Miss Sugar

Lesson One: There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like, understand, believe or support your reasons and your life’s story of the "how, why, when, with whom and where" that you became a Sex Worker.

* I don’t use the money that I receive to buy drugs.

* I’m college and university educated.

* I don’t have a troubled past or “Daddy issues”.

* I don’t use the money that I receive to buy alcohol.

* I will sleep with your dad, brother, boyfriend, husband and possibly your grandpa, for the right price and at my discretion.

* I do have a vanilla career that is respected by society.

* I enjoy Sex Work and participate in the lifestyle of my own free will.

* I do not have a pimp.

* I have never been arrested for anything.

* I have never had a sexually transmitted disease.

* I’m not easy, needy or seedy.

* I respect other Sex Workers choices, liberations and limitations, as equally as I respect my own.

* I do use the money that I receive from Sex Work to invest my future.

* I have two homes, 3 vehicles, significant savings and zero debt, all thanks to the fun that I get to have as a Sex Worker.

* I always practice “safe sex” and get regular sexual health check ups.

* I probably blend into society better than you.

* I make my own rules, set my own prices and create a schedule that works for me and my moods.

* The only regret that I have regarding becoming a Sex Worker, is that I wish I had started sooner.

Rule #1 of being a Sugar Baby/Escort/Sex Worker of any type:

Tips from a Client:

On Sunday I met with a Client, and he taught me something about my phone that I had no clue about.

At my best, I’m weak at using technology, so I have spent some time googling “iPhone” security etc, but I had never heard of this tip until he asked if he could show me something on my phone.

He is a very a trusted Client, and wanted to help keep my privacy safer, so I let him have my LOCKED phone…and he was still able to use Siri to give him directions to my house, then to my most frequented bank, and then to my most frequented “friends” house…among other silly questions he asked that she willingly answered.

Not only was he able to use Siri while my phone was locked, he was able to see my “Notifications” and see what was listed in my “Calendar” app under the tab of “Today”. This is ridiculous. If I had written down which appointments I was going to, the times, where to meet them or even their names or numbers…he would have had access to all of this information while my phone was LOCKED.

This isn’t just for when your with your Clients or SD, but for anyone with whom your phone may be around. I realize that some of you may/will already know this, but I didn’t, so I thought I’d share.

Hello!

Well, answering my asks definitely takes a good chunk of my time, because for every answer that I’ve posted publicly, there’s usually about 3-4 that go with it that have been kept private. I have so many questions in my inbox, right now there’s about 175 that are sitting there, and the truth is…I simply don’t have the time.

This may sound odd, but I try to do the ones that seem the most naive first. There’s something about knowing a newbie is scrambling for help and may make some dangerous decisions, vs answering another’s question who appears to have more experience, as to who to reply to first.

But…there’s a sad fact, and its just that there are some asks that I’ll never get to. It does actually cause me some stress, believe it or not, and I have actually taken breaks from tumblr because of it. Aaron has offered (teasingly though) to answer some of my questions for me, but there’s just no way I could or would hand them over to someone else. He knows this, but I think he just likes to support me.

I also try to answer the questions that I haven’t already answered similar ones to, or that can’t easily be found everywhere. You know the ones like “Where can I find an SD?, “What’s a pot?” etc. While I view these questions with the same respect as the others, it’s just a matter of time management sometimes.

One thing I never give direct answers to is in relation to my actual finances. I always keep them private, other than my one Client who pays me $750 for a session to eat my ass. I never come out directly and tell someone what my allowances or rates are…because it’s not that important and it’s not good to start a game of comparisons. I highly suggest you start doing this yourself too. In my responses I do use ranges as examples, but never my actual amount.

Right now, thank god, Aaron has started indexing my blog for me, so that it’ll be easy/easier to find posts/questions that I’ve answered with related words etc. Hopefully, that’ll help to make it easier to find posts about “Clients, or “SD’s” or “tips” etc. I am under the belief that if some one does have a question or wants to look up a certain word that’s written in any of my posts, it’ll bring up any post that has that word in it for them, and hopefully it’ll help them find answers to their questions quicker? I’m not too sure as we haven’t actually had the time to sit and show me how it works yet. But once he does, I’ll definitely let everyone know. This may be something you’ll want to look into as well, to help when you receive a lot of asks.

Another thing, is that because one answer usually takes me at least an hour to write it, I pick the questions carefully. I run two households, work Monday-Friday, have a few hobbies, friends, SD’s and Clients, not to mention family and pets that I like to spend my time with….all of that comes first. So making time to answer questions comes at the most random times for me usually. One day it’ll be while I’m in the bath, the next time it’ll be while I’m waiting at an appointment. Sometimes it’s even during business meetings that are boring me lol. Sometimes I busy writing on my personal blog and don’t log into this one for a few days!

So how do I find the time to answer all of these asks, the reality is that I simply can’t. If I did, I’d have no life outside of Tumblr. And as much as I love being helpful and the camaraderie on here, I need to live my life, keep my Clients and SD’s happy…but most of all me happy too lol. I’ve learned to not feel as guilty as much when I can’t get to every question and I’ve learned to not let it stress me out…as much.

Botton line, if I don't have the time or desire to answer a question whole-heartedly, I would never give a half ass answer just because I don't have the time to answer it at the moment. I'd rather wait till I did, but unfortunately that means there may be a slower response time.

Eating disorders are outside of my realm, and I don’t want to seem insensitive in any way, but I’m definitely sorry to hear that you struggled with an eating disorder, but I’m also happy to hear that you are determined and are finding ways to deal with it.

In Sugaring, there are a lot of instances where SB’s are going out for dinners and eating fancy foods with their Pots or SD’s, but don’t let that scare you off. It’s not all we do.

I actually HATE going for dinner with an SD or Pot, simply because I’d rather not be eating out all the time, and I’d rather use my time with them doing something active, or otherwise fun. Sitting across from them at a table where the lighting is low and we have a hundred eyes on us, isn’t my idea of fun. Thankfully, they think like this too. So my SD’s and I get creative. To some SB’s, our dates may sound boring, and to others they may sound fun. But it doesn’t matter, because we’ve found what works best for us and what we enjoy doing together. You’ll find what works for you too, so don’t let pictures of plates and forks cause you any stress!

Everything that I’m about to suggest, is of course assuming that you are comfortable with him, have created a bond where there is trust, safety and security etc. I don’t want you to take some of these ideas and just run with them. Your number one priority is your safety.

So if you don’t feel ready or are not interested in meeting for a typical “dinner date” you could always tell him things like:

* You just ate or have dinner plans with family later.

* You are gluten free and it makes it difficult to go out for supper or have some type of allergy you need to be careful about etc.

* You could always just go for drinks with them?

* Order an appetizer as your meal and practice your conversation skills and hope that he doesn’t notice that you’re not eating.

* Explain to him that you are nervous and not comfortable eating in front of him “yet”.

* Tell him the truth about dealing with an eating disorder and ask him if he’d like to do something else instead.

Things that I’ve done with my SD and Pots, instead of going out for supper include things like:

* Going for coffee/tea to a neat little cafe that ISN’T a Starbucks. Think outside the box, for privacy and uniqueness.

* Going to a local book store that sells coffee and has those little tables so you can sit and browse through books that you’ve both found interesting. It’s a great way to see their tastes/disliked etc.

* Go to a baseball game or hockey game, whether you know the teams playing, if they are kids games or NHL games, it doesn’t matter. I live in live in a small town, and we often go to the local arena to see what’s playing. It gives us things to talk about as there’s always “oohs and awws” from the crowd, plus if we are seen, it’d be nothing to explain away that we just “ran into each other and this is so-and-so’s dad” etc.

* Suggest meeting him at a community facility that has a library attached. You could read the paper together, chit chat, and just be chill.

* Glow in the dark bowling is great for dim lights and laughing at how you both suck, and it’s been years and years since he’s gone bowling etc etc. Plus, bowling lanes are typically open during the day and not nearly as busy as they would be on a Friday or Saturday night.

* Tour a classic car show. My SD restores and collects cars. So more often than not, he knows what show is happening where and in the summer I usually meet him there or tag along. Fortunately for me, that just because his wife has grown tired of this hobby of his, it doesn’t mean that he has. Basically; her disinterest + my interest = more admiration for me.

* Suggest going for a walk, only if you are familiar, comfortable and feel safe etc etc with him. This is definitely not a first date idea. I have a few little rivers that run through my area, and thankfully the city has created all kinds of walking paths and hiking trails to enjoy.

* Go rollerblading (provided he physically still can lol), or go for a bike ride. You get the idea.

* Hit some balls at a local driving range. If he’s a golfer, he’ll LOVE you for this.

* Check out any museums or art galleries. Depending on where you live, they are usually good for changing their exhibits about once a month. So this could become “your thing” to do together.

* Do a Google search for any “events” near your city, and drop in on them.

* Suggest volunteering together. I made a post a while ago about how we went and volunteered at a soup kitchen for one of our dates.

* We LOVE going to concerts. Even if we don’t know who’s actually singing! Check out free concerts in the park, especially now that summer is near.

* Check out what movies are playing and what the times for matinees are, if you want to go at a less busy time.

* Go berry or apple picking. Great way to spend an afternoon and you could always give the ones you collected to him to take home.

* Sit and watch Netflix on a blanket in the park. (we’ve actually gone into the middle of a hayfield and laid on a blanket and just stared at the stars before and talked, talked and talked his ear off).

* Go to the gym, play a game of tennis or anything physical.

* Have a coffee and help him proof read any reports or articles that he is currently working on for work.

* Go for a couples massage….or give him one?

* Ask him to show you how to fly a kite. It sounds corny, but chances are he hasn’t done it in a long time. It can be fun, the teasing, the competing etc.

* Head to a local beach and “hang out”. If you’re not comfortable in a bathing suit in front of him, there are some seriously cute cover ups that look like maxi dresses but are a bit sheer…love them!

* Check out the closest zoo, or hobby farm and bring quarters to feed the animals.

* Go fishing, whether it’s in a stocked commercial pond or in a little lake. The idea is to just be together.

* Try a game of frisbee golf. I happen to suck at this though. But when he laughs, I win.

* If he has a dog, if you do, or if you can “borrow” your best friends, you could go to a leash-free park and mingle together as the dogs mingle.

* See what options there are for dance lessons, whether it’s line dancing, the fox trot etc, it could be an ongoing date kinda thing. Who knows, maybe you can teach an old dog a few new tricks after all!

* Try a “wine-tasting” date.

* Have a board game date night where you each bring a game or go buy one together, and then just roll with it. The loser strips, depending lol.

* You could go for an ice cream and a country drive, to wherever the car takes you or follow any interesting road signs to a new town.

* If you’re in school, ask him to be your study partner for the night. Just He’ll feel needed and it could be your chance to impress him or to ask him for “mentoring”.

* Go see a live band in the local pub. Have a beer, or even a water and just “be in the moment”.

* If he’s a hunter/sportsman, you could ask him to take you to a shooting range.

* I’d like to suggest a “hot air balloon ride” date, but the reality is that it’s almost impossible to plan in advance and to have actually work out, as the wind is too fast or too slow, or it rains, or it’s too freakin early in the morning etc. If you can make this work for you, please let me know how as I’ve tried 2x!

* Paint your own pottery date. I love this. You go to a studio that has the pieces already made, you chose whether you want a tea cup, plate, bowl etc etc, paint it and then come back in a few days to pick it up after they’ve put it in the kiln etc. Most of my soup bowls are from these kinds of dates ,)

* Go to the farmers market and pick up some pretty flowers. Encourage him to bring some home as well.

* If you’re anything like me, you’d love to go sledding, riding out on the dirt bikes or quadding!!

But the most important suggestion is to:

Find out what HIS hobby is, and no matter how much you think it’s ridiculous, childish or silly, just engage in it with him, for him. BUT only participate in it if its safe, you’re not pressured or crossing any boundaries etc etc. He’ll appreciate, it trust me.

So there’s a list of ideas, hopefully they’ll get you started, but it just goes to show that you don’t need to only go on “eating” dates AND I didn’t mention “go to the mall shopping” lol