George Kaunga

Buried in deep smiles

That hurts 

More with time

When it's supposedly

things get better

She said

you're worse

than drug addicts

because atleast

they've committed to something

You're the summary

of the world's

you're exposed to

And these days

I've been

burying the pain

Trying not to feel

the weight

Of indecision

But I guess

even that's

a decision in itself

Everyone wants

to keep me

for themselves

Leaning on me

when the times

are tough

But won't commit

like I'm not enough

Compartmentalising interactions

In hopes

theyll last longer

than these sessions

It's getting tough

I'm too old

to let you believe

I could love you

the way

Resedues of memories influence; in trivial everyday things.

A different time looms

A new seasonal quarter begins with the pain in the joints.

With a creaky bounce or a crack in place.

Trapped in a weak minded state

With one escape

To put in the hard yards

And attack the goals you make

The roles you take when you're inspired.

I write, jot down, notaries, all the time.

My pen stays in phase to create,

I scratch and dash though editing the days.

And I begin afresh like a blank sketch

We fluctuate in normality and being ourselves

Till the lines blur

And we become shades of who we were

Or become who we are

Living with a future that's ours

Our passed scars aligned with the stars

That's why I refer to mine as Jupiter or mars

Every experience been out of this world

And they always occur

I met myself through a friend

A bridge into the soul

of a version of me I used to know

I have a something

that's only intrinsic to me

a love language

that's clashing

with everything thats happening

And that's my reality

at this point in time

I'm trying to find

a way to deal with it

but it means fighting with who I am

as a person

And that hasn't been easy

I tend to go with the flow in life

Till it jackknifes'

That's when I shine

But that hasn't been the case

this time around

So I don't know what to do

I thought about texting you

Mid sleep

no dream

just the sound of my voice

talking to you

I rolled over

in a dazed state

Tryna manipulate

my body into textual positions

Only to get distracted

by another random thought

of your smile

I smile

Almost as if

I realized

just how immature It all is

Playing games with my time

I'm playing games with yours

We talk and stare in silence

Examining the details of your features

Wishing that I could reach out

and touch your arms

as I lay calm

drowning in your neck

Each breathe taken in rhythm

Like synchronized steps

Whispering I'm not spoilt I'm kept

You giggle as I object

I lay Jaded on your chest

Leaving marks without protest

Took a bite out of love

With a sip

The blends mend

Tongue and cheek swirls

Of warm flavour

Into soothing natural scents

Wood textures

through the ridges of my tips

With an accent

of burning oils

Saving my senses

from internal turmoil

I reach for a sugar sachet

But the test sip is sweet

No need

I mumble

Letting the glass kiss my lips

I breathe the citrus

And taste the aroma

On my tongue

I feel the liquid

Warming my insides

I love the burn

She stares aggressively

Almost willing me Unwillingly

I'm feeling me

And it's happening naturally

Empty my thoughts

As though my eyes closed

I'm half way through the pot

As you explore

Came karma free

I was kept

Like a piece of art

A trinket

Lining your sleeve

The mind

throws signs

that are infitnite

Intricate intimacies

Interesting energies alike

that you were taught

to know what was happening

was a feeling

While I was taught

to show only

when it's in reason

Just know

if we ought to grow

We lose pieces of ourselves

like teeth

Chewing on food for thought

we claim to know

Just so we get a chance

Dont change it just be more aware of it and be ready in some instances to say no.

You have drive, to be driven

in the sense of

If you really wants something

you'll go for it

The negative is,

sometimes you lose yourself

while focusing so much one one thing.

You have this tunnel vision

and the most important thing

is that goal at the end,

and the way that you had envisioned

doing it.

Not allowing yourself to test your creativity to the full

Sometimes it's cool

and gets things done

Sometimes you lose

the craziness that tends no sneak in

And make everything around you connect to be amazing

Sometimes i lay gazing at the way it all works

The connected dots between thoughts people get lost in

The thread of unique

in being genuine

in one's skin

The blend of intense intent of you in rhythm

How your silence sings