Back on my half orcs and their hardships. By far not the only one, but to me Ragh plays a big part in Gorgug getting more comfortable existing. The internalised racism is so strong for him and it's there in a lot of ways he doesn't even actively think about, but literally just being friends with someone who's like you and realising you adore them already helps so much. Even when you're not at the stage where you're actively working on it (or are doing enough self reflecting to like. Know.)
Ragh is broader than him (and for a while also taller, though I think Gorgug passes him by fhjy), Ragh is louder than him and takes up so much space all the time both literally and metaphorically. Gorgug thinks he needs to make himself small and speak softly, but it's hard to do that when Ragh is pushing him out of hiding. Ragh is unashamed of his strength and actively likes showing it off. Gorgug is used to holding everything back outside of combat as to avoid scaring anyone, but it's hard not to get caught up in Ragh's excitement and wrestle him a little. Ragh isn't ashamed of being angry and he doesn't search for reasons to morally justify his rage in his head. Gorgug needs a long time to get there, but seeing everyone treat Ragh all the same after he "flips out" does make him feel more comfortable with his friends seeing him rage. Ragh swears openly when he feels like it and doesn't really care that "people think it makes him look angry/scary" and, well, if you're around someone enough you start sharing phrases and vocabulary a little bit.
He just likes Ragh a lot, so it's hard to keep disliking all the ways they're similar.
(Ragh has big tusks, bigger than his. Gorgug likes his smile. When his first grew in he felt like they were immediately so obtrusive and that the other kids at school would immediately think they're scary but...he looks in the mirror and they're barely there? And even if they were bigger it wouldn't be that bad, because Ragh isn't scary at all? Ragh says his tusks are cute, because they're so small. Cute. There's probably a word for the emotion he feels about that but it's hard to grasp.)
Ragh isn't great academically but he doesn't treat that like it's "proof" of any assumption people make about him, and he does know he's great at other stuff and isn't ashamed to voice it. In fact he just likes to point out how good he is at his stuff instead of dwelling on the fact he's "dumb" (which Gorgug does do a lot, pointing out what he's bad at rather than the opposite.) This is extra important because they become close when Ragh is halfway into his? Healing? I suppose? He did internalise that he's "dumb" and only good for one thing (and it was violence) before and that hurt him SO bad so he KNOWS how important this specifically is even if he's not the most insightful guy. He consciously tries to be better about how he talks about his own worth and intelligence (and autonomy.) and having someone like that next to him constantly is steadying for Gorgug.
(Side note. Gorgug clearly IS very school smart but I think the reason he struggled before multiclassing was that he got too anxious about being perceived as "dumb" to try to do more in the first place + internalised feeling like he's just the big angry orc who breaks things and can't do the intelligence based stuff because that's what people treated him like from the get-go. I also like to think he has dyslexia/dysgraphia and instead of elementary/middle school teachers investing time to help him they brushed him off as the above immediately, so he didn't even get a chance. Academic scenarios just made him feel deep shame, so pre fhsy he couldn't thrive in them not for lack of ability but more so because he was scared and miserable and no one helped him try.)
(His parents are nice and encouraged him but his parents weren't at school with him were they? And there were lot of things they just didn't get about him, a lot of fears and worries they couldn't affect at best but often accidentally made worse. They certainly didn't help him with managing his anger haha. And it's not like they would push him to do things he doesn't want. They would've definitely loved tinkering with a younger Gorgug, and maybe even tried, but because he was so scared of breaking everything ((and maybe he did have a few mishaps that felt worse to him than they were)) he refused to set foot in their workshop. After gaining some confidence and recognising that this thinking is wrong he realises he's actually really good at school, just like he realised he's good at tinkering. I think he would admire that Ragh isn't ashamed by not excelling academically and doesn't let the possibility of judgment or failure stop him from trying. Sure, he's not a genius or anything but he put in the work and passed his exams. That's fine. So even though their situations are different here seeing Ragh's attitude helps him a lot.)
Ragh is a lot of things that Gorgug would've condemned himself for but he doesn't have strong feelings about (or actively finds endearing) on Ragh. And once he realises that it. Helps. Sometimes he looks at his tattoos and remembers that he and Ragh share them, and their ancestry, and suddenly they seem more beautiful. It's hard to put into words, I think.
