You're brilliant Charles. Don't give Up.

This is so inexpected! I cried happily.

Was the first dialogue between me and my partner. Im relieved to be bearing a child. I have a deep need for one after my abortion exactly a year and a month ago. This feeling as been so inner. Im walking around, laying around, stumbling around in my own little bubble. All parts of my brain activated doing different things all at once to prepare me for something I dont understand and always ignored. I didnt want a kid. Now I do. I dont know why maybe because im an animal and need to nurture and become more of the earth rather than just me,a self centered chronic worrier. My child will probably think Im a weirdo but that makes me even more excited.

My hairline keeps declining. I am only 27. I cant see my toes. My sweat glands are enlarged. I hate my brother, he's ignorant. Thinks he's better than me.. I'll show him.One day Ill be all alone. Finally. Waiting for something to crawl in and drag my feet down below my bed atls i sleep. Taking me to a place with more questions instead of orders. Dont believe me? Cant you see the breath. My foggy exhale. The smell it has when inhaled? A deterrent. From you. The people who call me a bore. The ones who say I have nothing to my name worthy enough for their interest. I cant provide what youre seeking. I dont really understand how those things materialize. How could I. I cant count to ten. I have 7 fingers. The rest were lost in a work accident. I now collect my winnings. From the company. The company I lost my fingers at. My work. My old work. I dont work. I no longer work anymore.