ghost, they/them, autistic | icon by @spabes | big fan of: words, art, people, clothes, words, birbs, iodized salt, languages, dancing, laughing, and did i mention words
you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. thatâs how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.
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Part of me does wonder a bit why the Pre-Raphaelites and their descendants had such a hard-on for rendering things. Take the architectural paintings of Henry Roderick Newman, an American Pre-Raphaelite (yes, there were a few of those);
Tumblr may crush the quality of those, so Iâm going to zoom in on a few details hereâ
He has individually rendered every discolored, separate tile on the facade of the Duomo in FlorenceâŚ
And this relief of Isis is divided into discrete blocks of stone. Heâs drawn every outline.
Now, the effect is very crisp and sharp and beautiful, but I feel like this is a great way to drive yourself to madness! What was the point of working like this? How long did it take Newman to complete each of these? I mean, dear god.
There's this notion that being able to stream professional theater shows will hurt the industry, because people won't go to the effort to support live theater anymore, and this is based on the anxieties of the film industry, but live theater isn't a film. The better analogy is sports.
Look me dead in the eye and tell me that people being able to sit at home and watch The Game -- the fandom that encourages, the ongoing investment over the years, the memories and traditions of Watching the Game with family and friends -- harms the ticket sales of real live go-to-the-stadium sports. Of course it doesn't. Of course all that *is the reason* that people care so much about sports they'll invest a small fortune on not only tickets but often travel costs to be part of it all in person. And the people who aren't doing that *can't* do that and weren't going to regardless, but their at-home participation and investment still boosts the profile of pro and NCAA sports as cultural institutions.
Maybe it's possible to fall in love with film and be immune to the romance of Going to the Cinema such that you'll just freely choose the same film in the comfort of your living room. It's not possible to fall in love with something that happens live and not want to be there to experience it. The consequences of procasts, for theater just like for sports, can only be A) more people motivated to make live theater part of their worlds, aka more money, when theaters everywhere could desperately use more money, or B) more love. Which is worth arguing for because reasons I assume I don't have to defend.
relational trauma has to be healed relationally. the best way to practice having relatively "safe" interactions with ppl is joining a hobby group/club/whatever. I've recently joined like ten Fancy Leather Bag groups on fb out of deep curiosity and interest and the communities ppl will build around literally everything I swear to god. I've seen multiple ladies in these purse groups being like "thank you everyone in this hobby for getting me through my chemotherapy" like ... sometimes we dismiss the middle aged purse lady demographic but you know what they have got is a functional community where they support each other that just happens to be centered around purses. having now read many posts from these groups for several weeks I can see that the object being collected IS important, and is certainly the superifival draw into the space as well as something that provides an immediate shared interest, the actual benefit of localish hobby/collecting spaces is largely community and social support.
those of us who are Very Online Only could stand to learn from this sort of thing I think. it doesn't have to be purses it could be anything. but like. (gestures at the purse ladies who are getting each other through chemotherapy) Shared Interest Facebook Group And/Or Subreddit has it for you. i think.
this is actually my first step of learning emotional regulation. yes yes, restful sleep and physiologically appropriate exercise and getting outside and eating nutritious meals. these are all good. but also MEET. YOUR. SOCIAL. NEEDS. you need the relational foundation to cushion you while you work on these skills! i know it's really scary because we all have relational trauma but that doesn't mean we don't have a need for social connection and support!!!
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Don't leave your friends and even acquaintances to go to the hospital alone. If they don't have someone already going with them and don't explicitly tell you they don't want you there, go to advocate for them. Outcomes for sick people change dramatically when they have someone else there to observe doctors (making them know they can't get away with negligence) and note symptoms from an outside perspective.
Going to the hospital is scary and even someone totally unprepared to be a medical advocate or physical support will be better than nothing, purely from their presence. You can grab food, be there with your phone to search if theirs dies, go in search of a doctor, distract them from pain or discomfort... go with them.
If you can, it can be nice to have a friendly presence at outpatient appointments too! If you and your friends can use the same medical provider, you could even try scheduling routine appointments in a block, to make it easier to go together.
A friend can help catch little mistakes that probably aren't malicious (forgetting to mask, leaving someone else's water jug in a room, et cetera) too. A friend can also help a patient remember to bring up a topic they forgot.
Some people get hospital delirium, or milder psych symptoms like non-distressing hallucinations. Healthline claims having a friend around is useful for making things feel more familiar and less disorienting, though I haven't verified this.
At least one hospital exists that lets visitors buy food from the patient cafeteria. This was useful for me when I was supporting a friend, as it meant I didn't need to pack meals. I suspect it gives the hospital good incentives to make the food decent, too.
It's possible you could get special permission to stay with a patient outside standard visiting hours if you ask.
whoa. have you guys heard of sleep where you wake up and feel better? this shit's crazy, dude!
alright. epic love it fab. what's on the docket today
- what's due today that i have not done? many thingsâ ď¸
- video 1â ď¸
- video discussionâ ď¸
- printivate (print) (i just want rimes man) (mt, ws, 4, 5, anything else?)â ď¸ my printer is in hell and i don't know how to fix it but it's FINE we can do it LATER i GUESS
- skim + ANNOTATE MAIN TEXT BABEYâ ď¸
brain got stuck. ugh. get ur papers babycakes
- reading worksheet
- skim texts 4 + 5â ď¸ most cursory skim of my LIFE BUT IT'S FINE
- vocab time for me? :autism_creature_eyes:
- 4 + 5 hw would be crazy but great?
- class 11-2:30
class aâ ď¸
breakâ ď¸
class bâ ď¸
life stuff (before class):
- make bed + get dressedâ ď¸
- breakfastâ ď¸
- brush teeth + floss + clean piercing damnâ ď¸
- um. sure, we can handwash clothes this morning? that's. fine?? orange dress,â ď¸ pink dress necessarily also?,â ď¸ pink skirt,â ď¸ can we fit any shirts? i think we can fit one shirt
god i love it when impulses work. THINK OF DOING THINGS AND THEN DO THEM đŞđŤśđ
- water plantsâ ď¸
AFTER CLASS (NOT BEFORE. PREP. BLEASE)
- lunch--finish mast o khiyar? maybe do that for dinner. for lunch let's wilt some greens for quesadillas with salsa
- flowers
- request focalin refill
- email C again? (can send text tomorrow)
- reply to S
- make a rhubarb galette??
- dinner--eat pasta or rice or tortillas omfg babe
typing would be fab but my 7am energy is NOT my 3pm energy. calm down. Calm Down.
(I started writing this post just now as a message to a friend who asked for language-learning advice. But Iâm a GIANT NERD when it comes to language learning, so it got wayyy too long to be a message. So Iâm posting it here in the hopes that it might help others as well. I have not edited this or even read through it all yet â it just poured straight out of my fingers â so please let me know if you spot any typos!)
Okay, first of all, there are two parts to language learning: active learning and passive exposure. You can choose to do only one or the other, but youâll have the most success if you do both.
ACTIVE LEARNING
Active learning is pretty much what it sounds like: actively focusing on the language, learning new words, sounds, phrases, idioms, etc. Itâs often centered around a textbook, sometimes with accompanying audio, but you can do active learning in other ways too. For example, you can read a news article online and check a dictionary for every word you donât know. Or do the same thing with a foreign film â when you hear a word you donât know (or see it in the subtitles), pause the movie and look it up.
Active learning makes you progress fast, but it also tires out your brain and overwhelms it with new information, making it easier to forget things youâve already learned. Thatâs why itâs best to space out your active learning sessions and fill the gaps with passive exposure.
PASSIVE EXPOSURE
The goal of passive exposure is for your brain to randomly encounter words and phrases it learned recently and go âHey! I recognize that!â This is SO important not only for reviewing and consolidating your memory, but also keeping up your motivation! If the only place you ever encounter your TL (target language) is in your textbook, on some subconscious level your brain will think itâs not that important⌠because after all, you never encounter it out there in the real world, do you?
Passive exposure can include any of the following and much more: listening to music in your TL; watching a movie in your TL (either with English subs, or with no subs at all and just donât worry if you donât understand everything thatâs going on); skim-reading a book or a short story or a news article or a blog post in your TL and looking for words you recognize, even if you canât 100% remember what they mean; finding speakers of your TL in real life and eavesdropping on them; watching instructional YouTube videos or short documentaries in your TL (the visuals ought to help you understand some of whatâs going on, even if there are no subtitles); etc.
The idea is to let your TL wash over you without straining your brain at all. Zero effort, just relaxation and fun. You will inevitably notice and understand a few words or phrases, and that percentage will increase as time goes on, but youâre not actively studying when youâre doing passive exposure. Remember the two things youâre trying to achieve with passive exposure:
1) effortless review/practice, by inevitably re-encountering some stuff youâve already learned;
2) reminding your brain that this language is a real cool thing out there in the world, not just a boring chore located in a textbook.
But there are also two more extremely important benefits to passive exposure that are drastically neglected by most language-learners:
3) picking up the correct pronunciation and accent;
4) gaining an instinct for natural, native-sounding language.
These are two things you will not learn in a language class or from a textbook. You canât learn them except by doing a LOT of listening and reading in your TL. But the good news is that it doesnât need to be the âActive Learningâ kind of reading and listening; it can absolutely be the âPassive Exposureâ kind, and you will still pick this stuff up.
The most important thing, above all else, is to figure out a method of passive exposure that works for YOU personally. This means: do NOT force yourself to repeatedly do something that you donât enjoy, because you wonât benefit from it. To pick the right method, think of your interests and the things you like to do in your free time: watching movies? reading books? listening to music? writing in your journal? surfing the internet? You can do any of this in your TL, too. Yes, you will encounter a lot of stuff you donât understand at the beginning. But A) thatâs good for you, it helps you learn patience, which every language-learner needs, and B) the internet has free translation tools everywhere you look.
COMBINING BOTH
Personally, I like to pick a well-respected textbook with accompanying audio (Assimil is my favorite; Teach Yourself and Colloquial can also be very good, especially the older editions; Linguaphone used to be fantastic but Iâm not sure if itâs still around) and work my way through it, doing one lesson per day if possible. That takes only about 10 to 20 minutes, so that leaves a lot of time for passive exposure. My preferred method is listening to music (I learned a good 50% of my German from just obsessively listening to German pop music in high school), but here are some other things I like to do:
find an internet talk radio station in my TL and put it on in the background
same deal with a podcast
translate a few keywords related to my favorite hobbies/interests into the TL and then paste that text into YouTube and watch random videos in my TL
read a news article in English, and then find a news website in my TL and see if I can find an article about the same topic in that language
watch bad reality TV or soaps in my TL with no subtitles, just trying to guess whatâs going on from context
etc.
No Duolingo. No Rosetta Stone. (Iâve written a whole post about the latter here.) You donât need to spend any money at all, though if you e.g. use a pirated resource to learn and find that it really helps you, I strongly suggest buying it from the original producer after the fact, to say thank you.
MEMORIZATION
This is very much a âYMMVâ piece of advice, but: if youâre having trouble memorizing stuff, just donât. Donât bother trying to remember anything. Remember that âpassive exposureâ bit? It does a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of memory. If you keep bumping into the same word or phrase over and over again, you will incorporate it into your body of knowledge almost effortlessly. Of course this is easier with more common words that turn up again and again â but youâd be surprised how well you can get by, especially at the lower levels, with only the more common words!
Intentionally memorizing vocabulary can of course be very beneficial, so thereâs nothing wrong with it. But I notice that itâs often one of the biggest pain points for language learners, and I believe language learning should be pain-free.
FROM INPUT TO OUTPUT
Once youâve gotten a good grasp of the basics of the language, a really effective way to consolidate the knowledge youâve gained is to use it actively and creatively yourself, in speech or writing (or ideally both!). For speaking practice, besides simply making friends who are native speakers of the language, you can search for a physical or virtual tandem. This is when you meet up with someone whoâs a native speaker of your TL and is trying to learn your own language. You can meet for, say, an hour, and chat together for half an hour in your native language, and then half an hour in their native language. So both of you benefit!
Donât underestimate talking to yourself, too. Whether itâs narrating your actions, complaining to your pet (okay, I guess thatâs not technically âtalking to yourselfâ), or simply having an imaginary conversation with someone else, itâs actually a good way to practice.
I also really enjoy writing in my journal in my target languages. The act of hand-writing a word does a lot to help me remember it. If you like writing, of course, you could also look up penpals who speak your TL.
And thatâs about it. As always, I am more than willing to answer specific questions on language learning, as this is something of a specialty of mine and I absolutely love to help other folks get started on their own language-learning journeys. Please feel free to drop me a line if you need any concrete advice or are struggling with some aspect of your current language-learning efforts!
The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.
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Phones are like, "Delete your beloved photos and videos to save space! But you cannot uninstall these useless system apps that take up 70% of your storage. You MUST have Netflix on your phone even though you have never had a Netflix account. Hmm? You want to keep a video of your loved ones instead? Go fuck yourself, clear your memory card now."
Leaving aside any moralising about the Quest For Truth⢠and whether people "should" be annoyed at getting publicly corrected, the real reason you need to learn to rein in the impulse to issue an immediate correction any time you hear something that doesn't sound right to you is because pretty often you're simply going to be mistaken about which one of you is mistaken, and if you're the sort of person who feels the Urge to Correct, you know darn well that being corrected incorrectly makes you want to set that person on fire.
L'Art et la mode, no. 28, vol. 23, 12 juillet 1902, Paris. SoirĂŠe musicale. Robe de tulle noir brodĂŠ, posĂŠe sur un transparent de mousseline de soie blanche lĂŠgèrement brodĂŠe dâargent au bord des manches. Bijou de Lalique en opales et diamants, posĂŠ sur un nĹud de soies vert pâle. Bibliothèque nationale de France
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Male socialization is such an evil rhetoric. Yeah I guess not transitioning at the age of 5 is my fault and I'm evil for it. Yeah I guess not having the childhood I wish I did means I'm a danger and I should perpetually apologize for it
"The fact that socialization is a specious argument became obvious to me during an exchange I had with a trans-woman-exclusionist who insisted that my being raised male was the sole reason in her mind for me to be disqualified from entering women-only spaces. So I asked her if she was open to allowing trans women who are anatomically male but who have been socialized female â something thatâs not all that uncommon for MTF children these days. She admitted to having concerns about their attending. Then, I asked how she would feel about a person who was born female yet raised male against her will, and who, after a lifetime of pretending to be male in order to survive, finally reclaimed her female identity upon reaching adulthood. After being confronted with this scenario, the woman conceded that she would be inclined to let this person enter women-only space, thus demonstrating that her argument about male socialization was really an argument about biology after all. In fact, after being pressed a bit further, she admitted that the scenario of a young girl who was forced against her will into boyhood made her realize how traumatic and dehumanizing male socialization could be for someone who was female-identified. This, of course, is exactly how many trans women experience their
own childhoods."