It’s not unreasonable to ask for water with no ice and a lemon. If you say it eloquently, no one will bat an eye. If you add a long disclaimer (ie. “This is going to sound SO high maintenance but can I…”) you’re going to sound tacky, and like you’re going out of your way to sound difficult to please. The words “May I please…” before asking for something go a long way. May I please have bottled still water with no ice and a lemon. May I please have a 12oz Waygu stake rare. May I please have a Lamborghini Aventador for my birthday. Not “Sorry I’m so difficult but can I have…” Not “give me…” Not “I want…” Not “Do you mind…” Not anything else. With no explanation. This subtle change in your verbiage takes you from bratty and entitled, to polite with no extra effort required of you. 

You might not like my answer; but read. Read MULTIPLE works. The goal of manipulation is to change people’s perception of you. 

I feel like everyone recommends Ho Tactics and it seems to have been effective. I couldn’t make it past the first chapter though, so I never read it. The works of Robert Greene have great strategy (The Art of Seduction, 48 Laws of Power, 33 Strategies of War) and are a gateway. 

My advice would be to look into Philosophy, Psychology & Sociology which make up Social Engineering (strategy, deception, etc.). To get the ball rolling, here are some works that I recommend in no particular order:

The Prince – Niccolò Machiavelli

The Art of War – Sun Tzu

Hagakure – Yamamoto Tsunetomo

Strategy - B.H. Liddell Hart

On War - Carl von Clauswitz

Influence: Science and Practice (The Psychology of Persuasion) – Robert Cialdini

How to Win Friends & Influence People – Dale Carnegie

Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking – Chris Hadnagy

Covert Persuasion: Psychological Tactics and Tricks to Win the Game – Kevin Hogan & James Speakman

Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again – David J. Lieberman

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World - Jack Weatherford

The Art of Worldly Wisdom - Baltasar Gracián y Morales

It’s Not All About Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone – Robin Dreeke

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People – Joe Navarro

Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage – Paul Ekman

A very important thing before you even get into manipulation is learning how to control yourself and understanding why you think and act the way you do. Here’s some recommendations:

Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind – Al Ries & Jack Trout

Thinking, Fast and Slow –  Daniel Kahneman

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions – Dan Ariely

The Social Animal – David Brooks

The Laws of Human Nature – Robert Greene

Philosophy also plays a major role. I quite enjoy the works, and apply some of the philosophical outlooks of Thucydides, Seneca the Younger, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Zeno of Citium. 

I am typically very nervous and anxious before a POT date. In order for me to feel more comfortable, I came up with a script so I have talking point to avoid awkward silences.

Before a date I typically heavily research their job and look up a few current events articles that pertain to their career. This is to get an idea of not only how much they make but their job responsibilities so we can have an interactive conversation when we speak about his job.

Script Format:

Introduction

I ask how his day was

Then I ask if he has been to the restaurant before

If yes, does he come here often? What does he recommend?

If no, I heard great things about the restaurant. Apparently, the (name of dish) is to die for!

Talk about the ambiance, vibe, and decor of the restaurant

Then I have 3 Phases of questions prepared

Phase 1: Work

So you are a (his job title) that is so interesting I’d love to hear more about it.

Follow up questions

How do you like your job?

Where did you go to school?

What was your major?

What made you choose this career?

Use words like interesting, fascinating, paramount, etc. when responding. This basically inflates his ego while showing him you’re interested in what he has to say.

Phase 2: Get To Know You Questions

What do you do outside of work?

What are your hobbies?

Do you prefer watching tv shows or movies?

What shows/movies do you watch?

Do you like to read?

What are some your favorite books?

What is your favorite type of food? Favorite restaurant?

Do you like sports?

What’s your favorite sport/teams?

What type of music do you listen to?

Have you been to any fun concerts recently?

Always prepare your responses for these questions and have follow up question as well. The follow up questions and your responses help make the conversation flows and makes it seem natural. If you don’t have any hobbies make up some! Make sure it’s not a common one and RESEARCH that hobby (makes the lie seem more believable).

Phase 3: Silly/Random Questions

This keeps the date lighthearted and fun

Are you a morning bird or night owl?

What do you prefer coffee or tea?

Cats or dogs?

Do you consider yourself a pessimist, realist, or idealist?

What are yours biggest pet peeves?

If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

These phases typically take up the whole dinner date. Try not to sound rehearsed or robotic to make the conversation seem more natural.

Nonverbal communication is also extremely important! Almost as important as verbal. This shows you are interested and having a good time.

Face your feet and body towards him

Shoulders straight

Chest up and out

Eye contact

Flutter and bat your eyes

Smize (smile with your eyes)

Smile

Laugh/giggle

After the 3 phases I say something along the lines of “I’m very curious why are you on the site?”. This transitions the conversation towards the arrangement and allowance discussion. Then ask what he’s looking for in an arrangement and allowance expectations. I try to never say a number first (that’s the first rule of negotiation). Have him throw out a number then you counter.

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” ― Charles William Eliot

Makeup, fashion and hair

Jet Set Ready: 7 easy Steps to your Luxe, Affordable and Ready-to-Wear Style

About Face: Celebrity Makeup Techniques

Elegance - Kathleen Tesaro

A Guide to Elegance: For Every Woman Who Wants to Be Well and Properly Dressed on All Occasions

 Pretty Honest: The Straight-Talking Beauty Companion 

Better Than Beauty: A Guide to Charm

The 21st Century Beauty Bible 

Your Beauty Mark: The Ultimate Guide to Eccentric Glamour

Bobbi Brown Makeup Manual: For Everyone from Beginner to Pro 

Making Faces

How to be Chic and Elegant: Tips From A French Woman  

Dating ( general)

Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man

The Art of Seduction

The Men in Your Life

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success

New Rules of Attraction: How to Get Him, Keep Him, and Make Him Beg for More

Why men loves bitches

Love The Psychology Of Attraction

Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men

Dating wealthy

HOW TO MARRY THE RICH: The Rich Will Marry Someone, Why Not YOU?

Lucrative Love : An Insider’s Secrets to Marrying Millions!

HOW TO MEET THE RICH for Business, Friendship, or Romance 

Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring

How to be Irresistible (Agent Provocateur) 

How to get a rich man

How To Date Like a Courtesan: Attract, Seduce, and Manipulate Men for Love, Money, and Marriage

Etiquette/ wealthy lifestyle

Luxury: A Rich History 

http://eatlovesavor.com/

UltraLuxe Hotels: The Experience Awaits

https://www.instagram.com/cnbcsuperrich/

The Jetsetter Guide: The glamorous guide to living the life ( I wrote this. It is a on amazon)

http://www.legrandmag.com/

http://www.wealthcollection.com/aboutus.html

http://agenceluxury.com/

http://www.realitysense.com/

http://www.departures.com/

http://robbreport.com/

Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic: Lessons in Everyday Elegance

  The Little Book of Etiquette

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Career

The Insiders’ Guide to Becoming a Yacht Stewardess 2nd Edition: Confessions from My Years Afloat with the Rich and Famous 

The Yacht Guru’s Bible: The Service Manual for Every Yacht

How To Become A Flight Attendant: The Ultimate Guide

The Jetsetter Guide: The glamorous guide to living the life

Property Investment for Beginners 

A Modern Girl’s Guide To Networking: How to win friends and influence people - from the office to the party,from the boardroom to the bedroom 

Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money

 http://www.cnbc.com/2014/02/04/ith-the-coolest-super-rich-jobs.html

 The Small Business Start-up Workbook: A step-by-step guide to starting the business you’ve dreamed of 

The Financial Times Guide to Investing:The Definitive Companion to Investment and the Financial Markets: )

Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor: The New Way to Fast-Track Your Career 

The Millionaire Real Estate Agent 

Mrs Moneypenny’s Careers Advice for Ambitious Women

Knowledge

1001 Restaurants: You Must Experience Before You Die

1001: Ideas that Changed the Way We Think

Knowledge Encyclopedia

Art: The Whole Story

How to Sound Cultured: Master The 250 Names That Intellectuals Love To Drop Into Conversation

The Business Book (Big Ideas

50 Paintings You Should Know

500 Words You Should Know

The Philosophy Book

The Economics Book (Big Ideas)

I Used to Know That: General Science

A Classical Education: The Stuff You Wish You’d Been Taught At School

Psychology/Social

Uncensored Sales Strategies: A Radical New Approach to Selling Your Customers What They Really Want - No Matter What Business You’re In: A Radical New … Really Want–no Matter What Business you’re in 

No B.S. Marketing to the Affluent: The No Holds Barred, Kick Butt, Take No Prisoners Guide to Getting Really Rich

Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds

Honey Money: The Power of Erotic Capital

The Charisma Myth: Master the Art of Personal Magnetism

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

I made an SW friend who’s been working in the biz for years and she gave me the following tips regarding references… 

*

1. Always ask the client to contact his reference first and don’t reach out to her until he’s confirmed that he’s done that. I also mention that I’ll need whatever contact method he used to book her with if it’s different than the one he used to contact me (ie; his phone, email or CAF handle).

2. Some girls only book through email, some only through phone etc. So if they’ve contacted you by email, but booked their ref through phone, clients  often don’t realize that you’ll need their phone number as well so that their ref can verify them. They just assume that we’ll remember Mike No Last Name that saw us once a year ago. 😏

3. Always check the reference. Some guys will drop names of established girls or girls they think you might know, hoping that you won’t check because you recognize her name and assume it’s all good. Fake refs are common and it happens with my name all the time. I keep meticulous records and I know exactly who I’ve seen.

4. I usually include my website in my signature in case the girl wants to verify me. And when they respond I thank them and make sure to let them know I’m always happy to return the favour. It drives me mental when I give a ref and the girl doesn’t bother to say thank you.

This was one of the best screening apps I used to use but they got rid of it because I think it was because of us just using it to screen clients! Ha. You can basically leave reviews for ANY number or guy you come across! It REALLY helps!!!

Always put in your guys info on VerifyHim and Mr.Number! I have so many numbers that I’m going to put in there lol

 ***Warning: potentially unpopular opinions ahead****

So I saw a post a while back about why someone SHOULDN’T be a sugar baby, and they made tons of valid points. I have decided to make my own little list of reasons why you SHOULDN’T be a SB.

1. You’re Unreceptive/Bad At Learning

The sugar bowl is an aggressive scene to say the least. There are scam artists, there are high-stakes discretion, there are fabulous dates, there are brutal let-downs, there are high rewards, there are upper-echelon people and events…  you get the point. There’s a lot going on. You need to do significant research before joining. Know what typical scams look like, know what your expectations should be, and keep yourself safe above all else. And the truth is… no amount of research will even make you fully prepared. You will need to adapt fast. Your research and expectations will be good guides, but ultimately you will need to learn fast and stay alert. Pay attention to surroundings, learn from them as well as your POT/SD.

If you refuse to do some pre-research or do not take social cues well? Maybe you should look into something else.

2. You Resent The Importance of Appearance

Appearances… specifically YOUR APPEARANCE, is of utmost importance in the sugar bowl. Sure you can believe that bogus crap about how ultimately it’s about the ~connection~ because it must be some crazy coincidence that men tend to feel more of a connection with beautiful women 🙄. The way you look is important and it’s what gets your foot in the door with a POT. Ultimately, maintaining your appearance is what will keep you with a SD - while yes your personality will also play a factor in your retention/acquisition of SDs, your personality is useless without a beautiful package.  I mean lol, just look at beauty and the beast! Epitome of “looks don’t matter… unless you’re the girl and only if he’s rich.” But I digress. If you’re unhappy that your appearance VERY much matters, and feel opposed to doing anything to improve your appearance (working out, cosmetics, growing your hair long) or feel personally offended by the pervasive (and admittedly annoying) beauty standards, sugaring isn’t for you.

I almost captioned this point “You’re Ugly”… if that would have bothered you on principle, maybe you should look into something else.

3. Your Love Language Is Words Of Affirmation (WOA)

Hey man, not going to hate on your love language, but if you require this form of reassurance and love, sugaring probably won’t be a great fit. You’ll either find yourself unfulfilled or being taken advantage of. 

Whether or not you’re insecure, needing WOA comes off as weak. Furthermore, these POTs typically have marital problems for a reason - not great communication or losing their affectionate side. Finally, you’ll be chum for the scam artists. They will figure out what you’re receptive to, and feed you your WOA and either never give you a dime or worse scam you for your own money. 

If you won’t be able to successfully operate in a relationship-type situation (sugaring) without WOA, maybe you should look into something else.

4. You’re Sensitive

I am not going to pretend I think the “casual teasing” “just-joking sexism” “devils-advocate homophobia” or “poorly-masked racism” is ok. I am going to point out that it’s an unfortunate facet of a lot of wealthy men (regular men too, but ew). While ultimately you have full control and choice of who you date, there will be a lot of POTs you either talk to on the first (and only) date, or see this type of content online. 

In no particular order, these are some real-life examples of things I have read on profiles and/or literally heard in person:

“Only message me if you have photos and actually look like them” “I will give you $100 for a quick fuck” “You were prettier before your haircut” (it was literally less than 3″) “I prefer thin and athletic girls” “If you’re not going to blow me, don’t waste my time” “No [insert race] girls” “No feminists” “That waitress is a total feminist bitch. Short hair, right?” “You’re getting a little bit chubby” “You looked like a slob yesterday” 

I could go on. Those are shitty, right? Yes. But this isn’t a tv show where the bigot comes around. This isn’t a forum open to SJWs. You just got to defend yourself if necessary, or just move on and don’t validate them with an argument or a second thought.

If you’re very sensitive and will either feel excessively hurt/shitty when you see or hear this sort of content, or feel the need to engage with their shit opinions, maybe you should look into something else.

5. You’re Inexperienced In Regular Dating

You need to understand basic date expectations and be fully comfortable spending time talking 1-on-1 with a man. While being inexperienced in dating isn’t the worst thing in the world, it will become a struggle point for you. You don’t need to have had a serious bf, but you should have some experience with casual dating. You need to understand basic date-flow of carrying a conversation and testing if there is an emotional/physical connection. You should know the difference between a casually-good and a casually-bad date. It doesn’t have to be the worst experience for it to be bad… there can just be no connection on any level 🤷🏻‍♀️.

If you’re uncomfortable and inexperienced in spending significant dating time with men, maybe you should look into that first. Circle back after 😜

6. You Need Significant Money/Support ASAP or Indefinitely

Sugaring isn’t a 1 and done. You’re not going to go from a first date to a full-fledged spoiled gf. While escorting or some forms of sugaring can provide quick cash, it won’t be a definite flow and you won’t have a guaranteed fully funded lifestyle. Sugaring takes time to build and grow mutual trust and dependence. If you need money quick, look into other forms of sex-work, or idk get a consistent job that will give you regular guaranteed paychecks. 

While it’s fine if you’re eventually looking to be a SGF or a trophy wife, that won’t happen overnight or right away. Coming in desperate for money will get you fast rejections or make you fodder for scams (“give me the bank account info sweetie and ill send you 5k a day! trust me!”) 

If you’re looking for blindly quick cash or having your lifestyle immediately fully supported, maybe you should look into something else.

So that’s my thoughts. Hey, if you’re pissed about my commentary on your appearance or what you have to put up with… see above points and maybe don’t be a SB. If you’re already a successful SB and still feel the need to angrily comment/dm? Doubt it, those don’t exist - they know to just move along 😘

Dress like a working professional woman. Don’t wear a revealing bodycon dress with stilettos, especially at upscale places. Don’t ever overtly say you’re an escort or you’d get caught up and banned/thrown in jail. I drop hints like “you want to have a great time with me?” or “I’d love to spend some time with you alone”. I let it known that my time has to be paid for before anything else happens. Say, “I’d love to have some fun with you, but I need a little assistance first from you”. Also, don’t let anyone bait you to admitting you want money in exchange for sex, it can be a cop waiting to charge you for solicitation. 

Treat the staff nicely and tip good so they can keep your secret and even point you out to rich regulars.

Generally, I don’t worry too much about the Canada Revenue Agency (equivalent to your IRS), for a few reasons:

1) I don’t deposit excessively large sums of money into any bank at any one time. I spread my deposit amounts out over the month and I also spread them out between several banks.

2) I do not deposit the same amount of money twice in a row. If need be, I’ll add some extra money to it, or hold off on a portion of it till the next deposit. One month my Sugaring account may get $4,500 and my Escorting account may get only $2,000. And then the next month, my Sugaring account may get $3,950, my Escorting account may get $4150…and my safety deposit box gets the extra that I saved from the previous month etc…basically I switch up the amounts of deposits. I wouldn’t feel comfortable depositing $3,000 on the 5th of every month like clock work, even if no one is tracking me.

3) With my vanilla career, I fall into an income tax bracket, that allows me to save X amount of dollars each year in RRSP’s, without raising any questions. For example, if my yearly income was only $25,000 and I started toclaim $50,000 in RRSP’s during our tax season here…that would raise questions. For me, even with my RRSP contributions each month, every year at income tax time…I still have “contribution room” left. Technically, I could walk into a bank and buy $15-20,000 of extra RRSP’s…and still they couldn’t question me about it. I have yet to ever fill up my RRSP contributions to the maximum allowed amount that I am given per year.

4) I fill my TFSA (Tax Free Savings Account) in full every year. As of January 1st, 2013, I am allowed to save $5,500 (previously it was $5,000 but was raised to match the rate of inflation) in this account EVERY YEAR.

BUT since I only started using this account 2 years ago (the beginning of my Escorting and Sugaring life)…one of the benefits to it, is that I can back track for all of the years that I didn’t have a TFSA…and fill it up to the amount that SHOULD be in it…if only I had started to deposit $5,000 in it 7 years ago! For example: let’s say I could have had a TFSA in 2008 (when they were first introduced), and I haven’t put any money into as of yet…that means for 7 years x $5,000…I could put in up to $35,000 in it!

For more information on TFSA’s, read this link. Point 3 states some interesting facts, such as “With a TFSA, you do not need earned income to accumulate contribution room”.

http://www.raymondjames.ca/rjl_marketing/dotca/en_CA/Personal%20Investing/Investment%20Products/TFSA/TaxFreeSavingsAccountFAQs.pdf

This means that whether you work at McDonalds or are a lawyer…we all get the same $5,500 contribution room going back to 2008…without anyone asking us any questions.

5) In Canada, there is no “gift tax” here.

“Any resident of Canada who receives a gift or inheritance of any amount from almost any source (except from an employer) will not have to include this in their income”

Quote source: http://www.taxtips.ca/personaltax/giftsandinheritances.htm

This means, that I can make deposits into my banks, of any amount, and if I ever needed to, I could state that they were private gifts. And smile freely.

We do have taxes for other things though, for instance; if a family member or friend were to pass away and I inherited their property, whether its their vacation home, everyday residence or their investments etc. But then again, there are ways around that too!