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@ghostofasecretary

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L'Art et la mode, no. 28, vol. 15, 14 juillet 1894, Paris. Toilettes pour bains de mer. Dessin de G. de Billy. Bibliothèque nationale de France
Pink Flora : Bleeding Heart, Fritillaria, Delphinium - Julia Whitney Barnes , 2021.
American , b. 1970s -
Watercolour , gouache and SolarFast on Arches watercolour paper
20 x 16 in.
L'Art et la mode, no. 28, vol. 15, 14 juillet 1894, Paris. Garden Party. Dessin de Marie de Solar. Bibliothèque nationale de France
People who try to copy historical writing styles don't say enough weird stuff in them. I'm listening to a 1909 story about a ghost car right now, and the narrator just said he honked the car horn a bunch of times, but the way he phrased it was "I wrought a wild concerto on the hooter".
Reblog to wreak a wild concerto on a hooter

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See what no one tells you about having parents who have been successfully polyamorous and active in the tri-state kink community for 29 years is that as their adult child, there is a high probability that at any event you go to someone will have slept with one or both of your parents. There is no escaping this. They've been doing it for decades. They've lain claim to like half the east coast
If you are neurodivergent (editing to add: I mean ANY degree of neurodivergence, whether you were aware of it in childhood or not, whether professionally diagnosed or not,) I highly recommend following professional children's disability advocates who are themselves neurodivergent
and these can be like, occupational therapists, speech pathologists, whoever. Anyone who works in what might be called "special ed," who is neurodivergent.
Because they will be posting ALL of the things about what neurodivergent kids benefit from in an educational setting and what is harmful to them. That's their job, and they're uniquely good at spotting those patterns bc they share many experiences with the kids themselves, and once WERE THEMSELVES disabled kids in an educational setting. They Know what options/accommodations/interventions feel like and what they needed and did not get. AND, they used that experience as motivation to learn as much as possible about learning and child development and what kids actually need, from an expert standpoint.
They'll tell you exactly why what happened at school hurt you. Because they know. and they know what alternatives might have actually supported you instead of traumatizing you!
Reading about this is extraordinarily triggering for me, to be clear.
But I do it, because when I am reading about best practices, it immediately becomes clear the gap between that and what I received growing up. The advocates explain WHY kids benefit from one setup and are harmed by another. I can absolutely tell immediately what specific aspects of my childhood and upbringing were the most traumatic to me based on the extremity of my reaction to the content. I can gauge that by tracking my emotional reactions to reading about varying specific topics or situations, and the ways that adults might handle those situations. Because whenever I was made to feel like the way it happened was the only possible way it COULD happen, and told I was weak and broken and not trying hard enough for desperately needing something different? They were lying.
We now know that they were lying. There were other ways to do it that would have had my own experience and wellbeing in mind. Ways that would not have damaged me so profoundly during such a crucial developmental period in my life. Often the solutions posed by advocates are ways that I was advocating for AT THE TIME, AS A CHILD -- the number of "best practices" I read nowadays that are just LISTS OF THINGS I EXPLICITLY ASKED OR BEGGED FOR. I swear to fucking god.
um
Anyway. If you related to my last post about school trauma, here is some actionable advice. I like NeuroWild and Destiny Huff (on fb and insta) for starting out, and you can find and follow other people doing that work through them, hopefully.
I joke about it being humiliating to be traumatized because "my parents made me go to school" but I am extremely serious that school trauma can ABSOLUTELY be some of the most damaging childhood trauma. Schools are not built to serve children, and they're especially not built to serve any children who fall outside of certain very specific parameters, who happen not to thrive under the way the education system works.
This is the root of everything wrong with academia -- the way our entire society approaches both 1. child rearing and 2. education are, from a prosocial and literally human-centric perspective (I think of this as Social Ergonomics,) some of the least effective and most harmful ways of doing those things.
Many, many people are stuck in their lives because of what they do not realize is school trauma. It is very rare even in childhood trauma spaces to discuss school trauma, because it is a type of trauma which inherently requires people to question the entire foundation of some of our least questioned Systems. Institutional trauma is extremely hard to discuss, because it rests at the intersection of 'discussions of interpersonal abuse and trauma' and 'sociology-focused institutional justice frameworks' which are things that do not often overlap.
This is why it is helpful to learn about institutional justice/advocacy/liberation frameworks AS WELL as learning about interpersonal abuse dynamics. Many people who are survivors of institutional abuse, who have a concept of what abuse is but do not have a framework for what it looks like in a dynamic other than intimate interpersonal abuse, are unable to recognize themselves as having been abused. That's why I tell people to read about mad pride, prison abolition, youth rights, etc. To recognize your own trauma as trauma requires recognition of the ways in which our society routinely traumatizes people.
In conversation with multiple posts going around discussing technical literacy and typing skills…
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is less than 35 Words Per Minute
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is less than 35 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 36-45 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 36-45 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 46-55 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 46-55 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 56-69 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 56-69 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is faster than 70 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is faster than 70 WPM
I'm on mobile/ vanilla extract option
➡️ Take a typing test here (and you need an actual, physical keyboard for this):
The industry-standard benchmark used by employers and typing certifications worldwide.
➡️ 'Typing classes' refers to computer skills classes you might have had in school; you can also count games or other related typing training your parents might have had you do.
➡️ Across 3 different typing test websites*, the (english language) world average typing speed is 40 WPM.
*typingtest.now, typingtestgo.com, typerworld.com
good morning, good morning, i love you, good morning
- request focalin✅️
i am substantially happier when i wake up on time and thus go to bed on time.
sometimes i worry that i'm not well suited to academia because i don't read on my own enough. to an extent i understand this worry--i need to like, y'know, be pretty impressively engaged if i want to produce the kind of research i admire? but also. i think i am taking steps to make some of my free time reading time, actually.
i also worry that my memory is bad. play is the antidote; make lists, make maps, make timelines, make bubbles! but i haven't done that for ages. why?
because i've been busy with other things and it feels like work and i want to do as little work as is necessary.
but i know i enjoy it. so. hm. weird!
- solicit socialization✅️
- AND brush teeth and floss :) becoming a 2 times a day guy at all costs!!✅️
- meds bed dress etc✅️
- break fast✅️
ok. well. i want to return some books, i'm meeting my advisor, i owe an email, and i must like. do homework. think on homework.
also GOTTA TAKE STEPS TOWARDS SELLING MY CAR OMG
- leave c 10:30?✅️
- return any library books✅️
- reply to S✅️
- get on mailing list finally✅️
- lunch w/advisor✅️
- vocab list
- drop by office to hound N?✅️ i tried
- vocab practice for conversation :) no this is terrifying. fuck. nooooo
ok. missed it this time! BUT NEXT TIME I WILL NOT >:)
- bus home + walk home
- send advisor + other prof your paper!
- hw list for tomorrow
- watch the grammar videos
- Contemplate
- pick BaA volumes
- pick a few interesting article abstracts?
- car selling step 1: empty car of stuff. which means STUFF in MY HOUSE, horrible, i know. still.
- car selling step 2: car info to car people
- car selling step 3: schedule handoff?
- eat dinner (leftovers!?)
Ohhh the earthly delights
Girls when the delights are earthly

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Cultivating a thick skin regarding criticism of your own work is useful not only for peace of mind, but because even haterism can provide valuable feedback. If someone has a strong negative reaction to your work and the stuff that's pissing them off is all stuff you put there on purpose, you know you're communicating successfully!
Incidentally I also find it quite amusing that adult Fitz has one go of "spying from behind the walls" for several hours with no snacks or comfortable seating and is immediately like "this shit sucks. I'm bringing a cushion and snacks and a drink and maybe blankets every next time afterwards". Good for him honestly
I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days
sold
it didn’t explode lmao. putting this in the kiln felt like I was tempting the kiln gods to bring disaster, but the firing went great
people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.
Part of me does wonder a bit why the Pre-Raphaelites and their descendants had such a hard-on for rendering things. Take the architectural paintings of Henry Roderick Newman, an American Pre-Raphaelite (yes, there were a few of those);
Tumblr may crush the quality of those, so I’m going to zoom in on a few details here—
He has individually rendered every discolored, separate tile on the facade of the Duomo in Florence…
And this relief of Isis is divided into discrete blocks of stone. He’s drawn every outline.
Now, the effect is very crisp and sharp and beautiful, but I feel like this is a great way to drive yourself to madness! What was the point of working like this? How long did it take Newman to complete each of these? I mean, dear god.