Oh, lovely.

I've fucked up my mind so much with all my disordered thoughts that I literally don't look at myself in the mirror. I glance to see if I'm spilling over my clothes but I don't look at myself. I don't look at my face or my skin or my hair or most of my body. The only time I look at myself is when I'm falling out of my clothes. And all I feel is pure disgust and hatred for myself. I will never be pretty. I will never be what I want to be. No matter how much I bleach my teeth. Or dye my hair. Or what clothes I buy. No matter how many tattoos I get or anything. No matter what I do I will always hate myself. I will never escape myself. And it's because of all of this that no one will ever truly love me or stay with me. I'm too fucked up.

On the 15th.. Yep