Ghost

I did not care about C&A lore, yeah it was fun theorizing but ultimately I did not care how the cast got into the circus or their life before because that didn’t matter. If anything episode seven solidified to me that how they got into the circus is irrelevant. What matters is the life in the circus and that they weren’t leaving.

I didn’t like Jax as a character until episode seven. Her pressing the red button immediately made her more interesting to me, because what do you mean you would rather doom everyone and yourself to an eternal existence just so you don’t have to face reality?

Kinda embarrassing to admit but the transfem hints honestly went over my head. I didn’t put the pieces together until I heard about the theory, then everything clicked into place and I couldn’t unsee it.

The reaction to the relationship Jax had with her mother and it being disregarded as not that deep, or just a sob story says a lot about people. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic here but I’ve been through that, the being laughed at and berated and then shown affection all at the same time fucks you up, especially if you deal with it your entire childhood. That is weaponized affection, it is still abuse.

Of course experiencing abuse isn’t an excuse to be a terrible person, but it is part of the equation on why someone will turn out the way they do. That being said no one in the show ever forgave Jax, not even Gangle. She cried because she is a character with a lot of strong emotions and they’re conflicting for her. She can pity Jax while also feeling angry that she will never get closure and that she will never get an apology. The cast helped put Jax in a tent because they are still good people and the hurt they’ve experienced hasn’t stilled their empathy because they know and acknowledge Jax was still a human being. Even when she wouldn’t show them that same grace.

I like who Pomni is and I like that episode three gives her a reason to keep going. She tries her best to follow Kingers advice to a fault even if it means being there for a terrible person. I will not defend Jax’s actions, they shouldn’t be defended, but I’ll always defend Pomni.

I think Ragatha deserved a little more from the show. If we had gotten to see her conversation with Pomni after the award show then the hug in the final would’ve felt more deserved (I still love the scene though, fanfics can fill the void) I don’t think she should’ve been there with Pomni for Jax’s inner thoughts and I like that she wasn’t. It feels to me like she’s breaking the cycle of being there for someone who has wronged her, and like she’s finally looking out for herself.

The moment she gave up on Jax was when she ended up in the loser corner, that’s why she rarely spoke to her after. She was always in the right to feel uneasy about Jax getting close to Pomni and I never doubted her for a second.

Zooble is also trans rep. I saw them being dismissed as such because they are non-binary but trans is an umbrella term and non-binary falls under that umbrella. Zooble does so much more than just antagonize Caine, call out Jax, and comfort Gangle. It’s important to me to say that.

In regard to Caine, anything with memories has a soul. That’s all I’m gonna say about him.

But I want to ask a question to anyone who agrees that the episode tried to make you feel bad for Jax. Did you at any moment have just a bit of pity towards her, and the way her story ends, and feel like it was wrong to feel that pity because of all the bad things she has done?

Personally, I never felt like that’s what the show tried to do. She was not redeemed, her abstraction was not meant to be accountability. But I think that feeling might have to do with getting all of her past handed over at once and then watching her abstract that made people feel that way. Or Jax just not being a character you vibe with, that is also fine.

The show did ultimately need more time. I think the entire of it was written with the final episode in mind before everything else and it kind of ends up rushing itself and that’s one of its main flaws. But for a show with only one writer the final was okay. It’s okay to also say that it wasn’t your cup of tea that doesn’t mean you are media illiterate or whatever they say.

1. I adapt fast to situations especially when there’s already an established routine

2. I already larp irl

(And my two strongest reasons)

3. I’ve been stuck in a cult for 20 years, so I’m already used to the thought of there being no escape and I feel like that’s some verification I’d be okay