Ginger Lemon Tea ☕️

moldova:

Here is what I have learned:

Pussy

And salads, it’s part of a balanced diet

Norwegian wolves like bananas or something

You’ve heard of hot girl summer now get ready for ballad song spring

Are you actually in Eurovision if there isn’t some choreographed bumping and grinding

Okay but like are their costumes supposed to be wolves? Bananas with teeth? Did a wolf get knocked up by a banana? I have so many questions

I am not 100% certain of the name of the mad lad from Ukraine who was dancing like that but my god he can get it

Italy and Spain are upset with each other? I think? Unclear. I saw a lot of mentions of Italy and very little elaboration.

The final is apparently going to be boring because the censors are all cowards

There is a not-insignificant push to get the crowd to scream “pussy” during the final to protest Latvia’s ouster, they’re right and they should all say it very loudly

Okay but I’m hung up on this wolf banana thing. Like it’s sexual, right? Is it? Am I just too deep in the internet? I literally cannot tell, I just see these dudes in yellow lycra with little foam teeth pasted on what the hell am I suppose to do with that

Wait shit if it’s not supposed to be sexual I sound like a pervert MOVING ON

Turquoise carpet is the girl they tell Met Gala not to worry about

I do not know what the juries look like but I’m imagining a panel just. A supervillain-scale conference room table full of balding old white men with identically depressing briefcases

Obligatory dragging Britain through the mud

Interestingly most of the UK roasting posts I saw were written by Brits, further reinforcing my theory that you all have a humiliation kink

Okay but like, regardless of whether or not it’s meant to be inherently sexual, are the banana wolves furries? They have no fur. But like not all furies are actually furry, you know?

There is a full on “avenge Latvia” movement to establish their right to say “pussy” on international television and honestly it’s one of the more unifying and inspiring moments I’ve seen in Eurovision in a few years

Still not sure what the deal with Italy or Spain is, help

I have not been able to determine who this dude is with the plants all in his beard but I want to see his Pinterest board

Okay but seriously though, is this what happens when you give furries acid?? Acid, Adobe aftereffects and lycra????

The “cat with salad meme” sequel exceeds expectations

like, can I go to work every day and earn a paycheck? yeh. Can I sustain a small circle of friends and go on a few dates every few months? pretty much. can I feed myself and get a passable amount of sleep? most the time

is my apartment absolutely littered with laundry and trash? yes as well. Have a done dishes in the last week? nope. have I been 10-30 minutes late to almost every engagement in the last year? yep. have I forgotten to shower for 4-5 days, like every other week? yeehaw 

I know people look at me and are like, ‘God, she has her shit together, God I wish I could do that,’ but I’m sitting here feeling like an anxiety disaster half-person

I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you.