thoughts of a ghosty nobody @ghostsincorporated - Tumblr Blog

everything I say is stupid and everything I do is stupid and everyone around me knows it

#thoughts from a ghosty nobody #ghosty nobody #mental illness #ghost life #i hate being alive #mental health #i’m dead inside

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I love it when my dad walks in and I can see the immediate disappointment on his face

#I can't even move out #kill me #thoughts from a ghosty nobody #ghost life #i hate being alive #i’m dead inside #abandonment issues #daddy issues go brrr #oopsie #I think my family hates me #I think everyone hates me

dude I literally just narrowly avoided a psych stay by lying and then I do this?? FUCK

relapsing in a place where they're going to have to draw blood soon was a very bad idea FUCK FUCK FUCK

#im so stupid #fuck #thoughts from a ghosty nobody #its mental illness innit #ghosty nobody #self harm #suicidal ideation #I can't go to a psych ward but they're gonna bring it up I just know it

mercining

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lol I'm teetering on the edge of a relapse and perhaps more but I don't want to talk to the person I'm supposed to go to FUCK

#I don't want to hear what they have to say because it'll just be dismissive as fuck #I'm fine don't worry #ghosty nobody #thoughts from a ghosty nobody #ghost life #mental illness #suicidal ideation #i need to cvt #self harm #oops

I have a daydream plan to drop everything and run

I'd go to the state I know people irl would least expect, change my name, and find a job. I'd do that until I could figure out a career type job, or maybe not, as long as it pays the bills. I'd live alone. I'd work on my art. I'd have some control over my life.

Maybe I'd be happy.

If I made friends, I wouldn't try my hardest to please them. I wouldn't try to change who I am in order to make them happy.

#the worst part of this is that it's so unrealistic it hurts to think about #thoughts from a ghosty nobody #ghosty nobody #mental illness #i'm so tired #I hate myself

I don't think anyone would like me if I wasn't people pleasing all the time.

someone said they don't want me to but I don't believe them one bit.

#i wish i could be myself #ghosty nobody #ghost #thoughts from a ghosty nobody #mental illness #i hate being alive #i hate it here

it is so fucking infuriating to try to tell a man about your experience with misogyny only for them to dismiss and gloss over it, because to them it's not an issue

#sick of this shit #misoginy #tf #why do men

highly considering going mute

#mental illness #mental health #i hate being alive #i’m dead inside #ghosty nobody

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I'm lonely af but I realized how fucking difficult it is to talk to people without wanting to kill myself after

#mental illness #mental health #i hate being alive #i’m dead inside

im actually so fucking stupid its astounding

#mental illness #i hate being alive #i’m dead inside #mental health #kill me #why am i so stupid

TW - SA

dude I went on vacation for three days with my family and you'll never fuckin' guess who just so happened to be there as well

hahaha the man who SA'd me as a child!!!

literally the weirdest coincidence and thank God I didn't actually see him but I swear I almost broke down in public when I was told

#sexual assault #fuck him #fuck you #i’m dead inside

I, once again, am facing the fact that everyone would hate to know me

#June #no pride here #i hate being alive

starting to think Van Gogh had a point in cutting off his ear

#mental illness #i hate being alive #everybody shut up #kill me

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noos flesym gnillik

#mental illness

hahahah I'm having body memories and the only thing I can do to help them that's not self destructive is pace but guess what I CANT FUCKING WALK AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY

#kill me #body memory #trauma #mental illness #sexual assault #kill me soon please #fuck you #i hate being alive #i’m dead inside #i can't do this anymore #chronic illness

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