ETERNAL FEMININE

In time (madoka)

Hmmm… Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Rebellion was released back in 2013. Welp, better late than never I suppose. 

Okay, I’ve watched the movie twice and the ending scene about 4-6 times alone and I have some thoughts. 

For me, I strongly believe Homura knew what was going to happen at the end of Rebellion. She knew she was going to turn into a demon and give into her selfish desires. I think this mainly because of her lines and my adamant discussion in my head that she isn’t an entirely bad person. She knew what she was doing, but she knew that before it happened and knew it was bad of her. I think of this mainly because of her comments throughout the whole ending battle scene and when Madoka reaches out to her to break out of the shell.

“Mami Tomoe and Kyoko Sakura are both here, I believe in them.”

“This world will be my grave.“  

"No! You don’t understand! I have to DIE HERE!" 

"I’m so sorry! I’m so weak, I just wanted you back with me…" 

"I’d commit the greatest sin for one more chance, even if it turns me into a monster." 

Homura knew, she probably didn’t intend for it to happen. She probably never intended to let that happen. Throughout the movie and during her confrontation with Kyubey, she accepted Madoka’s choice and refused to let Kyubey get to her. She even told Madoka she knew she would have the strength to make that decision again. She accepted Madoka’s fate and she’d rather die than let Madoka’s wish be in vain.  

However, much like how Homura’s time loop increased Madoka’s karmic destiny to become a magical girl, it also increased Homura’s as well. Specifically her desire and desperation to save her. 

Every failed loop, Madoka’s karmic destiny to become a magical girl increased. Every failed loop, Homura’s desire to prevent that also increased. 

Madoka’s karmic destiny reaching a peak and allowing her to become a god in turns means Homura’s looping time had her own karmic destiny reach its peak. Making her desires and desperation to prevent Madoka’s fate result in her turning into a demon. It lines up, and despite what Homura does, perhaps once she started that loop, she and Madoka are now fated to exist as opposites. 

Madoka’s hope to help everyone she can, despite the risk she puts herself in. And Homura’s despair of failing to stop her every single time. 

Homura didn’t come to this conclusion until near the end of Rebellion when she confronted Kyubey. When she realized this, that’s why she was terrified of being saved. She was desperate to be killed. She knew she needed to die so the demonic half of her wouldn’t be birthed. In Kyubey’s words, the demon would’ve died before it hatched. If the demon half of her couldn’t escape, then she couldn’t have done anything to Madoka. If Homura somehow knew she would be too corrupt to be saved, it could be another reason why she wished to die inside the soul gem. 

It's… ironic in a sense, Homura tried so hard to change Madoka’s fate, that when it came to her own, she accepted her death and was terrified when that fate was being averted. She didn’t want to be saved, she didn’t want to hurt Madoka, she knew what she was going to do and was scared of it. 

When she awoke in the real world and when Madoka came for her. Homura wasn’t there anymore. It was the demon and only the demon. 

Homura had fallen victim to her desires that have strengthened over the course of all of her time loops. 

Like she said at the end, she is now a concept called "Evil”. Homura’s existence died when she broke her soul gem and turned it into that crown. Just like how Madoka stopped existing and became the “Law of Cycles”. Or perhaps Homura stopped existing right after Madoka saved her in the labyrinth. 

“Are you scared?”

“I’m fine… I’m ready now." 

That could have been Homura’s last words. At least the entity known as Homura Akemi had ceased to exist at that moment. 

Madoka and the Law of Cycles had become split. All thanks to the concept of "Evil”, who’s original form died a short while ago… Her soul gem was far too corrupted and filled with karmic destiny for the Law of Cycles to purify.  

“Evil” may be happy with the outcome, fulfilling Homura Akemi’s original desire. But the being known as Homura Akemi had once again failed. She had ceased to exist with her original wish cursing everyone around her. Madoka become “Hope” and Homura became “Despair”. 

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