ghost fragments

“Listen, you can’t blame his issues on yourself. Whatever his problem is, it’s not your fault.You were good to him. The fact that he’d try to hurt you? Because you were late? Normal people don’t do that, Ricochet.” Blaise had seemed pretty normal in the beginning, but as time went on, he almost became unrecognizable from the innocent warlock they’d first met. Ricochet was simple, and he wasn’t a malicious person. Whatever change was going on inside of Blaise couldn’t have been directly caused by the hunter.

Ricochet knows, deep down, that his husband is making sense. But it was just so hard to actually believe what was being said. He'd more or less already decided that Blaise's fucked up state was his fault, somehow, even though it really didn't make much sense. In a way, he almost felt like he deserved to get hurt, because no matter what he did it just felt like he'd eventually screw up everything he had.

Dev grabs his face and gently pushes it up, and Ricochet's red eyes search his face before they flick down, and inevitably close. "I..." He stops himself from outwardly denying Dev's words anymore, though the doubts are still in his chest, a heavy stone weighing down his heart. He brings his own hands up, putting them on top of Dev's.

"I'm so sorry you have to deal with me." He whispers, feeling stupid on top of everything else. How was Dev not tired of him yet? He swallowed, thoughts starting to seep now over Dev inevitably leaving him, too, even though he knows how stupid that is.

He trails off. If he what? His thoughts are processing as he's speaking, and he feels lost in them already. "If I wasn't such a coward." He breathes after a pause. He was always a coward. Always running away, literally and not. He'd known something was wrong with Blaise and he'd never really tried to bring it up or talk to him seriously about it because he was too scared of serious conversations.

Part of him knows that Dev is probably right. But he can't bring himself to really accept it. He's quiet for a while before he speaks again. "He said that I was the reason he was messed up." Ricochet admits quietly. "Maybe if I wasn't such a fuck up..."

His previous thoughts are confirmed pretty quickly when he mentions how he forgot about Blaise, something that had unfortunately been a reoccurring theme. But when he says that he broke things off, Dev is honestly in shock. He’d tried to convince him a million times to let Blaise go, but he never seemed like he would actually do it. “Listen, Ricochet, listen.” The other hunter is on edge, and he needs to be as comforting as possible or else he’ll close up again. “You did the right thing. You needed to get away from him and you’re safe now.”

When he hears the question, he tenses up for a very short second. His shoulders roll and a quiet 'I-don't-know' sound comes from his throat even though he does know. And, after a second, he answers more truthfully.

But he knows two things. The first was he couldn't run from Dev, even if he tried. The hunter could sense him, and could find him, like he had already.

The second being that once he started to talk about this out loud, it was going to be a mess. His own thoughts were so messy and swirling that it was hard to put anything into words. A looming, black jumble of distress and guilt and worry and regret and --

"I was late meeting him." Ricochet blurts out, trying to speak before his own thoughts freak him out too badly. He doesn't have to specify who he's talking about, he's sure. "He was mad. He was so mad. I. I told him I couldn't do it anymore, and I was scared of him. And he just got worse."

It’s not often that Dev gets worried about Ricochet, knowing that he tends to do his own thing most of the time. Missed transmissions were normal, he figures that he’s just busy or meeting up with someone else. It happens. Things are always fine.

But after the first day, Dev has a bad feeling that something is definitely up. Ricochet isn’t answering any of his messages and the last he’d heard, he was supposed to meet up with Blaise – and that itself was a recipe for disaster. Knowing how toxic their relationship had been recently, the fact that Blaise was probably the last person that’d seen him made Dev uneasy.

When he doesn’t find the other hunter in his room in the Tower, he defaults to the only other location he could think he’d be (as long as he was still in one piece), and that was their place in Cosmodrome. It had been their spot for years, a place that was usually quiet, atop a small building on a cliff, a perfect view over the Mothyards.

And luckily, he is there.

Ricochet could feel Dev before he could see him. The other hunter's light was familiar, feeling like it reached out in invisible wisps to touch Ricochet's own aura. Still, he didn't move from the spot, leaning and staring up at the sky as his limps dangled over the edge of the building aimlessly.

Dev comes to a stop beside him, and Ricochet slowly tilts his head to look up at his husband. The only solid presence in his entire life -- especially now. Still, the thought brings a twisting feeling in his chest; panic and nervousness seeped into his mind.

"Sorry." He says, his voice eerily weak and apologetic. "I..." Baby had informed him that Dev was trying to call the day before, and he'd told her to ignore it, and just hadn't had the energy to answer. He felt miserable and stupid and like he didn't deserve Dev to 'coddle' him.

He lets out a breath, his body slightly shaking. He still didn't physically feel good after the encounter with Blaise's void, and his own mind was such a roller coaster since that he was mentally exhausted as well.