Giving Is

by Kimberly Park

Some give for the betterment of a cause - be it water, shelter, food or disaster relief. Some give to make another smile. Some give just for the sake of the volunteering spirit. Some give just to have something to write for a college admission essay. Some give to spread the word of the Gospel. Some give so that their country stands a fighting chance. Some give to receive more money after taxes.

Is there such a thing as genuine altruism? Can any act of giving be completely selfless or is there an underlying motive? The answers to these questions have been argued back and forth by various fields and various experts, leaving the act of giving in a state of controversy. In lieu of all this, now, envision a balance scale. One side carries the weight of the many reasons why people give. The other side carries the weight of what happens after the act of giving. In my mind, I imagine an instant thud - with the latter carrying more weight. There are so many powerful side effects that result with one act of giving.

Now I ask again, is there such a thing as genuine altruism. Regardless the answer, I believe, giving is something totally individual, something totally unique that cannot be shared by another. Whether or not we derive some sort of benefit from an act of giving, it does not matter. I believe that what is truly at stake here is the fact that you are experiencing a sensation that can only be shared with yourself. Let's take Habitat for Humanity volunteers for example. All of these volunteers work towards one goal - to help create opportunities for and to give hope to an impoverished family by building or renovating a new home. But what do each volunteer take from this experience? Some may feel accomplished. Some may feel humbled. Some may feel inspired. This is why giving is so powerful - it evokes so many different, incomparable emotions.

Yet, there is a whole other side. There is a collective effect as well. With one act of giving, it triggers a whole chain reaction. I hate to do this but let's include some logic (LSAT sufferer here). A --> B; B --> C; ergo, A--> C. Let's take TOMS shoes. An unintentional act of giving. An individual (A) may have bought a pair of red Tom's shoes just as a fashion statement (B). Unbeknownst to him/her, TOMS advocates a One for One Movement - for every pair of shoes purchased, the company would match it by giving a pair of shoes for a child in need (C). This cute red pair of shoes has given this poverty-stricken child not only new shoes but more opportunities as well. With actual shoes on his/her feet, the child can play sports and explore some hidden athletic talents. Through this collaborative, yet inadvertent string of events, the separate parties can give something to someone and achieve this act of giving completely unintentionally.

Giving is more than the individual, it is more than the group. Giving is beyond any type of action and outstrips any kind of emotion generated. Giving is done in various ways, through various people, and generates various emotions for the giver and the receiver -- giving is multi-faceted.

Giving is... universal.

by Heidi Chang

Giving happens when someone loves someone else, and love is a language that all people, regardless of age, sex, race, culture, or region, understand.

Heidi Chang is BU ASH's chapter secretary. Although soft-spoken, her vibrant personality can be seen through her funny yet lengthy story-telling skills. Notice her in a sea of faces by the variety of colorful bows she wears in her hair!

Giving is... hope.

by Eric Yu

Giving can be unconventional. As an unemployed student, I don't have the resources to donate hundreds of dollars to charity every month. I give what I can- my love and passion for music. And this provides people with a hope that monetary gifts simply can't. I believe music can provide joy and healing to others as it has for me and that's why I want to give music.

Giving is... selfless action.

by Jessica Shipman

We are driven by a culture of giving to receive. You help your friend move because you know you’re moving in three weeks and you expect him to be there. You donate to charity because you receive a tax return, or a t-shirt. So many cultural norms have developed out of this cyclical mentality. We don’t waste our time on behaviors or take action unless they provide us something in return.

I believe true, generous, heartfelt giving has nothing to do with what you receive in return. In fact, when you give you should not expect or anticipate anything at all. You give because you want to and you know it is right.

Several years ago, I interviewed a little girl’s mother in the slums of Arusha, Tanzania with the intent of capturing her story and to visually explain why they need someone to sponsor the child’s education. I believed this video would change someone else’s perception on poverty and convince them to sponsor. I started asking questions and the mother held herself high as she explained how her husband died unexpectedly several years ago, she cannot work but sell a few vegetables a day, and she has four children to care for on less then a dollar a day. She has no family around her to help and her mud hut was in a horrible state. Then she began to show us the outhouse her family had overgrown. If she only had her husband around, he would fix it… but he wasn’t there. And then tears began to fall, first from her eyes, and then from mine.

I stopped filming and walked away feeling the weight of the world upon my shoulders. I had never heard a story quite like it and now that I was aware, I felt I had to do what I believed was right.

I have been working ever since then to help families like hers, knowing I will receive nothing in return from them. Every day I find a sponsor for a new student, or complete the construction of a new classroom, I remember how it felt that day talking with that one mother, and pray that I really am helping them live a better life.

There is nothing wrong with giving to get in return, but learning and understanding the true beauty and meaning of giving will open your heart and mind.

Giving is... everything.

by charity: water

charity: water is a non-profit organization bringing clean, safe drinking water to people in nations. We use 100% of public donations to directly fund sustainable water solutions in areas of greatest need.

Right now, 800 million people on the planet don’t have access to clean and safe drinking water. That’s one in nine of us.

Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of diseases and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war. Children are especially vulnerable, as their bodies aren’t strong enough to fight diarrhea, dysentery and other illnesses.

Just $20 can give one person access to clean water.

Giving is... the spirit I want to cultivate.

by Kendra Stanton Lee

Giving is... subtle.

by Daniel Kim

Giving is subtle. It happens in those quick moments... those moments we often forget so easily. Giving comes from a smile, a hand shake, a wave or even a hug. That split second encounter can mean the world. Even in the simple exchange of a hug from one friend to another, every intimate moment, every talk, every laugh, every tear, every prayer can be summed up into that split second moment. Within that one gesture there is more understanding and love than any amount of words can describe. When one gives, they give a part of themselves... So I think it is safe enough to say that Giving. Is. You.

Giving is... making memories with people you love.

by Jay Chen

That $20 gift card to that clothing store will be used for a shirt that will eventually go out of style. That ten piece tea set will become chipped and live out the rest of its life in the corner of a dusty cupboard. That box of chocolates that you thought would make a really great gift? Probably will be re-gifted – lets be honest.

The best gift is one that lasts forever.

You might say, but isn’t it the thought that counts? Quite right, it is the literal “thought” that counts. Memories last a life time – most other things don’t.

Throughout different periods of my life, I have made many friendships – some have dwindled while others have grown stronger. And now as a senior in college, I am at the crossroads of a new period of my life, where the uncertainty of the real world looms right in front of me, and the relationships I have amassed thus far will certainly be tested. Despite the inevitable change that will happen, I know that deep down, the memories I have made with the people I love will always be a part of me. These memories are what shape and define me as a person, and I am thankful for everyone that has contributed to them.

Live life every day as if it were your last – or as people nowadays say, “YOLO.”

The next time you reach for that wrapping paper (or old newspaper if you’re a poor college student, a hipster, or both) think again. At the end of the day, it is the people around us that matter the most. Create memories with them. Do something exciting. Be spontaneous. Take risks.

Giving is... consistent.

by Hannah Song

My freshmen year, I attended a meeting of some sort in which I was introduced to World Vision. After the meeting, I was overwhelmed with this urgent need to pick up a card to essentially provide for a child and his/her family. Without giving it any thought, I held this card with a picture of a little girl and a brief description of who she was and walked back to my dorm room, excited to start this incredible journey with someone I have never met.

A couple of months after, I was back home in California for winter break. Right before New Years, my bank account was overdrafted for the first time on my very first debit card that was created in the beginning of my freshmen year. I was shocked as to how $35 was so "blindsided-ly" taken away from me, when in reality, I had just forgotten that the first donation was to be immediately taken out of my bank account right before New Years. Being the ignorant child I was—although it has only been 3 years since this happened—I was instantly angry and confused, eroding all the initial excitement and so-I-thought "selfless" feeling when I first picked up that card. I, almost unwillingly, donated for a couple of months—in fact, I felt nothing but an obligation to do so. Given the fact that I lived off of no allowance and instead, the little money I earned from working at my school, I barely went through a few months before I had to discontinue my sponsorship to this child whom I never met, but once—almost too suddenly—fell in love with as soon as I picked up her card. In some sense, I remember feeling relieved because I felt as though a "burden" was lifted off my chest.

I'm not at all proud of this story, nor did it end happily-ever-after. What I realized, however, is that giving, to me, should be consistent. It has to be consistent. It can't be paired with your fickle emotions and your ever-changing mindset of what you want/don't want to do at a given time. It has to be consistent, and as cliché as it may sound, it literally has to come from within. Whether it's something as intangible as lifting up a prayer, or giving to receive a tangible object in return, giving is a steadfast idea that cannot, and should not, be dictated/driven by your feelings. This concept of giving that can be physically seen, as well as intangibly felt isn't something that one should do when one wants to feel good about him/herself.

It's a selfless act that one should consistently invest in doing because you never know who you might be blessing/hurting on the other end. It's not always, all about you.

Giving is... love.

by Stacy Min

Giving is... personal.

by Grace Ko

I've always struggled with math -- funny, considering how society expects every Asian to excel in this subject. Something about its logic and rigidity never made any sense to little 'ol me. My mom never understood how I couldn't grasp such a rational subject and wondered where the lack of math genes went. My hate for math can be supported by the way I process my thoughts. If you had the power to read minds, mine would be a web of utter chaos that has absolutely no reasoning to it, which supports what seems obvious by now to all of you reading this.. I don't do well with numbers.

Sames goes for statistics.

As resourceful as stats are for gauging how successful a company is operating or what the public needs are, numbers also have a way of numbing us to the being of people. When we read of casualties of war in the news or learn about the number of kids that die each day from lack of proper nutrition and clean water, we can't help but be desensitized to the numbers. People become logical, rigid, rational numbers and we overlook the deep culture, story and complexity behind each individual.

I've become a victim to it and I'm sure you've become one too. I need to be sober- minded and intentional in my giving by seeing that I'm not just giving to a number but to someone's parent, someone's child, someone's loved one. It's a personal act, not a game of numbers.

In some ways, I'm glad I don't do well with numbers...and to some respect, you shouldn't too.

Giving is... a privilege.

by Eric Choi

“Giving” lends many meanings. Even a slight glance through this campaign confirms its flexibility, and relative/subjective nature. But despite its many interpretations, there’s a simple underlying truth of giving that grants us privilege: when we give, we always receive.

It’s a modest equation. You give ‘x’, and you get ‘y’. And though the variables are vast, the results are consistent. However, as people, we tend to overanalyze and exaggerate simple truths. We lose sight of initially giving, and drown in worry of what we’ll get and expect. We systematically program our lives to go-get, rather than to go-give. We forget that the people we consider successful and rich in character are those who dedicate their lives to giving, sharing, and serving. Take three of the most influential people of the past year in Steve Jobs, Oprah, or Chef Jose Andres. Each stratospherically successful, and each devoted to giving the world something special. Like them, we are also blessed with an opportunity to give, and are privileged to receive when we do.

Giving varies in agendas that are all unpredictable. But let’s have faith in the process and principal. Let’s remember that having the chance to give is unparalleled to anything we can get. Let’s seek out what we individually give best, and do so with consistency and sincerity.

Giving is... taking risks.

by Praise Hong

In my book, the act of giving involves taking a certain degree of risk with the receiving end. Whether it is material goods or a room in your heart that you’re giving away, you choose to entrust the receiver with something that belonged to you. For people as paranoid and mistrusting as I can be, some fears and questions come into picture: What if they take advantage of me? What if my gift ends up in the wrong hands? What if I get hurt?

By nature, we as human beings are designed to welcome what is beneficial to us and block out what isn’t—this tendency is increasingly more present as we gain more life experiences. Some wounds make us stronger in a good way, while others leave scars that prevent us from encountering the better things in life. The more closed off we become, the more it blinds us to the positive, rewarding side of giving.

Like it or not, giving often requires the willingness to be vulnerable and trusting, even if past mistakes and encounters raise the red flag. Perhaps the charity you offer doesn’t yield the kind of fruit you hoped it would. Or the person you chose to invest in didn’t reciprocate the same efforts. You may be unsure of how your contribution will help others. Believe me, I also have experienced all of these things. But people, myself included, will always continue giving because we know there are things as small as seeing a smile on someone’s face that make giving so worth the risk. After all, what’s life without taking chances?

Giving is... to living as exhaling is to breathing.

by Rev. Joseph R. Veneroso, M.M.

Giving is to living as exhaling is to breathing. If you're not giving for half of your life, you are not fully alive, anymore than someone who continually holds their breath and then has to gasp for air is correctly breathing.

Giving involves much more than simply redistributing money or material goods from one person or group to another. I myself was a sucker for that ASPCA ad showing pathetic puppies and kittens looking out with "those eyes" while Sarah McLachlin sang "Angel" in the background. I melted like cheap cheese on a hot sidewalk. Before the commercial finished I had called the number on the screen and pledged $19 a month.

This demonstrates the lowest yet nonetheless valid reason for giving: to assuage guilt, real or imagined. My donation absolved me of responsibility for not rushing to the nearest animal shelter and adopting all their current residents. But here's the problem: my automatic contribution needs no further investment of thought or energy. Sure it helps the ASPCA, but requires little involvement or concern from me.

Giving to panhandlers poses a dilemma for us "bleeding hearts." Yes, they'll probably spend it on booze--or worse--and that is reason enough to ignore them. Should they appear young and able-bodied bolsters our decision with self-righteous indignation. "Get a job!" we might think or say.

When I lived in South Korea in the 1970s and 1980s, seeing beggars in the streets of Seoul was a fairly common occurrence. Orphans and runaways (at least those who looked like orphans and runaways) were especially effective. I passed one such kid in the same spot everyday on the overpass near the then-Peace Corps headquarters near Kwang Wha Mun intersection. The kid seemed so pathetic. I never saw his face as he knelt, with hands out, head to the ground. One day after I gave him a few Won, I was told these kids usually worked in a group for an older beggar, who assigned prize locations and extracted a sizable percentage of each day's haul. But I could not resist the urge to help, to do something, to give. The next day as I crossed the overpass, I saw the kid in his usual spot. This time, I gave him a corn dog. Without lifting his head, he grasped the stick and pulled it slowly in toward his mouth.

When I visited very Buddhist Thailand, I changed my attitude towards begging and alms-giving. Every male is expected to serve some time as a monk. Even the king did this as a youth. Every morning, the streets of Bangkok came alive with monks going from door to door to silently ask for monetary donations or food offerings. And the local merchants and residents would stand in their doorways with trays of offerings to hand out to the monks, reminiscent of trick-or-treating in the States.

I spoke with several monks. They said they view their begging as offering people a way to acquire merit, or karma. So the monks were in fact giving people an opportunity to show generosity!

We can relate to panhandlers on a personal level without being material. I learned this lesson from a beggar near Columbia University where I was studying journalism in 1987. Our assignment was to interview a homeless person. I made an appointment to interview this middle-aged man and invited him to breakfast the next morning. As we settled into our seats at the counter, I asked what he'd like. "Nothing for me, thanks," he said, "I already had breakfast."

That stopped me. I thought I had hit upon a way to get an interview, feed a beggar and feel good about myself all for the cost of a cheap meal. "I just like to talk with people," he explained. He wanted my most precious gift: my time.

Money I can replenish; things I can replace. But time is the one thing we have a limited supply of and once it's gone, it never comes back. But to spend time, quality time, with another person, especially those down on their luck, or sick, or elderly, is in my opinion, one of the greatest "things" we can give.

I have also come to realize the "what" we give is not as important as the "how." We can donate automatically, like I did to the ASPCA, or consciously as I did to the beggar boy, or intentionally as I might do when visiting folks in a retirement home. A smile and sincere "Hey, how are you today?" feeds the spirit as surely as a few bucks may (or may not) do towards feeding the stomach. While the person might beg to differ, a smile and personal greeting seem more valuable than a $100 bill thrown in indifference without so much as eye-contact.

Letting a person know I actually do see them and acknowledge them as a fellow resident of this city, country and planet, does much to restore dignity and self-respect. Mine, no less than theirs.

Giving is... Reciprocal.

by Jason Paik

Whenever someone gives something to someone else, there is always a weight of burden against the giver, regardless how big or small.

At the very basic definition of “giving”, the giver actually gets nothing physically in return or else "giving" essentially loses its meaning. "Giving" entails owning up what you lose and living in a culture so deeply rooted in self-interest, the act of giving, even at times in my own life, has often changed into something more obligatory than something taken out of in sincerity.

But why do I think giving is reciprocal?

Even if there is no reward for that someone who gives, I have realized giving is more than just a one-way street but a window for someone to find satisfaction if he or she chooses to look for it. Giving, on one end, equips the recipient with something he or she doesn’t deserve or else the word "giving" looks more like the word "helping" than its original selfless definition. But on the other end, giving provides the pleasure the giver seeks if one gives in true earnestness and without any conditions.

Giving doesn't promise an immediate reaction of thankfulness or repayment. It doesn't help you financially in any way and more often than not, your gifts will often go unnoticed and become forgotten about in week’s times than anything.

But the beauty of true altruism stems in finding contentment even if one doesn't receive something in return. The splendor of giving is ironically in the loss than in the gain.

Giving is... friendship.

by Jennifer Kim

Closing off yet another school year and watching new graduates leave, it's hard to imagine where I would be without my friends. Their words, attitudes, and actions have aided in the becoming and molding of what is incessantly known as the 'new me.' In all my imperfections, they have continuously shown me love and understanding throughout the years, teaching me humility over pride, altruism over self-interest, giving instead of taking.

Through their sacrifices, they have revealed the measures they would take outside of their comfort zone to provide me with undeserving care. [Even if it means tolerating something as miniscule as my horrible storytelling skills.]

And by their unconditional acts of giving, they have demonstrated that humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking less about yourself and more about others.

So this is a cheers to our friends who have taught us the deeper meaning of what giving truly is.

Giving is... talent.

by Jane Nam

By talent, I don't mean that the act of giving demands a certain degree of flair/aptitude from the person doing the deed...nor do I think that the art of giving is a special sort of "gift" that only some people have and can do.

Sometimes, giving is so deeply associated with us having to exhaust our time, money and energy that we forget we are already giving in inadvertent ways which don't require much effort at all. This is where talent comes in.

Whether our talent lies in our musical abilities, our mastery at telling awesome jokes, or just being an unparalleled listener &emdash; we are providing something to someone everyday. Some share their passion for playing the saxophone in the bustles of Grand Central Terminal. This gives tired commuters a nice tune to listen to as they swipe through the crowded turnstiles in the evening rush hour [not a good example as we all know how jaded New Yorkers can be to these things, but you get what I mean!]. Some were just born with a knack for being funny and providing their friends with an unlimited supply of laughter. Others are great at giving people the purity of their attention and listening wholeheartedly to what they have to say.

Giving doesn't have to necessarily involve monetary donations, physical labor or extensive planning. We can simply do the things we love or are good at, which can generate joy, laughter or happiness in others. I think that acknowledging our individual talents and capitalizing on them for a greater, communal purpose is even better and can make just as much of a positive impact.

After all... it's the simple things in life that keeps us trekking along :)