I am laughign at myself because I am drunk and listneing to the mix I made for you and crying like an idiot. Who does this? I need help.

It's March and the snow is still hugging the grass. Like the snow, my body is cold but I'm hugging no one nor do I have the desire to do so. I still talk to the man that resembles green grass and the scent of Spring. But as quickly as I arrive, I leave. My mom has stage one cancer. Positive: High survival rate. Negative: It's still cancer. It could come back later on. She spends most of her time sitting next to the window and enjoying the sun while I'm usually in the kitchen preparing lunch and preparing the necessities for dinner. Her surgery is tomorrow. I've been neglecting the outside world a lot. Ignoring the texts and the calls. Resolving nervous breakdowns with sleeping pills.The moon has been greeting me a lot these past few nights... I wish it visited me more often.