glasspossum

this is so aziraphale core

blood on his mouth monday. teeth in his neck tuesday. wet and pitiful wednesday. tongue in his mouth thursday. fear in his eyes friday.

you can tell I'm normal about this show because of the way I reacted to these birds. LITERALLY two birds on a wire (very much one of their songs) and also when a firetruck drove by every single other bird EXCEPT these two flew away.

“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”

Freeloader Comin’ through!

Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.

Reblogging to save my life

saving a life

Saving lives with this reblog

You go to your friend’s house and Jeff Bezos is there. You’re like “are you insane? That’s Jeff Bezos, he’s evil, we need to throw him out” and your friend tries to convince you that no poor Jeff Bezos has amnesia and is in a lot of trouble so you have to help him. This is insane to you but you’re in love with your friend so you’re like okay…and then Jeff Bezos regains his memories and runs off to live out his queer love story. You’re like “well that was INSANE wasn’t it? Let’s go do boozy brunch to get over it and also I might be in love with you”…..but your friend/love of your life is like “this is awkward but I’m actually the new CEO of Amazon”…….that would be terrible wouldn’t it? Well something really similar happened to my good friend crowley

I'm gonna force you to memorize all the polyatomic ions

this is quite literally what my chemistry teacher did. nobody passed the test

Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself

hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

i leave my mark wherever i go (loose strands of hair)