wholesome

Background music from the Windows XP installation (2001)

im mad this slaps

microhouse

E N G U L F E D

*shoots my hand carved ivory stock french flintlock handgun with a vignette of a man wrestling a bull delicately sculpted into the handle into the air* enough posts. let’s get wind in those sails *I give my pet monkey who is better dressed than everyone except me a peanut*

i’m a grower not a show-er what do this mean u might ask? means my peepee dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit bigger than your feet anyway the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “dam i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy” the downside? if i get pantsed in public i immediately have to start jacking off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone will think i’m packing chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me