i would of gone with you to the very end

From the very moment I open my eyes that familiar uncomfortable discomfort settles into my bones. As I try to get up my hips are stiff and I can barely stand on my feet. The walk from our bed to the bathroom is slow as I work the tension out of my back and legs. It was a constant state of being for me, but today was worse than normal. Perhaps it was the constant rain outside, the way I slept last night, or how bent up my husband had me last night before he went to work. The cause was unclear, but the constant throbbing was there.

I lean against the counter as I enter the bathroom using my hands as a prop to keep myself steady. My face contorting with pain as I try to stretch and ease the pain but it doesn't work. If anything it might have made it worse. This was the unfortunate reality of being chronically ill. Constant pain that often came out of nowhere and you never knew what triggered it.

I take a deep breath and run the water, cupping some in my hands I bring it up to my face. The coolness refreshes my senses as I wake up. I knew that today would be less than thrilling as I navigated the flare up. After doing my business I slowly went down the stairs to the kitchen so I could make something to eat. Much to my surprise there was something pre-made in the fridge. A note signed J on the top of it. A small smile spreads across my lips despite the pain. My ever thoughtful husband takes care of me even in his absence.

As I heat up the food I watch the birds in the birdbath outside. Remembering how I had begged Jack to let me put it out there. He had grumbled about it being unsanitary and messy, but ultimately he gave in and did exactly as I wanted. The thought of him made me warm and made me smile like an idiot to myself.

After breakfast I try to tend to the house chores I usually do, but I was in far too much pain this morning to do so. Instead I head into the bathroom downstairs and grab the Tylenol from the cabinet. A constant must have in our home, as well as ibuprofen. Jack always cautioned about taking too much and the effects it has on your body. Which I understood, but he also understood the reality of living in constant pain and sometimes needing relief.

He would be home in a little over 2 hours and to say I needed him was an understatement. The pain often made me needy and whiny and only he could make it better. Which he knew after all this time together. Though I often didn't tell him when I was in pain, and that always frustrated him. He'd always give me that stern doctor look when I waited until it was unbearable to come to him.

I decided to take it easy and sit on the couch telling myself the house chores could wait until I felt better. The time slips away from me and I fall asleep on the couch. Which is usually a very bad idea.

My senses come alive again when I feel a soft brush of warmth against my forehead. A soft groan escapes my lips as I try to sit up. “Jack?” I call softly.

His warm hands wrap around my wrists gently pulling me up before my eyes register his presence.

“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?” He asks softly. His voice sent shivers down my spine as it always did.

I grumble and lean forward resting my head against his chest. He hums softly, his warm hand coming up to cup the back of my neck as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“Daddy,” slips from my lips easily.

“Shh, baby. You hurtin?” He asks, strong fingers kneading the back of my scalp.

I simply nod, still unable to lift my head and look at him properly. Only wanting warmth and presence instead of talking properly. He knew then what I needed and what I wanted. Jack carefully guides me back against the couch cushion, his hands moving to my shoulders as he does so.

He squats down in front of me, his hands resting on my thighs squeezing softly as he looks up at me. My eyes finally flutter open as he sits waiting. My gaze sweeps over his face, taking in his tired expression and feeling guilty.

“Don't look at me like that.” He warns. His voice was stern but soft.

I put my hand palm up on my thigh. A quiet plea for contact. His fingertips trace over my hand as he looks at me. I hold his gaze.

“Talk to me.” He commands softly.

“Hurt, everywhere.” I murmur, closing my eyes again.

His eyes soften, and he moves up onto the couch beside me. The cool metal of his prosthetic pressing into my left calf. He pulls me into his chest holding me tighter than before. A soft sigh escapes his lips. I knew he was worried.

“Come on,” he instructs, pulling me up with him.

I let him guide me through the living room and up the stairs. His hand is warm in mine as he leads me to our bedroom. My right side throbs as I walk behind him. I try to take deep breaths to ease the pain, but it doesn't help.

When we reach our room I nearly collapse onto the bed. A soft groan escaping my lips as I do so.

I hear Jack's soft chuckle as I snuggle into his side of the bed. The bed dips when he sits beside me.

He pushes my shirt up slowly exposing my back. I can feel his fingers begin to slowly knead the muscles along my spine and I let out a soft whine. It hurt, but also felt amazing. I feel his lips brush against my spine and I shiver a needy sound escaping my lips.

“Tell me what you need, baby.” He encourages softly.

It killed me when he did that. Always making me speak up and ask for things. I sigh, my body relaxing further into the mattress.

“A massage. Please.” I mumble, my voice muffled by the pillow.

He presses another gentle kiss to my spine before shifting. Jack pulls his prosthetic off to get on the bed with me and throws his leg over my hips straddling me from behind. I awkwardly pull my shirt off my hair covering my face as I do so. Jack unclasps my bra, pushing it off my arms.

“Right side.” I murmur into the pillows.

His firm hands press into my skin applying gentle pressure at first and gradually getting harder. A soft groan escapes my lips as he hits one particularly tender spot.

“Good baby?” He asks, his lips brushing the back of my neck. His hands moved to gently squeeze my ass.

I nod my eyes closing.

“Use your words.” He whispers against my ear. His voice sent shivers down my spine again.

I internally groan. “Yes, daddy.” I whisper.

He kisses my neck again. “Good girl. Let me run you a bath. I'll be right back.”

The weight of his body lifts from mine and I let out a soft sound of resistance. I didn't want him to stop touching me. He steps into our bathroom and turns the water on. The sound fills the room and my eyes droop. I was still hurting, but I felt better.

I roll over onto my back pulling my bra the rest of the way off and throwing it on the floor. Jack returns a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He stands quietly, watching and observing as I lay spread out on the bed. My breasts are on full display with no shame. As if there ever could be with Jack.

“Come on.” He instructs softly.

Slowly I sit up and slide off the bed. Walking over to him I stop in front of him once again pressing my face into his chest. His rough palms glide over my back as he rubs soothingly.

“So needy.” He muses, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Don't make fun of me.” I pout.

He grips my shoulders pushing me back so he can meet my eyes with his own. “Watch your mouth.” He warns playfully.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him again. “Sorry.” I murmur.

He reaches up and cups my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek as he leans down and kisses me softly. His scruff scratches my cheeks in that delicious way I love. Even when I was in pain. My fingers curl in the hair at the nape of his neck as I kiss him back, almost desperately.

When he pulls away I whine softly. “Why'd you stop?”

“Because you need to get your ass in that tub.” He states, his hands sliding down my hips and squeezing my ass again.

“Go.” He says giving a gentle smack.

I do as I'm told and go into the bathroom. Jack comes up behind me and carefully pulls my pajama shorts down along with my panties before helping me into the tub. When he doesn't join me I look up at him with furrowed brows.

“Why aren't you coming in?” I ask.

He presses his thumb between my brows, smoothing away the furrow. “Sh, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.” He assures.

I sigh softly, but listen leaning back against the tub and closing my eyes. Jack sits on the edge of the tub and watches as I soak in the warm water. I lean my head on the edge of the tub looking up at him. He runs his fingers through my hair, tucking some of it behind my ear.

I could see it in his eyes. The worry about the pain I was currently in. He didn't want to hover or ask too many questions because he knew at the end of the day with chronic pain it could happen at any time. Jack would often experience similar things with his leg.

“Are you sure you're okay?” He asks softly. The concern is real and genuine

I nod softly, reaching up and grabbing his hand in my hair bringing it to my lips.

His gaze softens and he presses his thumb against my lips. I press a kiss to the pad of his thumb and let go of his hand. Closing my eyes I rest my head on his thigh as I continue soaking in the tub.

“I need you.” I murmur softly.

Jack's thigh tenses beneath my cheek.

“No.” He says firmly.

My eyes open wide at his denial.

“No?” I furrow my brow.

“Yeah, no. We aren't having sex. Not with the pain you're in.” He states, his tone final.

I sat up then. “Jack.” I whisper. The slightest bit of heartbreak in my voice.

He never denied. Ever. His eyes held mine as he crossed his arms over his chest. A true sign he wasn't going to budge on his decision. A sense of betrayal flashed through my eyes.

Jack sighs heavily. “Sweetheart, you're in pain. What if I make it worse.” He asks, genuine concern in his voice.

“Then it gets worse. You know you're the only thing that makes me feel better Jack.” I told him.

He watches me for a long time, silently warring with himself on whether or not to give into what his wife wants.

“If we didn't have sex when I was in pain we'd never have sex Jack. I'm in pain every day. Every single day. You are the only thing that makes it bearable.” I state.

He crumbles. “Jesus, baby.” He whispers.

“Don't make me beg you for sex.” I whisper. “Please.”

His demeanor shifts. “Alright. But I swear to god if it hurts too bad you fucking tell me.” He states, grabbing my chin firmly.

“I will.” I smile.

When he releases my chin he grabs my hand and pulls me up out of the water. He takes my towel and wraps it around me as I step out of the tub.

“Go sit on the bed.” He instructs.

I do as he says and walk back into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. I felt like a scolded child and mentally laughed at myself.

When he comes out of the bathroom he's naked. My eyes trace over his body shamelessly. He stands still for a moment letting me get a good look. A soft smile appears on my lips as I take in his prosthetic. Finally, my eyes meet his and only then does he close the distance between us. When he reaches me he cups my face with both hands and kisses me deeply.

I could taste the worry on his lips as his fingers moved to grasp my hair. My hands find purchase on his thighs as he stands in front of me kissing me. They move on their own, inching closer to his cock as he deepens the kiss. When my fingers wrap around his cock he jerks a soft hiss falling from his lips.

“Eager.” He groans against my mouth.

“For you.” I pant as I kiss him again.

I begin stroking him and he stands up straight allowing me better access. My other hand squeezes his thigh. He groans as I lean forward and lick at the tip of his cock.

“Behave.” He rasps.

My eyes flicker up to meet his as I take him into my mouth. He lets out a breathy moan, his head tipping back.

“Fuck, baby. Doing so well.” He praises, his fingers tightening in my hair.

I stroke and suck his cock until his legs shake. Finally, he pushes me away. “Enough.” He rasps.

He reaches for my towel and practically rips it off.

“Which position?” He asks, gently squeezing my breasts.

“Prone.” I state, looking up at him.

“Get on your belly.” He instructs, pushing me back softly.

I do as I'm told and get on my stomach. He grabs a pillow and pushes it under my hips. My legs spread to accommodate him from behind. But it's far less strain than being on my back and legs spread. Missionary was great until my hips hurt and I could barely lift my legs.

He presses against my slick entrance from behind. Rubbing my arousal on his length before easily pushing inside. We both moan and I press my face into the mattress. He held still for a moment, gaining strength not to bust immediately after I blew him. His chest presses against my back as he lays over me for a moment. Pressing gentle kisses to my back and neck as he holds himself deep inside of me.

After over a minute of waiting I was getting impatient. My pussy clenches around him wet and needy. “Daddy, please.” I whimper. He lets out a soft groan.

“Shh, daddy's got you.” He practically moans in my ear as he rocks his hips pushing deeper.

My pussy makes a wet sound and he moans. “Fuck you're so wet.” He praises.

A whimper escapes my lips as he still hasn't moved. I squirm beneath him and he grasps my hips.

“Not uh.” He huffs.

“Please.” I beg.

“Please what?” He pants in my ear.

“Please, daddy. Fuck me.” I whimper. No shame in how desperate I was.

“Good girl.” He hums in my ear.

Slowly he pulls almost all the way out before pushing back in all the way. Over and over he goes at this torturous pace. Never fully stimulating, only enough to leave me wanting more. My pussy dripped around his cock as he slowly fucked me.

“I won't break. I need more. Please.” I pant.

He nips my earlobe and starts moving faster. His hips hitting mine with a wet smack from our combined arousal. A moan escapes my lips as I finally get what I want.

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” He growls in my ear. “Daddy's cock buried deep?”

A pathetic mewl leaves my lips and he chuckles. His hand grips my shoulder as he begins to move harder. His cock pounding into me. Dragging against my g-spot with every thrust. A whine escapes my lips as my pussy flutters around his cock.

“Close aren't you.” He chuckles. “So obsessed with it.”

My vision blurs from pleasure. I was so close. My toes curled and my legs began to shake as he pounded into me harder. Every moany breath he let out brought me closer to the edge.

“Gonna come.” I whine.

He grips the back of my neck. “Come for me.” He demands.

I moan as the dam breaks and I come. Clenching desperately around him as he continues to fuck me through my orgasm. He doesn't stop until he comes inside of me with a groan. Pressing kiss after kiss to the back of my neck as he stayed there.

“So good for me.” He murmurs between kisses. “Love you so much.”

Despite the earlier pain I felt so good it wasn't funny. Just something about my husband's cock always made me feel better. I smile at the thought.

Eventually he pulls out of me and rolls me gently onto my back. He kisses me softly and deeply, pouring his heart into it.

“I love you, sweetheart.” He whispers against my lips.

“I love you more, Jack.”