Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
— ❝ The war is over, but I have been fighting for too long to know what peace is. I will always be at war, I think and every step is to the beat of a drum. My clothing is armour. My smile is my war-paint. Will I ever be at peace? Will I ever stop being at war? I have been fighting since I was a child. I do not know who I am without a war. I do not know who I am when peace is here. ❞
Many of you might have seen this coming but it is safe to say that my time here has come to an end. Maybe I shall shut this book forever or I shall pick it up again sometime soon to carry on writing but as of right now, I am in no state of continuing Junhee’s story. There are many things I can do for her, many ways I can develop her but right now, I do not have the will to go through the pain with her. She had endured so much and I am just sad that I couldn’t give her the ending she deserves.
Recently, I have been in a slump. I am no longer confident in my writing, I never was to begin with and there was simply no motivation to carry on. My mental state has been so terrible to the point I was simply toxic to those around me. Despite having experience with several muses before, it seems that I will never learn how to cope with the strain that roleplaying has on me. I will always have this sort of expectation that others are just as eager to write like I do only I may have come off in the wrong way.
I admit I am not a good person. I always put myself down which in turn may put others down. I am passive aggressive at times only because I don’t trust myself with my own feelings hence, I would always say the wrong things. Which may be the reason why I like roleplaying. I present a better version of myself. A person I would like to become only I didn’t get the chance to. You are always your muse after all.
With that being said, I would like to take the time to extend my gratitude to a number of people who had started off with me on this journey as Junhee. There were many hardships and there are more to come regardless if I carry on as Junhee or not. You might see me again with another face, who knows but for your sake and mine, I will not disclose who I am. I do not want to hurt anyone else like how I already did.
I wish you all the best of luck and the good things in life. Even though I am not well and unhappy, I would want you to be happy instead of asking for happiness for my own. Maybe one day I can say that I am happy with myself and my writing.
@jclectic ; What hurts the most was that I hurt you. A lot. I know what I did and your final words to me made me realise that it was best for me to disappear. Although I couldn't give you happiness, I did love you. You and James. The selfishness I had while I was by your side, don't forgive me for that. I was always bad, rotten and I shouldn’t have gotten so close to you but I always loved you. I'm scared of that lonely solitude, I will always be insecure around you and always think you deserve the best and truthfully I am not what you deserve so I'm sorry for that. Someday I'll come back after I've become a person who won't hinder and after I've become qualified to love you. Then, I'll come back to your side when I'll be able to give you happiness. Even though it hurts, goodbye. For you, goodbye.
@dlvrnce ; You’ve been with me since my very first muse and everywhere I go you would follow. I know we have a few things planned between our muses but you would have to forgive me for this. It seems that whatever we had planned, it would always fall through. No matter what muse, no matter what story we want to write out; it will always fail. I don’t think I could ever run away from you so you know where to find me.
@5zicx ; Even though you are no longer here but you’ve given me the chance to develop Junhee in a way I couldn’t before. Again, I apologise for leaving sooner than I would and abandoning the plot we had for our muses. I know that Junhee would have been very happy to see Ivon once more before she disappears forever and knowing that, I feel extremely guilty for not giving her the chance to do so. Thank you for the memories, the good and the bad. I will take them both and keep it with me and with Junhee’s story.
@pareidvlia ; I am very grateful for knowing you unnie. You were there are my hardest and I did turn to you when I couldn’t do it to anyone else. I am sorry for burdening you with my presence and I hope you would keep on writing because I would very much like to read them. Not as Junhee or as any other muse but as your admirer. If I ever do come back, I would very much hope that you would still be around so we could finally be able to write together. If the opportunity presents itself again but for now, I would have to dismiss that opportunity.
@thvmsprk ; It looks like I will be the one who’s leaving this time. Please take care of yourself alright? I would like to thank you for being the dongsaeng Junhee never had. She really loved Thomas and even though we are unable to expand their story further, I hope you would carry on with your muse. Just how Junhee would always watch him from the sidelines, I would do the same as well and watch you from afar.
@draconivn & @saetvn ; Another couple of dongsaengs that Junhee loved but never once expressed. Again, our interaction with one another was rather short and even though we could have developed their relationship further, time was not forgiving. I hope you know how much your muses meant to Junhee and how much she cared for the both of you. You were the siblings she never had and through you, her maternal instinct showed. An instinct she never once thought she had possessed. I thank you for that.
@modelsooo ; Perhaps the only muse Junhee would ever consider her best friend. It was hard to find someone especially of the same gender to be one’s best friend. And without you and your muse, I wouldn’t think Junhee would ever get to experience any normalcy in her life. If she were to grow up differently, not have to live the life she had to now, she could have all the shopping trips and sleepovers a normal woman could have. So thank you. You and your muse were definitely significants in our lives.
@obsxver ; My delicate flower whom I dearly missed. You were possibly the only person who made me believed that I was a somebody, someone who was worth it. I hope wherever you are, if you are still writing or not, that you are still well and doing fine. I would like to thank you for all the times we’ve spent together despite it being brief.
@nohxminwoo ; I guess we would never get to interact after all. What bad timing it is. You’ve just returned with Minwoo while I am leaving with Junhee and Eve. Thank you for pointing out the wrong in me and sadly, I didn’t change enough to amend whatever wrong I did. I am definitely a bad person. Heh.
@krisanthemvm , @iso2108 , @xinanlide & @consilian ; Our time with one another was brief and perhaps I have spoken to you more as a mun than a muse. I would like to thank life especially for giving me the chance to know such incredible people and writers. Despite our interactions amongst our muses being brief, I would like you to know that you’ve impacted Junhee’s life in one way and myself especially. I admire your writing and you’ve taught me to be a better person and writer. I hope you keep on being yourself and if life is forgiving, I would interact with you once again.
— ❝ Thank you for holding me so warmly. I can live because of this love. ❞
“ breakin’ ankles, shatterin’ dreams. basketball never stops. “
byunghun ‘ thomas ’ park. original character. literate. selective. nsfw.
+ follow for a new friend. reblogs get a starter from this giant baby!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
One day you will meet someone who will see the universe that was knitted into your bones, and the embers of galaxies glow to life in your eyes. And you will finally know what love is supposed to feel like.
A feeling of helplessness was drawing in: by no means he could just leave the chaos he was responsible for. The woman’s final request was a relief, and as if Jingteng had been programmed, he sat down by her belongings, obediently looking after them like they were his own. Something about the picture felt still plain wrong, as he had to silently watch the restaurant workers’ finish off their cleaning. None of them looked his way anymore, treating him as air, an invisible fiend. People from around and behind the windows had begun to withdraw likewise, some of them possibly disappointed in the lack of drama, some possibly certain they had recognized the people wrong.
Jingteng couldn’t tear his eyes off the table’s surface as he waited. Not even when he remembered his own belongings at the other end of the restaurant. He had been crossing the space for straws that were available at the counter. If his bags would be gone by the time he was free to go, he had created an expanding disaster for a simple, childish need for a straw. Somehow it was amusing, but Jingteng didn’t feel like smiling. He’d do that once he reached home, behind closed doors.
This was nothing. It was an accident where it could happen to anyone only, this time, it was her having to be that someone. What shitty luck she had but when did luck ever sided with her. Everything and everyone was against her. She was alone. It had always been this way so why was she expecting anything different?
It took some time for her to clean up but only because she was trying not to fume so much. All this while she had been keeping her anger to herself, her emotions and feelings; they were simply pent up awaiting to explode to an unfortunate victim. But no, she couldn’t do such a thing; that would only draw more attention and she didn’t want that; there was no need for it. Stepping outside again, the food that stained her clothes were merely wiped away and left her with splotches of water, she returned to her table where her things were. “You can go now. I’m going elsewhere.” Junhee was pretty much done with him, done with the day to be exact.
Perhaps if Seoyun knew the other better, opening up about such a topic would have proven easier for the heiress, but instead she could only find herself staring back while silently wondering what the other woman was hoping to accomplish. ❝That is life. You won’t always agree with everything that happens around you, or do you? I might be in the wrong, but I do believe in these expectations. If I didn’t, who would I be?❞ Perhaps it was because her identity was so tightly connected to her family’s wealth and power, that it seemed obscure for Seoyun not to do as her parents asked her to.
Junhee doesn’t need a reminder for what she already knew but maybe she needed someone else to speak the words she kept repeating to herself. It was unfortunate to see someone else, to see her, living the life she may not have wanted. Though their stories were different, their circumstances were definitely not the same but one could draw some similarities between the two women. “Maybe you would be yourself for once. I am aware of your status and your history but surely if someone was to give you full control of your life, you would rewrite who you are now, no?”
If the other truly did understand Seoyun’s situation, then how come the unnecessary questions? It threw the heiress off, though she would never openly admit to that. ❝My life, as I just described it. Things are expected of me and it would be highly contraproductive for me to let my emotions guide me.❞ So she didn’t, end of story. Was that so hard to believe, or was it Seoyun who was actually in the wrong? The woman couldn’t even tell anymore.
People don’t wear masks without a simple reason. They don’t wear it just for fun nor they just felt like it. No. Their true faces have been broken hence the need for masks. So what is her reason? Her real reason. “So it is your obligation to meet those expectations? Even if those expectations go against what you believe in?” Junhee was simply poking at her with these question, trying to see which sort buttons she needed to push to struck a nerve within the girl. Why? Maybe Junhee longed to find a kindred spirit.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The words the other woman spoke only further confirmed Seoyun’s belief that she wasn’t quite as comfortable whenever she was surrounded by people who were hard to read. She herself fell under that category too, and despite acting oblivious she could very well see the point behind the other’s reasoning, but what did that change? She was still going to remain the same person, whether the other approved or not. ❝It is of advantage to myself to control my facial expression, gestures and thoughts. If you live in a world like mine, a simple mistake can already cost you a lot and in order to avoid that from happening, we are brought up this way. To maintain control over ourselves is highly important and shouldn’t be disregarded easily.❞
“Oh but I do know what you mean. I quite understand what sort of world you live in.” It was up to the other to believe her words because Junhee knew perfectly well what it meant to have total control, especially over the things that were in one’s reach. But what interest her more was to what reason the other might had to appear so ... impassive. Who has broken her heart for her to be so guarded? “So is that your reason? So you wouldn’t be taken advantage of?”
What a way to gather attention. On the other hand, such tragicomedies suited him better than following an ordinary, error-free route in life. Jingteng’s face was contorted with horror and disbelief, and the simple word of apology had gotten stuck in his throat. His eyes were fixed on the woman whose clothes were littered due to his clumsiness, and frozen in place, he could barely barely bat an eye for the hustle behind. Sometimes, often, he bumped into strangers, smacked them with his arms, as he was never quite aware of the space around him. It seemed as if everyone was always either too close while staying far off, or within safe distance when in fact they stood only inches apart.
Causing fuss in public was still something Jingteng had managed to avoid thus far. “I’m so sorry,” the words finally dashed past his lips, and he bowed several times before extending his hands, hoping someone to offer him a mop, napkin, anything to help the situation with. More staff had appeared to the scene, and were quietly trying to erase away traces of the accident. “I can compensate for the damage,” Jingteng spoke towards the scowling waiter, then returned his attention to the woman. “For you especially, anything. Are you all right?”
In all her life Junhee hated drawing unnecessary attention. Be it when she was in school or when she grew up to be an adult (especially with the sort of job she had). She did everything that she could just so she would stay out of everyone's eye, to stay low and just carry on with her own life. Because with this mess that she was covered in, everyone began to look at her, they began to talk about her. She might not be too self-conscious but no, this was not what she wanted.
"Just ... go away," she waved her hand to dismiss him. It was fortunate for her that her laptop was unharmed in this sudden hurricane, that was what mattered more anyway. Closing her laptop, she simply got up only to dart her eyes at the waiter who seemed to be trembling under her stare before he made a beeline to the back room to get a mop probably. Her eyes then looked at the stranger once more. Junhee was a silent thunderstorm, she was angry, frustrated of course for her unfortunate luck but she could not show it. "Look after my things for me. I'll excuse myself to the bathroom to clean up." It wasn't a request, it was more of an order before she walked away; trying to correct what he did to her.
Her gaze wandered over to the doorway as best as she could, the neck brace preventing her from turning her head too much and she smiled weakly at the older, watching her greet Van. “Junhee-senpai,” she spoke softly in return as the elder approached her.
Her left side was free to adjust herself on the bed so she was sitting higher up on the bed and her father made a move but she responded with, “I’m fine, I’m fine. I think… I’ve got it.” Just a small kick of her leg to push her up and she got herself to sit up, but it was an effort on her chest that she grimaced and grabbed the pillow to put to her chest as she coughed. “S-Sorry.” She took a moment to set into her spot and smiled at Junhee.
“Sorry about that, Senpai. I don’t think you met my father yet,” she spoke, as if what just happened didn’t affect her at all. “Otou-sama, this is Junhee-senpai. She’s the one who had been mentoring me when I came to Earth. Junhee-senpai, my father, King Van Fanel of Fanelia.” Once again, Van bowed in response. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other, Senpai.”
She looked terrible. As much as Junhee wouldn’t want to admit but her heart ached to see the younger in such a state. Not everyone was built to endure such pain. Which is why she made herself a soldier, a sacrifice, just so others wouldn’t have to. “Don’t strain yourself now.”
She allowed the younger to adjust herself on the bed with much effort. From the looks of it, she had broken so many bones and judging from the reports she could gather, the impact was more on her side of the car. Of course, it would, she was the target after all. Looking away from the awful sight, she turned to man; this time giving him a 90° bow before introducing herself in Japanese; recalling they were of Japan origin. It would ease the father’s heart knowing she was able to speak the language, making it easier for him to understand that she knew of his daughter greatly. She then explained of how his wife had employed her before to act as his daughter’s guard only to be replaced by her current one. Anything to reassure the man she meant no harm.
“I would have liked it if we had meant on different terms, Zaria. You look like a mess,” she tried to joke, offering a strained smile. “How are you holding up?”
Sangwoo loved to drink alcohol, but truthfully, he’d rather drink at his own pace, in the company of a small group of friends. Instead, he was dragged by senior co-workers to a dingy bar a few blocks from the workplace. There, they poured him a shot he couldn’t refuse every time he downed one. They did the same to a younger female co-worker, who could no longer sit up straight an hour into the gthering. When they decided to end the drinking spree near midnight, the seniors tasked Sangwoo to bring the poor woman home.
He managed to bring her home, but his luck and tenacity couldn’t last until he got home himself. With barely any energy to keep, he decided to take a seat on the ground to give his muscles much needed rest while waiting for a cab to pass by, resting his back against the apartment building’s wall.
That was his intention, at least. The next thing he knew, there was something that moved against his foot, the sun was peeking from the horizon, and there was a tall woman he had never seen before standing in front of him. There was a puddle of sick by his legs, which were sprawled across the pavement. His head hurt so much that getting rid of his head altogether seemed like a good idea. He could barely remember why he was there, and where he even was.
“What– where am I?” he asked, confused as he looked around to glean a few answers from the surroundings. “Who are you? How long have I been here?”
There were several assumptions that Junhee could think of for how the man ended up here but she dared not to voice them out loud. She didn’t want to anger a drunken man, they’re unpredictable in such a state and Junhee liked being in control, being able to predict just so she could have the upper hand. For all her life she was taught how to assess the situation, to calculate every move as if that move would be her last. But this was no war zone, this was no battle nor fight so why the need to be so uptight? Old habits were just hard to break.
“An alleyway in Hongdae. Who I am is irrelevant but from the looks of it you blacked out for … 15 minutes? Probably more or less. Can’t be too sure about it.”
Because she hadn’t been keeping track of the time. She was merely floating as of now. Just … waiting for something to happen, waiting to be called to be called upon for her next assignment. But she knew she only spent 15 minutes in that pub. She always did when she used to live in Seoul. 2 bottles of beer and a shot of vodka for good measure; all downed in 15 minutes.
Tapping the concrete ground, Junhee looked over at the man; angling her head so she could see him much better despite being in a dark alleyway. She had not seen him before, has she? It would only cause her more trouble if it was, the trouble she did not need. Not after she had met her old friend in New York on assignment, out of all the places; she had to meet her. The world was a small place after all.
“Can you get up on your own? I only wake you up to save you from the rats that might come to you since you pretty much stench of the dinner you might had. Come on now, get up.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
untamed locks disposed in raven disarray, sable charcoal ‘gainst sun-kissed husk of flesh and psyche immersed in dulcet symphonies; mellow temperament in situ, he delves once again into her scent, a fragrance long incorporated into his memory ( though a reminder could never hurt ).
❝ i like to be sure that i’m keeping you happy, that’s all. ❞
evincing of mellifluous sentiments by means of languid touch, terpsichorean gliding of fingertips o’er each dip and arc of perfectly sculptured frame, digits finding and twining with her elegant ones. he was the very CREATURE they warned of in chthonic tales, a discordant, feral entity, and she the personification of seraphic pulchritude, a goddess in her own right— yet both were irrevocably bound by heart, mind and soul alike. ❝ what would you like for breakfast ? ❞
What is affection? It’s scarier than love. It’s hard to erase. And every day for as long as they were together, he constantly bathed her in such affection that it made her heart ached (but in a good way of course). For it had been so long since she last loved, thinking maybe she had forgotten how to. Her heart has closed up yet somehow he had managed to open it and claim it for his own. Was this love to begin with? It might be or it might be not but she was happy with this.
“You always make me happy ... well, most of the time.
Her eyes curved up into half moons as she teased him. He should know well that he does make her happy. Always. Happy enough for her to forget that she was even sad, that the cold that she was enclosed in for so long disappeared momentarily when she was with him. “Burnt toast? ... Or pancakes. I don't think you would want the added carbon in your diet."
❝What do you mean by that? Whatever I may or may not be thinking stands in no relation to my outer appearance. I could be thinking about how to save the world and yet, you wouldn’t know of that. My face is not an open book, as it shouldn’t be. With all due respect, I don’t quite understand where you are coming from.❞
“Well, there are some people who randomly smile when there’s no reason to it but they later explain that they were smiling because of something they were just thinking about. It’s similar to when someone just laughs out of the blue. But I apologise. It seems that I have offended you. I am just curious how someone could have so much control in their expression; which I am assuming you are always controlling it. Just ... what may be the reason behind it?”
