pizza crime is eternal

FANTASY COSTCO WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE (GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!)

When Tumblr staff bans tiddies but a furry-on-human porn comic ad is okay

stardew valley be like. I subsist on a diet of raw fish and algae. I stay up until midnight cutting down trees. I hang out in abandoned mines for fun. Everyone in town still wants to marry me

yall ever serve urself an appropriate amount of spaghetti and are full after eating the set amount of spaghetti and consciously know that u have eaten all the spaghetti u needed but also. u know that there is More spaghetti in the kitchen. so u go and get urself more spaghetti and spend the rest of the night feeling like u ate 30 bricks cursing urself for eating so much spaghetti

Gordon Ramsay should do a show where he goes to schools and tastes school lunches then helps the lunch staff imrpove their food.

Michelle Obama should be a guest on every episode so he can yell at her and tell her how much the food is shit, since she was the one that made school lunches so awful.

Now THAT is something I’ll pay tax dollars for.

I’m so tired of hearing this. No. No she didn’t. Your school districts did.

Michelle Obama’s provisions did things such as limit the amount of sodium lunches could contain and set minimum fruit and vegetable portions. These things on their own did not make school lunches worse. It was districts fighting back against having to give a shit about what their students ate, especially low-income and food insecure students who depended on these lunches for their daily food intake.

i have never said fuck ever in my entire life

You just did

FUCK

If you’re looking for someone to save you, look in the mirror.

Bloody Mary finally coming in clutch