fuck

before i read what you typed i thought you came all over the floor

When you’re jacking it to some fucked up shit and your own jizz decides to kinkshame you

I made a mistake

What do the people who stop the microwave at 0:01 do with all their spare time?

i do not want to be beeped at!! it is loud and obnoxious and i will not take orders from a microwave!!

me abt to do my makeup

I cry because the OVEN IS HIS SECOND CHOICE

What the fuck

snoop dogg is probably the fastest man alive but no cause has ever demanded the use of his full power

gay culture is trying to telepathically communicate to visibly gay people you see in public that you’re one of them

you can’t fool me i know where cats come from