yet have. This afternoon, James and I will not be glancing at each other from across the room with that familiar look of pain and longing. This evening, I will not be weeping in prayer for a child on a tear-drenched bed. No, because for the first time ever, my womb is home to a baby whose spirit I’ve come to know and love so much. I celebrate today knowing full well the magnitude of this gift from God. And I celebrate all the incredible mamas out there.

And yet,

August 22, 2019 | 2:22pm

𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦

𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝐴𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑜,

𝑂ℎ, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤

𝑆𝑜 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒.

𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗝𝗢𝗬. 💛 

In August 2019, my husband and I learned during my routine check-up that the road to being parents would be a much longer one for us. More waiting. More longing. More hoping. More grieving. In October, I received a word from the Lord that I could be with-child before the end of the year. I claimed it for myself, prayed a big, faith-filled prayer, and asked that God’s will ultimately be done. By December, there was life growing inside my womb. A complete miracle!

On December 31st, baby Jameson had only been forming for about 6 weeks, but we wanted to share our testimony with our family before we officially closed out the year to give God the glory He so deserves. God truly delivered and answered our prayers. This is how we told my side of the family. I’ve never seen such genuine joy erupt in a room. Before, they were there in our sadness, and they cried with and prayed for us. On this night, they were there in our joy, and they happy-cried with and celebrated us.

This is my immediate family: my parents, my siblings, my nieces and nephews. On the last day of 2019, we gathered as we do every year. This time, I planned an activity that every adult and child could participate in. We all sat down in a circle and pulled a reflective question from a cup. When the cup came to me, my question read: “What is the worst and best thing that happened to you in 2019?”

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚: Battling infertility and being told that conceiving would be incredibly difficult. 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚: Finding out we had fallen pregnant despite what my diagnosis and the doctors said.

———

This past week, I stopped by my parents’ house to drop off some groceries on their porch so they wouldn’t have to leave their house. My mama had cooked and left a bag full of some of my pregnancy cravings on the porch for me. When I rang the door bell she opened up and we stood there, separated by a glass door, wishing we could hug each other. 💔 We’ve been in quarantine for weeks. I haven’t seen my parents or allowed them to come near me for the sake of their health and mine. It hurts, and it’s incredibly heartbreaking that we cannot physically be together during such a scary time. But for the safety and protection of us all, my family has done a really good job of staying indoors and out of each other’s homes. If it means my parents live a long life and make it through this, that’s what we’ll do.

We’re sharing this because we personally need some positivity on our feed — and I’m sure you do, too. We know it’s a hard time for everyone. We know it’s a dark time for many. Today, more than ever, we know that tomorrow is not guaranteed. So we’re appreciating our family and friends today while we still can. We’ll never take the little things like family time, hugs and kisses for granted again.

𝗠𝗬 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧: 1. My big sister, brother-in-law and nephew being present for the moment via FaceTime on my laptop! 2. My baby sister’s hilarious, shocking reaction. 3. My big brothers shouting “WHATTTT??!!” almost in unison, followed by the most excited bursts of laughter. 4. My baby brother running toward us, ready to plant kisses on our foreheads. 5. My niece’s confusion and (obvious) mental processing. 6. My niece’s moment of understanding and jumping for joy! 7. ALLLL the hugs. 8. My sister-in-law’s happy tears. 9. Big brother 1 acting like he knew I was pregnant. 10. Big brother 2 covering his mouth in total shock still. 11. Baby sis ugly-crying. 12. Mom patiently celebrating in the corner with my nephew in her arms. 13. Dad trying *very hard* to quickly post a family picture on Facebook. 14. My niece’s sweetest “Congratulations Auntie.” 15. More hugs from my nephew and brother-in-law. 16. My brothers loving on and congratulating James. 17. James’ wobbly secret-recording throughout all of this. 18. My mama’s warm embrace and relief. 19. Baby bro’s kisses. 20. My niece pulling my nephew’s hair - nephew screaming in pain HAHA. 21. My baby nephew sleeping peacefully throughout the chaos. 22. Dad *successfully* posting a picture and finally congratulating us. 23. My niece struggling to climb the couch just to say, “Auntie” with a smile on her face.

Nine years ago, I remember being rushed to the emergency room and feeling terrified that I wasn’t going to make it out to see my family or James again.

I remember being strapped to a table and flipped upside down to be poked and prodded in my neck for more blood tests.

I remember the doctors saying “This won’t hurt,” and believing them only to feel the piercing pain, knowing that more was to come.

I remember being admitted into the ICU, lying down on my tear-drenched pillow, and watching my mama in pain and fear on the other side of the glass door.

I remember breaking through a state of unconsciousness to find my father on his knees beside my hospital bed, pleading with God for my life.

I remember a vivid dream where my angel sister visited me to tell me I would live, and that there was no need to be afraid.

I remember waking up with a clear mind for the first time and feeling like I had been asleep for weeks, only to realize none of it was a dream.

I remember finally being discharged and celebrated by doctors, nurses, family and friends who cared for, visited, and interceded for my life for two long weeks.

I remember going home and knowing that my life was forever changed, and that nothing would ever be the same again.

I remember struggling to understand why this had happened to me. I remember wrestling with God about the meaning of it all. I remember getting okay with not knowing. I remember desiring His nearness most. I remember realizing He never left. I remember the pain of that time. Yet, I remember the healing most.

Nine years ago, I fell ill with a rare case of pneumonia combined with bacteremia. By the grace of God and with the help of doctors and an incredible medical team, I made it out of there alive.

When death lost to life, and sickness was overcome by healing, and unified prayers were answered; a miracle was recognized by an entire community of people. A move of God was felt by all who came from different walks of life to intercede for mine. People of all ages, professions, ethnicities, and faith backgrounds witnessed the great power and relentless love of God.

Lately, we’ve been hearing that this global pandemic was predicted by numerous infectious-disease experts. However, I don’t think I’m alone in predicting that God is on the move in the midst of all this. I don’t believe I’m alone in predicting that healing is on the way. I have faith that the whole world will witness firsthand the same great power and relentless love of God amidst and at the end of all of this.

“Because they love me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue them. I will protect them, for they acknowledge my name. They will call on me, and I will answer them. I will be with them in trouble, I will deliver them and honor them. With long life, I will satisfy them and show them my salvation.” — Psalm 91:14-16

My little loves,