There is a switch the body flips when it begins to transform.
It is pain, raw and endless, splitting through bone and blood until the person you used to be feels like something distant. Something soft. Something human.
I used to think thirst meant wanting water. Juice. Tea. Anything cold enough to soothe my throat.
Now thirst sounded like laughter echoing down a school hallway and the steady rhythm of living hearts beating inside warm bodies.
I pressed one trembling hand against the wall as I walked toward my classroom.
Reiji had insisted that returning to school would help me adjust. According to him, reintegrating into society was necessary if I had any hope of controlling my new instincts.
Ayato and Kanato had agreed with him.
Laito, Shu, and Subaru thought I should remain at the manor a little longer.
For once, I wished Reiji had listened to them.
A hot flash ripped through me, followed immediately by a cold one. I gripped the wall harder, my fingers digging against the surface as my vision blurred.
A group of students passed by, laughing about something ordinary and stupid.
Their heartbeats were so loud.
One skipped slightly every few seconds.
I no longer had a heartbeat of my own, yet I could hear theirs so clearly it almost hurt.
The other part wanted to tear into them.
The thought horrified me.
My throat burned so badly I almost cried.
I had only fed once since my transformation. It had been days since then, and every hour without blood made the hunger worse. It crawled under my skin. It whispered through my veins. It made every person around me look less like a person and more like relief.
A girl stood in front of me, brows drawn together in concern. She was around my height, with long dark hair falling over her shoulders.
But God, she smelled good.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly. “You don’t look so good.”
I opened my mouth to answer.
The second her fingers touched me, something inside me snapped.
The scent overwhelmed everything. Her perfume, the hallway, the floor beneath my shoes, the distant voices of students. All of it disappeared beneath the unbearable sweetness of her blood.
She gasped as I grabbed onto her.
A second later, my fangs pierced her skin.
The sound should have stopped me.
It should have horrified me.
Instead, the warmth of her blood filled my mouth, and every remaining piece of restraint shattered.
“Please,” she cried. “Stop!”
The hallway erupted into panic. Footsteps scattered. Someone shouted. Someone dropped their bag. Someone screamed for a teacher.
When I finally lifted my head, my vision was hazy.
The girl was limp in my arms.
The hallway had gone silent in the worst way.
Another heartbeat caught my attention.
A sharp voice cut through the fog.
Yuma stood at the end of the hallway, eyes wide but not confused.
He understood immediately.
“What the hell are you doing?”
It did not feel like my smile.
“I’ll share with you,” I said softly.
Before I could move, he was in front of me. He grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder, and started walking like I weighed nothing.
Yuma’s grip tightened slightly, not cruelly, but firmly enough to keep me still.
“You need supervision,” he muttered. “This is insane. Where the hell are those Sakamaki bastards? They just left you unattended like this?”
Unfortunately, he had a point.
By the time Yuma brought me back to the Mukami mansion, my body felt heavy with shame and hunger.
Ruki was waiting in the living room.
One look at me, and his expression darkened.
Yuma lowered me onto the couch.
The words hit the room like shattered glass.
I looked down at my hands.
There was still blood beneath my nails.
“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered.
Within an hour, the Sakamakis arrived.
The room became colder the second they entered.
Ayato came in first, loud and angry, his eyes immediately finding me.
Reiji followed with his usual composed expression, though his jaw was tighter than normal.
Laito smiled like this was entertainment.
Subaru looked ready to punch through a wall.
Shu looked like he had been dragged there against his will.
I sat quietly on the couch, trying not to stare at everyone’s necks.
Thirteen vampires in one room should not have made me hungry.
Ruki was the first to speak.
His voice was calm, which somehow made it worse.
“You left her alone, and she murdered a student. Clearly, she is not ready to be on her own.”
Reiji adjusted his glasses.
“She was sent to school as part of her adjustment.”
“Then your method failed.”
Ayato clicked his tongue.
“My brothers and I should take responsibility for her until she becomes more accustomed to vampirism.”
He moved closer to me, throwing one arm over the back of the couch like he owned both it and me.
“She’s mine. She’ll be fine.”
The confidence in his voice made my stomach flutter.
He has that much faith in me?
What the hell is wrong with me?
“You were totally into that.”
Subaru looked ready to commit a felony.
For a brief moment, despite everything, I almost smiled.
“We’re the ones who transformed her, though,” he purred. “I think Little Bitch should stay with us. We take care of her the best.”
The horrific treatment I had endured from these vampire scumbags was hardly what I would call care.
“Yeah, right. You guys are definitely the ones who messed her up. We can’t even enjoy her blood anymore, which is honestly so annoying. We’re offering to help her, when really, you should be begging us.”
He had not opened his eyes.
He still had his headphones on.
Something inside me snapped.
Maybe I was tired of being treated like an object passed from hand to hand.
“What the fuck is your problem?” I shot back.
The room went completely silent.
If I had still been human, I never would have spoken to him that way.
But I wasn’t human anymore.
Slowly, Shu opened his eyes.
For once, he looked directly at me.
“We don’t need you for your blood anymore,” he said coldly. “You’re not worth fighting over.”
More than I wanted them to.
Before I could think, I sank my fangs into my wrist.
I walked straight to Shu and shoved my bleeding wrist against his mouth.
“What’s that taste like?” I asked.
His eyes widened slightly.
Then his hand closed around my wrist.
My blood was still sweet.
Cordelia’s blood still flowed through my veins.
No matter how much they wanted to pretend I was useless now, my blood still had power.
Shu pulled me forward suddenly.
Before I could react, I was on his lap in front of everyone.
Subaru looked ready to kill him.
Laito covered his mouth, clearly trying not to laugh.
Kou whispered, “This is insane.”
Ruki looked like he was already planning three lectures.
Shu tightened his grip on my wrist.
“Your blood is better now.”
His eyes were fully open.
“Since when have you been this enticing?”
I think my blood had given Shu energy.
That might have been the most shocking thing to happen all night.
“Alright, enough of this.”
Ayato grabbed me and yanked me away from Shu.
“We’re taking Chichinashi, and you all can’t do shit about it.”
The second Ayato pulled me away, Shu stood.
Ayato smirked, stepping toward him.
“You wanna tussle, big bro? I’ll knock your ass into next week.”
“Yeah? You sure you don’t wanna challenge me to another stupid darts game?”
The room somehow became louder.
“Her blood appears to have changed.”
“It seems to possess an energizing effect.” His gaze shifted to Shu. “Considering it has managed to wake him from his perpetual laziness, I believe further research is necessary.”
“I need to conduct experiments.”
“Nope,” I said immediately.
Yuma slammed his hand against the doorway hard enough to make the room shake.
“You all are so fucked up.”
For once, nobody interrupted him.
“She needs help. She needs to learn how to function. You people are not the ones who should be teaching her that.”
For the first time that night, someone sounded like they was talking about me as a person.
“Who do you think you are to tell us that?” he shrieked. “You’re just some subspecies!”
He charged toward Yuma, Teddy clutched tightly against his chest.
Ruki stepped between them before he could strike.
Ruki looked from one brother to the next.
“This is no longer about pride. She killed someone after three days. She is starving, unstable, terrified, and newly turned. If you truly care about what happens to her, then you will stop arguing over ownership and start considering what she needs.”
I hated being the problem.
I hated feeling like a monster.
The hunger returned so suddenly I doubled over.
My fingers dug into the couch.
Every heartbeat grew louder.
The words came out sharper than I meant them to.
I sank to my knees, trembling.
Then someone sat beside me.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
“You’re making it worse.”
“You keep fighting yourself.”
“You’re trying to pretend you’re still human.”
The words hurt because they were true.
“I don’t want this,” I whispered.
For once, they were not indifferent.
The same kind of tired I felt.
Lonely in a way no one else in the room seemed to understand.
“You don’t have to like it,” he said quietly. “But it’s still you.”
Something inside me cracked.
The hunger was still there.
The fear was still there.
But they were no longer drowning me.
For the first time since my transformation, I stopped fighting the panic.
Around us, everyone had gone silent.
Ruki adjusted his glasses.
“The evidence speaks for itself.”
The Mukamis understood this in ways the Sakamakis didn’t.
They had once been human.
They remembered what it felt like to lose that.
The Sakamakis had forgotten centuries ago.
Eventually, a compromise was reached.
The Mukamis would take responsibility for my adjustment.
The Sakamakis could visit.
Which, judging by Ayato’s expression, meant constantly and without warning.
Hours later, I stood outside the mansion.
The night air was cold against my skin.
The Mukamis’ car waited near the driveway.
I should have felt relieved.
I should have felt hopeful.
Subaru stood near the entrance, arms crossed.
“Try not to murder anyone tomorrow.”
Then, despite everything, I smiled.
Kou laughed from the car.
“Even Subaru is soft for M-Kitty.”
“I will kill you,” Subaru snapped.
Yuma opened the car door.
“Get in, Livestock. Before these idiots start another custody battle.”
“You better answer when I call.”
The honesty in his voice made my chest ache.
Laito smiled, but there was something quieter behind it.
Kanato hugged Teddy tighter.
Reiji looked irritated by the entire situation.
My eyes found him before I could stop myself.
He stood apart from the others, hands in his pockets, looking as though he would rather be asleep.
Yet when our eyes met, everything around me faded.
I remembered his hand on my shoulder.
His voice cutting through the panic.
The way he had looked at me.
I hated how much I wanted him to say something.
Prove that I was not the only one feeling this strange, dangerous pull between us.
Shu’s eyes narrowed slightly.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“You’ll make leaving harder.”
The words were not sweet.
They were barely even a confession.
But they hit harder than anything else he could have said.
Because for the first time, it sounded like he didn’t want me to leave either.
Before I could answer, he turned away.
As if he had not ruined me in one sentence.
As if he had not made my dead heart feel like it was trying to beat again.
I nodded and climbed inside.
Slowly, the mansion began to disappear behind us.
I should have been thinking about the Mukamis.
About Ruki’s careful words.
About Kou’s teasing smile.
About Yuma’s protective anger.
About Azusa’s quiet, unsettling kindness.
I should have been thinking about the hunger.
The monster I had become.
Instead, I looked through the rear window.
The Sakamaki mansion grew smaller.
Until it was almost gone.
But I could still picture him standing there.
And for the first time since becoming a vampire, the hunger was not the thing consuming me.
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