Just A Little Bit More

So.... I need to talk about something and I won't be able to see my friends until tomorrow.

But the other night I had nonconsensual sex. We were fooling around and the cuddling... Then next thing I know he was inside me I and I froze. A few seconds later he turned me over and was on top of me. I tried to push him away and tell him that he needed to use a condom but he didn't stop.

And because of some bad history, my immediate reaction was to act like I enjoyed it.

And yesterday I texted him to try to explain how I feel and he got really mad. He keeps deleting his messages before I can read them. And now he's saying he's disappointed because he likes me. And I like him too but this has really messed up my head.

I just don't know what to do or what to think or if I want to see him again or what.

Me:. *gets dizzy