gryph

what if instead of the mountain goats it was the mountain crabs and in no children they said claw in unlovable claw. what about that. you fucking asshole

Well for one, goats also don't have hands but you probably knew that. For two though? Crabs won't drown. Kinda defeats the point of the whole song

I was going to sass @thekijs about absurd minutiae like "well how do we know it's salt water?? Crabs would definitely die if the characters of the song were drowning in a flood or a lake!" But then I read the lyrics and about the characters and yeah, the story for this song is set in Florida. They probably do have to be in saltwater to have "no sign of land" as they drown.

Also there are freshwater crabs, but good research! I did not bother checking the song for location clues.

I can't believe I never came back to remind you about terrestrial crabs that are capable of drowning. You won this round....

nobody tells you this growing up as a sped kid: not only are you not unintelligent compared to the average person, but you will meet people with degrees who still manage to be morons. despite these truths, you will continue to worry that you will never measure up to your peers forever

so they said that it turns out that if you centrifuge ricotta cheese at something like 20,000 RPM for a few minutes, you end up with a solid substance that's delicious but so rich that it feels like it solidifies your arteries instantly. they were working on incorporating it into pastry fillings

having the Aviation Accident Investigations Autism™️ has actually done wonders for the way I process and respond to my own fuck-ups

note to self.....try to make one of these

Secret passages, much like quick sand and grappling hooks, do not play as much of a role in my adult life as I imagined in my youth.

new entry in the wish fulfillment fantasy where my friends are all my neighbours: build secret rooms for @thepookainthehat

what if instead of the mountain goats it was the mountain crabs and in no children they said claw in unlovable claw. what about that. you fucking asshole

Well for one, goats also don't have hands but you probably knew that. For two though? Crabs won't drown. Kinda defeats the point of the whole song

I was going to sass @thekijs about absurd minutiae like "well how do we know it's salt water?? Crabs would definitely die if the characters of the song were drowning in a flood or a lake!" But then I read the lyrics and about the characters and yeah, the story for this song is set in Florida. They probably do have to be in saltwater to have "no sign of land" as they drown.

Calm down jojo

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

World Heritage Post

I wonder how these folks are doing, all these years later.

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

I couldn't scroll by without tapping @thepookainthehat unexpectedly on the shoulder to show them this