look at the skill and spirit @ghostofasecretary - Tumblr Blog

opened up ravelry to look at patterns and the very first thing i saw was

The Garment by Robert Cole

went to read the Ravelry and that was such a treat:

Let the Garment envelop you; experience its heft and splendor. The original Garment pattern was knit in the round, from the bottom up, and designed for someone six feet in height. A simple adjustment of the number of stitches you cast on will allow you to customize the length. Follow The Garment on Instagram: @HeftAndSplendor Update, Aug 9, 2026: Many thanks for all the Garment enthusiasm in recent days! In response to sensible feedback, I’m developing and testing two alternate versions of the pattern: one for children, and the other a top-down version. I’m not entirely sure why I chose to make the first The Garment bottom-up—it almost certainly makes more sense for sizing, etc., to make it top-down—although I will say that casting on 300 stitches for the bottom of a The Garment feels like quite a leap of faith into the great unknown. In any case, both new versions of the pattern will be included in the update and sent to everyone who’s already bought the original pattern.

The pattern for the Garment costs only five usd so if you are a knitter and you want to make something beautiful and baffling, there you go. I do almost want to learn to knit so I can make the Garment.

(Also there's more pictures of people wearing the Garment at the Ravelry page and they're all FANTASTIC.)

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2pen2wildfire

parents are allowed to straight-up torture their kids with zero consequences. they can withhold food and water, lock you out of shelter, confiscate your belongings, bar you from human contact, attack and harm you and exert complete control over your physical appearance. and this is just the norm. if you speak out against it you're seen as a delinquent or a predator. even otherwise progressive people get uncomfortable with the idea of dismantling the nuclear family unit because they still see it as the best way to keep kids safe when that simply couldn't be further from the truth. it's evil.

bleh

i dunno! maybe if your homework makes you want to die it's reasonable to just. like. not do it

- thought i'm pretty sure i've never had before in my life? kind of astonishingly given how often i've been suicidal + had a lot of homework before?

thank GOD i never had to take real math classes. or, uh, overly lax homeschooling laws.

trying to argue "no, you should do your homework even though it makes you mega miserable" feels so BAD even tho. like. i actually do not want! any of the material/social/psychological consequences of not doing my homework!!

and my mental state has gotten this bad because it has been WEEKS of "welp, fuck, can't get this done" over and over compounding and ever expanding till i just. can't

but i have to find a way out. if i don't find a way out i'll [not actually be in serious danger of death but let's say profound misery] or face consequences i really really really do not WANT to face

differences

- the last summer course i took with an overwhelming amount of homework was fun + useful + we did the shitty homework in class a fair bit + i didn't want to be unprepared + i think it took like. 2 hours a night? which is a lot but not an unreasonable "hey spend six hours in The Fucking Ooze not just doing the work but also retyping the fucking questions b/c you are in Hell"

- i was younger and probably had more energy

- i liked my classmates better. and to an extent my teacher/s

- i was at home and my mom looked after me so it wasn't All Me, All The Time. not sure that makes a big difference but it probably makes any

- i had realistic expectations of that class and super high expectations of what i could *make* this class. so there was more room to fall when actually It Sucked

i dunno. is that...helpful??

we're gonna keep going.

um.

my body feels SO gross, i want a shower desperately, i would love and adore it if i smelled nice and weren't greasy, i would also be relieved if i could FINISH THE PROJECT I STARTED LAST NIGHT so as to NOT DIE FOREVER

by which i mean FEEL EXTREMELY MARGINALLY BETTER ABOUT MY ABILITY TO DO THINGS. WHICH IS STILL *BETTER*

we need to like. track minutes like this is a final because it is.

once this week is over i can a) identify what went wrong here and b) MAKE A PLAN TO NEVER END UP HERE AGAIN. LIKE. POSSIBLY THREE PLANS. YOU (CAN WILL SHOULD MUST) HAVE OPTIONS, MY LOVE.

and maybe c) reflect on what *did* go well and how you can Still Win the bullshit olympics by getting meaning and value from the course after it's over

maybe.

oh hey, i'm "my love" again! that's nice.

also: last night i did 45 minutes which while small was so much better than i did all of Sunday. big percentage increase there, babe!

okay. toweled off a bit, washed my face, sprayed water in my hair, put on a nice fit. and a mild perfume. if i'm not human i'm doing a solid impression nevertheless.

work for 20 then get food and get ready for class?

worked for 25!!! yaaaaaaaay 🌿

- did test in class (mostly fun and fine)

- called a friend and helped edit a thing

- had lunch

- called ANOTHER friend and crocheted

now: bath, dinner

#ghost speaks #feelings sorting #kinda sorta

somerabbitholes

John Berger, ‘Will it be a Likeness?’

bestiolin

roz chast

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things that sound kinda good

- my hair being clean-er✅️

- snacks (repeat indefinitely)✅️

- cut and file toenails!!✅️

- hang up skirt mb?✅️

- brush teeth extra ig✅️

- [maybe the internet doesn't need that detailed but also who cares idk]

- cleaning my room--uh. which part. you already have sorting papers so: dust?

- sort some papers??

- towel bath?

- reading an ACADEMIC book (vortex chances way lower historically speaking)

- paint nails (warning: cannot move fingers for like 40 minutes after)

- draw smtg?

- wearing perfume or pretty clothes actually sounds aversive. awful! usually i love that! what gives! anyways. maybe that will change?

- water plants (do when it is lighter outside!! like 1 hour but still)

- kill self? no. god. HATE when my brain goes back to this button! it isn't actually a solution!!

- starting a new novel (concern: might become unable to STOP new book)

- doing work in a way i enjoy instead of a way i find deeply shameful and embarrassing (sorry! current status: impossible!!)

5min chunk 1✅️

hm. pomodoro break 2 so far seems to consist of a) toenails and b) OVERWHELMING GUILT THAT I'M NOT STILL WORKING. don't. don't love that. let's at least brush teeth and hang up something?

i have 10 minutes left on the timer and all of the remaining "good times maybe" options sound. bad.

i guess wanting to work is? good enough??? let's call it here and start again later?????

i don't want to go outside the sacred bounds of the Timer, tho. fuck.

do stupid video stuff.

oh, right, a good chunk of the stupid video stuff is Impossible. oops!

did 20 minutes of work yippee✅️

i should take down NOTES for my PROCESS EXERCISE 2 and then SLEEP because i'm FUCKOFF TIRED

...5 more minutes of work sure✅️

45 minutes of work with 30 minutes of break is better than NINE HOURS of break with 0 minutes of work by a lot. please be less mean to yourself and lie down for a bit

#ghost speaks #lists

anywho. things and projects etc etc

- we've got no chance of doing anything on time ever. should i kill myself

- never kill yourself. but

it feels like i do not want to do any of this and not wanting to do anything is. kind of a non starter afa doing things goes.

do we want to sleep? no.

probably should! but

no.

i won't wake up on time and it will just feel worse.

what about reverse pomodoro? 5min on, 15min off??

i *can* do some things i want to do. i could do stuff on Friday when none of it was homework, and i had a good time and felt like a person with a body and a life and a future.

so. let's try being SUPER nice about it

and if that doesn't work tonight we can consider Torture Vortex options (go somewhere out of the house, buy a ton of food, caffeine time, don't leave till stuff is done even if u hate life)

but. it would be great to do An major project, actually

and there's nowhere to go at 4am but home

so let's try. home work -_-

#ghost speaks #feelings sorting #hate!!!#anyways

- hey what if i like. try to treat the depression i think i'm probably dealing with. that would be cool right? that would be a reasonable step to at least try?

i have had such miserable (my life benchmarked) experiences trying to fiddle with meds that basically work that i. do not want to do that. and miserable therapy experiences also (even the best was kind of damaging and the mediocre was like...probably helpful but also Was It). but i should fucking pick one to try

"Anhedonia is a transdiagnostic domain that leads to poor disorder outcome and low remission rates." not super helpful as an intro, NLM summary!

- i guess there is Third Option: Neuromodulation

that sounds scarier

is it scarier than the Ooze????

of course it is. um

- agomelatine

know nothing about this guy or if i can try it with my current meds but it's top of NLM so?

also: big fan of drugs

cons: what if it makes me fucked up forever. or just significantly more suicidal. i have shit to do! i can't be sad and weird!!

...observe how much shit i have not been doing due to being sad. anyways

- therapy seems less promising but ~behavioural activation~ sounds less hateful than CBT or mindfulness? maybe???

as ever finding therapists who will actually do what you want and none of what you don't want is a Level 1000 Challenge but. whatever

tentatively leaning therapy because a less effective method seems. idk. nice??

but

idk!!!

#ghost speaks

kosmogrl

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

#ARE WE #PROBABLY I SHOULD BUT ALSO

getting really tired of "so i did nothing and felt bad and my goals feel as unreachable as the stars because my brain is on fire and also I Don't Care"

nevertheless.

hm.

not sure what to do about any of this! tbh!!

#ghost speaks

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velvetnightgallery

Vogue covers by George Wolfe Plank

historical-fashion-polls

which outfit would you rather wear? (1943)

left 🧡🤎

center left 💚💛

center right 🩶🤎

right ❤️💙

Remaining time: 5 days 11 hours

#left sweep!!! (it's the minority option by a lot)

kosmogrl

brehaaorgana

Oh, OP this picture is at Nara Park Bus Terminal! so even if you feel super awkward in the social situation, this is actually a picture of a deer chilling at the place where everyone is expecting to see some deer. The deer is a normal part of Nara. Also this deer is totally used to being here! If it felt uncomfortable, it would leave, since the Nara deer free roam.

You just gotta remind yourself that just like this deer, you are in the situation (social) where everyone is expecting this situation to occur (social situationing), and many other people may even be expressly looking forward to it (seeing you/the deer). Seeing the deer (you) may be the best part of the situation for them.

brehaaorgana

Exactly!!!!

and even if it wasn't the sole or only reason they are there, they came KNOWING there are 1,300-1,400 deer (you) free roaming in Nara Park (in social situations) and you're going to be a delightful part of the experience. (As long as you don't bite anyone for crackers. Or headbutt them.)

This is the map of Nara Park area, btw. The bus terminal is literally right on the entrance to the park. Also the city mascot is a sika deer named Shikamaro-kun. The little blue path from the terminal is where I bought deer crackers to feed the deer in the photo on the approach to Todaiji temple. (The deer enclosure I think is Rokuen which is where the sick or pregnant deer are cared for in safety.)

Anyways! The deer are expected and beloved and also protected as messengers of the gods within Nara.

(look at this guy!! Imagine he is the same deer as in the first photo, it's just months later with his antlers grown in more and he's napping in the sun in front of a sign that says deer! he was never out of place, he just needed a sunshine nap!)

Deer (you) isn't actually out place at all! deer is important and appreciated. Also if people make deer (you) feel like you don't belong in their (your) own house, you can tell them to leave.

Or headbutt them for crackers. Your call.

nepenthean-sleep

straight white people making a romance movie: haha what if it was illegal to have sex? wait what's lawrence v texas. wait what's mclaughlin v florida. wait what's loving v virginia

ninewheels

As preposterous and stupid as this fucking movie's premise sounded (for a light-hearted rom-com, and not The Handmaid's Tale) I didn't want to think about it too much until the movie actually came out, and then I could see if it was somehow more intelligent and subversive than the trailer let on, but guess what, it's even worse!

If this is what it takes to get a rom-com greenlit these days, maybe we should just let them die.

Sex workers are thrown under the bus, shown only as thieves who fleece men in the woods at night, while queer sexuality is relegated to a few scenes with Allie’s roommate (a woefully underused Quintessa Swindell) and a handful of pans past blurry same-sex extras making out in the background. “This night is for the straights,” Swindell’s character says to Allie, before saying that queer people have worked around straight laws for centuries. This is supposed to be a nod to queer resilience, but largely comes off as straightwashing the history of anti-LGBTQ legislation in this country that led towards raids of queer clubs and incarceration of queer people in the not-too-distant past (let alone the current barrage of anti-Trans and LGBTQ legislation currently in the works and on the books). It’s also ignorant of the long and fraught fight for the normalization of age-of-consent laws, which, by the way, did not happen in all states in this very country until 2003. Yes, that’s not even thirty years ago. By the end, our intrepid protagonists have not had sex with anyone, because this is a film about Romance with a Capital R (and I guess sex is not part of romance!) and for that very same reason they ultimately embrace the fascist state of things. They aren’t the only ones who refuse to fight back. No one in this cursed film is protesting this mandate beyond “repeal” signs in various windows and some creative graffiti (...) (...) If we are supposed to believe that the film is making some subversive statement about the state of sex and bodily autonomy in this country, it cannot end with its leads embracing their chains. That’s just warmed-over conservatism running around in sheep’s clothing.

nepenthean-sleep

yeah i wrote this post having only seen the trailer, but jesus christ. was this movie a psyop LMAO??

also, for the unaware: mclaughlin v. florida was a 1964 supreme court case that struck down a florida anti-miscegenation law that criminalized cohabitation (and thus, as implied, sex) between white people and people of color of opposite genders. anti-miscegenation laws made marriage and sexual relationships between white people and people of color, most often specifically black people, a FELONY in several states in the united states up until the 1950s and 1960s. though it was already struck down by the supreme court, the state of alabama didn't repeal their law until 2000! there were THREE ATTEMPTS at codifying anti-miscegenation into the us constitution!

like yes, the issue here is partially straight white people's ignorance on the united states's history of homophobic policy, but it's also really important to recognize that arguably the majority of the issue here is straight white people's ignorance of the united states's history of codifying eugenics and antiblack racism.

the premise could have been interesting as a serious dystopian story, especially taking that history into account, but it wasn't written that way at all. this movie should never have been a fucking romcom making light of the violence the united states (and many other countries) has enacted on any kinds of sexual relationships it deems undesirable.

nepenthean-sleep

can y’all maybe reblog this version i feel like people are forgetting about the racism and just focusing on the homophobia

random-brushstrokes

Olof Thunman - Sunset on the coast (1926)

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tomato-greens

never mind I'm back. working is SO hard. normally I keep my poetry secret but what if I write a poem about Ilya Kaminsky on here

tomato-greens

We Lived Unhappily During the War, Or, Mary Oliver, On Her Knees For A Hundred Miles, Repenting and when they – I mean, when we – I mean, when other people's houses were bombed, we scolded each other in poems; we wept! we bloodied our mouths in the streets. we signed our tax forms, we copied headlines, we shook our heads, we pasted headlines, our necks grew weary, we slept, ceaselessly we shared photographs of children's dusty bodies cratered by bombs, we

in our great country of money (forgive us) lived unhappily during the war.

meanwhile the world goes on.

kutyozh

i wonder how far the concept of loaning a plural word, re-analising it as a singular word and adding the native plural ending can go... like what is the word with the most plural endings

think english 'comics' being loaned into russian as a singular word (комикс komiks), then the plural of that is комиксы komiksy same thing with 'rails' -> рельс rel's (nom. sg.) -> рельсы rel'sy (nom. pl.)

tomirida

I've seen a triple plural with chips/crisps in Qazaq! You have the English plural chips, then Russian plural -ы as чипсы chipsy, then Qazaq plural -лар -lar, so you end up with чипсылар chipsılar.

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