a person (allegedly)

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

you're telling me i have one task, minimal oversight, no time pressure, and every time i complete my goal I get to take a break while walking back down the mountain, during which time I am free to be myself and enjoy the pleasure of my own company in brief respite from my labor? Damn, i could imagine myself happy...

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

you get a comment on tumblr. it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a DM. it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a message on instagram. its a bot trying to scam you. you're an author and you get an email telling you how much they loved your book and want to showcase it at their bookclub. it's a bot trying to scam you (and it uses bad AI to pretend it knows your story). you get a comment on ao3 saying how much they love your fic - and they made you fanart!! it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a hate comment on ao3 which insults your writing or calls you a monster for writing something "problematic". it's a bot. but at least that one isn't trying to scam you.

okay come forward which of you reposted this to reddit lmao I SEE YOU

Okay everybody go leave a comment on the fics you're reading, find your favorite author's social media and tell them you liked their book, and comment on your favorite artist's YouTube or Bandcamp page, go go gooooo.

Welcome to the no note rotating vape guys post

Video game boss that's all bellowing bravado and big untargeted fuck-your-life attacks that hit half the arena, then for phase two they're like "hold up'' and put on a pair of ridiculously tiny glasses, and suddenly they're ten times as dangerous because now they can actually see what they're aiming at.

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

Since tumblr is rightfully loving this one, I feel obligated to mention that I ran into the same guy again on the last day of the convention and told him Scribe was really entertained by this, and he said that the night before he'd also really gotten one of the hotel waitresses, who informed him he could take a seat wherever and he replied "Oh, no thanks, I brought my own"

The Baba Is You modding community is sort of the exact opposite of every other video gaming modding community in that the troll levels are actually more interesting and accessible than the ones that purport to take the game and its design principles seriously. The "serious" level packs are like "here's a level that expects you to keep track of thirty plus unmodifiable rules and accepts exactly one valid solution which obliges you to carry out a two hundred step procedure to pile six different instructions on top of each other and exploit an obscure text stacking priority mechanic in a way that's deeply counterintuitive but technically base-game legal", while the "troll" level packs are like "let's see how long it takes them to notice that the pause button is an interactable object", and I'm 100% prepared to argue that the latter is more true to the base game's driving ethos than the former.

honestly I hate “can you pet the dog?!?” not for any of the common reasons but because it was initially interesting as a proposition of “can you interact with the world in a way that is not within the primary mechanical loop” and that very quickly fell away to being “well now any indie developer making a game has to have a pet the dog button or they’re going to get letters”

One of my dream projects has an NPC with a dog, and if you try to pet it, the owner tells you not to do that. If you try again, it bites you and you take damage. I want to do this entirely because I genuinely believe that this would make me feel way more grounded in the world than any “click button to see cute animation” would ever do, and also it would be really funny to have a game where people lose their runs because they tried to pet a dog they were told not to pet

Please god it would be so funny

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

if count binface wins it will be the funniest thing thats ever happened in Clacton. i have mates in clacton and i'm buying a pint for everyone who votes binface.