starters for getdeathforfree

The cat ears wouldn’t be such a bad thing if they didn’t come with cat hearing. I’m not getting any sleep tonight. 

It’s black light night at Amnesia, come wearing black and / or as little as possible. I can promise it will be well worth it, and you’ll fit right in with our hired dancers. The living are welcome too, we only bite the willing at my place.

The moonlight will always be my favorite thing, so don’t be surprised when you find a circle in every spare patch of grass in Ankh-Morpork. I know they’re few and far between, which is just more reason to mark them all. As long as you stay out of the river Ankh, this place is great.

Are there any other students like me out there? I should compound on that. Students that intend to exceed expectations, earn high marks, and go on to take on a high volume of work. I do so hope so.

The sun is finally going down, not that it matters much when you’re inside and well… you all know where you can find me. 

I may or may not have had to take a potion off of the shelves today because it had the unfortunate side effect of turning people’s hair purple. So if you bought the Hair Lengthening Tonic and Shine Elixer, you can bring it back to my shop for a refund. Oops?

What a day, what a day. Happy Tuesday- or, Second Monday, however you like to look at things. This has been quite a productive day, if I do say so myself. Which I do, so it has been. In other news, whomever decided to charm their library book before returning it, please report to the Head Librarian immediately- she has some questions. Namely, how to catch the darn thing. 

I’ve been working so hard and such long hours recently, I think I deserve a little pick-me-up. A reward, of sorts. So, I’m thinking of having my lamp re-done. Anyone out there able to recommend a good interior decorator?

Fuck this, fuck that, fuck this place. Stupid fucking bullshit.