God

Largest amount of swag I have ever witnessed

2015 trend: answering the question “are you a feminist?” with the question “are you not?” in order to make not being a feminist sound more like the ridiculous, illogical thing that it is.

i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark

This is literally the worst feeling ever

Permanent mood

my dogs af

Guess who’s got a new ringtone

My dog actually freaked out when she heard this

at work we have a family of three huskies who come in for daycare and everyone calls them “the mafia” it makes me so happy because occasionally out of nowhere someone over the radios will say “we’re sending in the mafia” and then three huskies barrel their way inside and usually slip and fall on the tile ajfjajg

just let him eat your leg you monster

so my mom is a dispatcher for our town’s police and one time a man called 911 saying that he was with his kid and he didn’t think he was breathing and so my mom rushed a few ambulances out and directed him on how to give cpr over the phone and the man told my mom that his son was breathing again and my mom was so pleased but then once the ambulances got there they radioed in asking for a psych eval because apparently the man had been giving cpr to a cantelope