☆Nyx☆

Since he never corrected his friends (who in my mind are on his soccer team, just for context) they kind of just assume that yeah, the two of them are actually dating. It makes sense to them. They always walk home together, Yoshiki even sometimes stays to watch their practice just so they can leave together. Occasionally Yoshiki will even come to their early morning practices before school even starts and afterwards hikaru and Yoshiki will walk to class together. Not to mention the whole food thing and hikaru always seeking Yoshiki out on various other occasions.

And yk not everyone on the team is friends with Hikaru. They're friendly, of course, they get along great and will joke around together, but they don't hang out outside of practice. Because of this, they dont really know who that guy that hangs around during practice is. Yoshiki doesn't stand out at school, like at all, so for most of them he's just some random.

So, one day after Yoshiki and hikaru leave together, someone asks who Yoshiki is. Hikaru's friends will respond with, "oh, that's just his boyfriend." And so the rumor spreads.

The team now knows Yoshiki as Hikaru's boyfriend. Now, in my head the kids in the village are a lot more progressive than the adults, plus I also imagine that the majority of the homophobia is centered in kubitachi to begin with since they're more old school. This means no one on the team actually cares about hikaru having a boyfriend as in they don't care that he's gay in a hateful way, but they are intrigued.

While not really homophoic, they've never actually known someone who was open about their sexuality like that. It just kind of peaks their interest and they begin to notice Yoshiki a lot more. He was always there of course, but now they notice him in the halls more and see him on the school bulletin board when grades are posted. They notice that Hikaru rarely leaves his side, and he always manages to touch Yoshiki somehow.

They brush shoulders in the hallway, bump knees when they sit together for lunch, lean into eachother when studying in the library. The team feels stupid for not having seen it before honestly.

And well, teenage boys will be teenage boys, so of course they use this to tease hikaru relentlessly. They call him out on how clingy he is, call him lover boy and always tell him how down bad he is. They even begin taking pictures of the two of them when they happen to see them in the halls just so they can send them to hikaru with a million kissing and heart emojis.

And again, hikaru never corrects them. He is clingy, he knows, and he does love Yoshiki. And honestly he likes the pictures, he saves the best ones to a folder on his phone. Plus, it makes something possessive ignite in his chest knowing that his team thinks Yoshiki belongs to him. So yeah, he was never going to correct them.

For a while it stayed contained to the team, but with the pictures they took, it was never going to stay that way. Eventually someone will call out one of the guys on the pictures. "Why are you even taking a picture dude, that's like stalker behavior and kinda creepy"

So of course the guy will rush to explain that no it's not creepy, the entire team does this. And no, that's not weird either, they're just teasing a team member about how he acts with his boyfriend.

And again, the rumor spreads. And now it's out of the small circle that is the soccer team.

The person who called the guy out would be surprised. Hikaru is a pretty popular guy, so it comes as a shock that he's in a relationship and this is somehow the first they've heard of it. After that they begin paying more attention to hikaru, and sure enough, he's always around that one quiet black haired kid they later learn is named Yoshiki.

They, like the team, also feel pretty stupid for never seeing it before. They think, 'no wonder I've never heard of it before, its literally common knowledge. They're not even hiding it, how stupid am i??' So they go to their own friends and say just that. "Guys, im a lost cause. Im genuinely blind, I never knew hikaru was in a relationship until today, I think i might genuinely be the last person on earth to know"

So now their friends just look at them absolutely dumb founded because since when is hikaru in a relationship and why is this not the hottest gossip??? In the end they come to the same conclusion as their friend and just assume it's old news and that they might all be blind and stupid. They have a laugh about it and don't think about it after that, but the rumor has spread further.

People are bound to over hear things. Back when the team member got called out at least someone else heard, and when the person who called them out shared the news with their friends other people over heard then too. Not to mention the other team members would probably let it slip to others as well and not think much of it.

The rumor spreads further and further until eventually it actually is common knowledge that Yoshiki and hikaru are boyfriends. Most people don't make a big fuss about it much for the same reason everyone else before didn't, it just makes sense. It feels like something that's been in their faces this entire time and making a big deal about it now just feels dumb. However, now it seems like the entire school has their eyes on the pair.

Hikaru doesn't really notice since he's always been popular and he really only has eyes for Yoshiki anyways, but Yoshiki does notice. He's never been popular and he's always been more than happy to dissappear into the shadows. The sudden attention, however quiet, makes him so anxious he might throw up.

His mind is a mess, especially when he notices that the majority of the looks begin when he's with hikaru. That knowledge makes him sick to his stomach because 'oh god, they know'

They know he's a monster

They know all his sins

They hate him

They dont even know him and they hate him

Why wouldn't they hate him

He's dirty and unpure and wrong, so wrongwrongwrongwrong

So, he does throw up. He spends a few days at home and he shuts hikaru out with the excuse that he doesn't want to get him sick. Hikaru, of course, protests and says he can't get sick anyways, but Yoshiki insists. So for about a week Yoshiki isolates himself in his room and his thoughts just get worse and worse.

Everytime he thinks about going to school his legs give out on him, his hands tremble, and the more he tries the worse the spinning of his head and the squeezing of his gut get. He doesn't see hikaru the entire time and asks his mom to send him away when he shows up.

He knows this isnt sustainable but he can't bring himself to either go to school or see hikaru or even answer his texts. And each day his nerves get worse as he spirals because he knows missing this much school means his grades will drop and if his grades drop so do his chances of getting accepted into a good university in the city and thats his only chance to get out and he needs to get out now more than ever because everyone knows now so he needs to go to school to keep his grades up but oh god everyone knows now and they all stare at him because they know and he cant go back when they all know what he is-

His spiraling gets cut short when Hikaru appears in his room after breaking in through his bedroom window. Hikaru doesn't look great, his form is falling apart at the seams and he has bags under his eyes from not sleeping. His hair is messed up as if he's been running his hands through it all day, or even all week.

Yoshiki of course isn't any better, and after all this time of not seeing hikaru his stomach just squeezes and suddenly he has to throw up. Thankfully he has a trash can nearby, and while he's puking his guts out a million different emotions fill Hikaru's mind.

Relief, for one. He hasn't seen or heard from Yoshiki in far too long. Of course he knew logically that Yoshiki would still be here. Each day he'd make a detour twice a day to pass by just to see his soul flickering through the walls because when he tried to see him before Yoshiki's mom said he wasnt taking visitors.

Worry was the most prominent. Is Yoshiki really this sick? He did throw up at school but that was ages ago and now he's still throwing up. He knows humans are fragile but Yoshiki is strong, he wouldn't get sick like in the movies, the kind that keeps humans in bed and out of school for the rest of their lives. He instinctively reaches out to try and soothe him, but he's afraid.

Fear flickers on his face as he hesitates to reach out, what if he hurts him? He doesn't want to hurt Yoshiki, but he's been a mess these last few days. He's almost slipped up countless times and nearly revealed his true identity in front of others. What if he slips up again after not being near his favorite soul for so long and he just takes?

Then there's anger. Anger at being shut out and left in the dark. He has no idea what's wrong and how is he supposed to help if he doesn't even know what needs fixing?

He feels so many conflicting emotions they make his head spin. He doesn't think he was ever meant to feel this much, all these emotions are inherently human and he isnt human. He doesn't understand how his chest is big enough for everything thats swarming inside, he thinks everything he's feeling is much bigger than this body, it's probably even bigger than his true form.

While hikaru is having his internal debate Yoshiki finishes expelling what little was in his stomach to begin with. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as his eyes meet hikaru again, and suddenly all he can feel is exhaustion. Bone deep and crushing, he feels like he might just collapse under the weight of it.

He stumbles forward into Hikaru's arms and just cries. He lets himself be held as all that exhaustion settles into him. For a moment, just one small singular moment, he wants someone to know who he is, and then hold him despite it.

Hikaru is quick to wrap his arms around Yoshiki. His fingers shake and his own lips tremble, but he holds him tight. He rubs what he hopes is soothing circles on Yoshiki's back as he cries into Hikaru's shoulder. He whispers small reassurances even if he isn't really sure what he needs to reassure Yoshiki on.

"Hey, it's okay. Im here for you, im not leaving. Ill stay as long as you need me, and even after that. I got you, okay? Dont worry, let it all out, im right here."

Yoshiki holds him tighter and sobs harder until he has no more tears left to cry. His eyes become puffy and tender to the touch, his cheeks are tear stained and his face is sticky with snot. He's pretty sure he's ruined Hikaru's school shirt, again.

He's about to apologize but hikaru doesn't give him a chance to. He just cradles Yoshiki's face in his hands like Yoshiki did for him once before. He wipes away the tears clinging to his eyelashes and looks at him so tenderly it'd make Yoshiki cry again if he still had it in him.

Hikaru doesn't ask him for an explanation, at least not right away. He just helps Yoshiki up and begins taking care of him. He helps Yoshiki wash his face and brushes his teeth for him even as Yoshiki protests that he can do it. He picks out a change of clothes and as Yoshiki gets dressed he brings him a glass of water, a tangerine, and a cooling pack.

Yoshiki knows his face is red as hikaru guides the glass to his lips, hes thankful hikaru either doesn't notice or chooses to ignore it as he tells Yoshiki to out the cooling pad on his eyes and then proceeds to not only peel the tangerine, but feed it to him as well.

His stomach begins acting up again for a different reason, and for a moment he doesn't understand what's so wrong about this. What could be so wrong about the way hikaru carefully removes all the stringy veins from the fruit before feeding it to Yoshiki just because he knows he doesn't like them?

Who is he hurting by letting himself be held by Hikaru's true form like he's something precious? What is so wrong about his love?

His own train of thoughts startles him. He hadn't realized his own feelings for hikaru until now. It'd felt so natural, perhaps because of the face he wears, but he hadn't registered when his own feelings shifted. Even now as hikaru lets his form hold Yoshiki up since his own hands are sticky with tangerine juice, Yoshiki cant help but feel anything but adoration.

Of course its then when hikaru finally decides he wants answers, and Yoshiki is left fumbling to make his mouth make coherent words.

It takes a while for him to find the words to properly articulate himself, and it takes even longer for him to find the courage to actually say them, but eventually Yoshiki gets everything out.

He tells hikaru about his fears and the panic that shot through him from all the attention. He tells him every emberassing detail and every hurtful thought. Much like hikaru is doing now while holding Yoshiki up with his true being, Yoshiki shows Hikaru his own monster.

Hikaru doesnt cut him off even when his own face pales halfway through, he just listens. By then end of it he hugs Yoshiki and showers him in reassurances before apologizing profusely.

In the time Yoshiki had been gone from school, hikaru had learned of the rumor. Since people thought the two were dating and they saw how stressed hikaru had been over Yoshiki's absence, people would come up to him and ask about his boyfriend and if he was doing okay. Hikaru was confused at first but quickly realized they meant Yoshiki. At the time He'd just brushed it off since he was already too preoccupied worrying about Yoshiki, but now he was quickly realizing that this entire thing might have been his own fault. He knows how fast gossip gets around, he wouldn't be surprised if this all stemmed from him letting his team believe he was dating Yoshiki.

He tells Yoshiki this, tears beginning to collect in his own eyes as he fumbles to apologize more. "I didn't mean- im sorry, I didn't think it would- well that doesn't matter, it did. I shouldn't of- Yoshiki im so-"

And Yoshiki kisses him. It's clumsy, neither have ever kissed anyone before and they're both crying messes right now. When they break apart Yoshiki word vomits his own feelings for hikaru. He tells him he loves him, the real him. He tells him he's so, so scared, but Hikaru makes him want to be brave.

He kisses away the tears still forming at Hikaru's eyes and tells him that it's okay. Hikaru didn't know and Yoshiki has long since been done with blaming hikaru for things he didn't know.