eeyore/tigger

Blehhhh. Sick of every boy I date telling me im meant to "save them", that I was "sent at the perfect time to help stop their destruction", that i pretty much only exist to help alleviate their pain. What the fuck about my pain, my addictions, my struggles. When will I ever get someone sent my way, or more realistically, an equal who understands im no angel and they have to save themselves, not depend on me to make it happen...

Thoroughly exhausted of being the volunteer maid in this house. Dishes, unclogging drains, cleaning black mold from literally every possible surface cause my dad doesn't think its a big deal, wiping puke off the toilet seat, literally flushing the toilet for my 28yr old brother cause he doesn't mind leaving it full of piss with the seat up (i guarantee it has absolutely nothing to do with saving water), fucking everything in this house is moldy and dirty and unattended and if I don't do something about it nobody does and im tired and need help and want to move and need a fuckin nap. Vent vent vent.

Talking to my mom about possibly moving into her house and taking over the mortgage and its giving me hope for the future. It has 5 giant farming fields, a huge space for a garden behind the house, an ancient barn for storage (or if I lay down cement, arts and crafts and a tool shop), an overgrown sandbox, a little stream in the woods out back, and im currently working on a building a tree house. I could have chickens, lots of space for my dog and cat to run free, goats or cows or other large animals. I could even start a small animal rescue as I've always dreamed of doing. I would install a wood stove into the living room. Im falling in love with the idea the more that I consider it and she seems all for it so I just have to get my health and finances sorted out and its a green light from there.