Turtle Chief

me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?

there's probably no limit to the amount of corpses you can carry. but, I don't know

i’m not “lazy” i’m just a fragile victorian maiden. i can only handle 1-2 mildly taxing activities a day before i have to put myself down for a nap until dinner

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

I married the girl I wrote this about and if that isn’t hope for you almost 1 milllion thirsty motherfuckers idk what is

Wait did this

Did this really happen

Reblog for good luck