The Reality Check

One must spend at least three hours per day on the company of your Jester, and allow the Jester access to your quarterly reports.

The Jesters will be chosen by voluntary lottery. Jesters will be regularly interviewed to make sure they have not become Lackeys.

https://genius.com/5-seconds-of-summer-boyband-lyrics

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=MdKv82A2vW8&si=oXS076M_G02bHVba

Oh, man. That’s painful. Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was partly inspired by Liam’s passing. 5SOS toured with the One Direction during their TMH and WWA tours. I’m sure they saw and heard a lot of shit — including hiatus conversations, babygate, and Zayn leaving the band.

But I’m sure they’ve had their own awful experiences in the music industry, and they’re seen as a boyband as well. There are some pretty scathing lyrics in there.

[Intro: Luke]

Boy

Boy

I'm your favourite (Boy, boy, boy, boy)

I’m your favourite (Boy, boy, boy, boy)

[Verse 1: Luke]

Give me, give me, give me, give me everything I want

Take my photograph and lick it with a wet tongue

When I'm dead and gone, bury me in stardust

King of the river city, look at what it gave us, oh

[Pre-Chorus: Luke]

Raised on pop punk and bubblegum

Stay young, love me till I get it wrong

Make me the flavour of the week

Now I only feel alive when you're looking at me

Boy (Boy, boy, boy, boy)

Boy (Boy, boy, boy, boy)

I’m your favourite

[Chorus: Calum, Calum & Ashton]

Boy in a boyband, imaginary boyfriend

Irritates the metal heads, it's your favourite (Boyband)

Boy in a boyband, make that monkey dance

Let me see you clap your hands, it's your favourite (Boyband)

[Verse 2: Calum]

Give you, give you, give you, give you everything you want

See me on the telly every time you turn it on

Love me when I'm skinny and we never, ever age

Same four chords, but it never feels the same, oh

[Pre-Chorus: Luke & Calum, Luke]

Raised on pop punk and bubblegum

Stay young, love me till I get it wrong

Make me the flavour of the week

Now I only feel alive when you're looking at me (I'm your favourite)

[Chorus: Calum, Calum & Ashton]

Boy in a boyband, imaginary boyfriend

Irritates the metal heads, it's your favourite (Boyband)

Boy in a boyband, make that monkey dance

Let me see you clap your hands, it's your favourite (Boyband)

[Post-Chorus: Luke & Calum, Luke]

It’s your favourite

(I’m your favourite)

(I'm your favourite)

[Bridge: Calum, Calum & Ashton, Luke]

Boy in a boyband

Make that monkey dance

Make that monkey dance

Make that monkey dance

Boy in a boyband

Make that monkey dance (I’m your favourite)

Make that monkey dance

Make that monkey dance (Boy)

[Chorus: Calum, Calum & Ashton, Luke]

Boy in a boyband, imaginary boyfriend

Irritates the metal heads, it's your favourite (Boyband)

Boy in a boyband (Boy), make that monkey dance (I'm your favourite)

Let me see you clap your hands (Favourite), it's your favourite (Boyband)

[Outro: Michael, Ashton]

Hahaha

That was fucking amazing

Hahahahaha

I had to admit, it was really fucking awesome, come check it

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇪🇸 🇮🇹 🇲🇽 🇺🇸

“Robbie never actually called me out on it, but I’m sure I was who he was talking about.”

By Rolling Stone UK 6 October 2025 4:54 PM

As Louis Tomlinson graces the cover of Rolling Stone UK for the first time, the former One Direction star has told us about the pressures of solo fame as he gears up to release his third album.

The singer’s third album How Did I Get Here? lands on January 23 next year, and Tomlinson has told Rolling Stone UK of his hope that it will act as “a reflection of how confident I am” and how the new music will “feel like a journey from the mildly dark sonic place” of his last album, 2022’s Faith in the Future, to a much sunnier destination.

“It’s been a long time since, professionally and personally, I’ve been able to have a little spring in my step. So, hopefully that comes across in the record,” he told Rolling Stone UK.

Speaking of the recording process in Costa Rica, he added: “As I’ve got a bit older, I’m really buying into more hippie-ish ideas. I realised I liked the idea of just bathing in that atmosphere and seeing what happened to the music there. I don’t think songs like ‘Lemonade’, ‘Sunflowers’ and ‘Lazy’ would have happened without Costa Rica.”

Notably, Louis now finally feels more confident as a solo artist. “I would have struggled to say six years ago that I’m an artist: an individual artist in my own right… But I definitely feel like I can now.”

Tomlinson also reflected on an Instagram post shared by Robbie Williams in April, in which the singer wrote about being asked for selfies by cabin crew on a recent flight and recalled how one crew member told Williams he was “much nicer” than another celebrity on board who had said no to photos.

“That made me bristle. I know that other celebrity – and he’s a lovely lad,” Williams wrote. “Who knows what was going on in his world that day?”

Louis went on to explain his belief that he was the unnamed celebrity and the moment came at a time when he was grieving.

“Robbie never actually called me out on it, but I’m sure I was who he was talking about,” Tomlinson said, before explaining why incidents like this have made him more wary. “I was right in the middle of my grief. I felt cross with the world, to be honest.

“What’s tough in that situation, psychologically, is that you know there’s no answer other than ‘Sorry, I’m a cunt.’ Because you know there’s no excuse you can make that can kind of alleviate that blow.”

Tomlinson offered to sign something for the crew member instead but pointed out that “people are less excited about signatures these days because they can’t put them online like a photo.”

He then explained that situations like this could “end up putting you off leaving the house next time, because you just think, ‘All I was doing there was trying to protect myself.’”

Tomlinson added that he always tries to “push through” this urge to withdraw because he believes “the best way of staying mentally healthy is actually letting the world in”.

Touring, he said, has been where he has found himself most comfortable with his fame: “I’ve had shows where I’ve been feeling down in the dumps and shit, and then I’ve thought, ‘Have my fans got some idea that I wasn’t feeling too good?’ Because they’ve completely transformed the way I’m feeling about myself,” he said. “I can look into the eyes of the girl on the front row and literally feel what the show means to her.”

And as for new music, RS UK was also lucky enough to hear a number of other tracks on Louis’ record. ‘Imposter’ is a slinky indie sleaze jam, while the anthemic ‘Palaces’ has shades of The Cure. Tomlinson recorded some of the album in Los Angeles and portions in the English countryside, but says the album really took shape during a relaxed songwriting camp in Santa Teresa, a surfing village on Costa Rica’s Nicoya Peninsula.

Issue 24 of Rolling Stone UK with Louis Tomlinson will drop in print on October 9. The full cover story will arrive online in the week after.

LOUIS’ ROLLING STONE PHOTOSHOOT JUST DROPPED. (6 October 2025)